Alma asks…

“OK, I tried to do what you say, listen to the thoughts that is. And it’s HARD! Because the mind stream comes back in quickly, in less than a second. I have a very active mind, from the moment I wake up, the chatter starts and goes on and on…

But another thing I noticed is that when I start focusing on the endless thoughts as an outsider, I feel fear. Why fear? And then the thoughts overwhelm me again.

I didn’t mention before, but I was diagnosed with OCD and I had (and still have as a matter of fact) intrusive thoughts, which come in full strength in more stressful times. And they are annoying and tiring, and sometimes I have the impression of losing my mind. And they are scary, I know the trick here is to not be afraid of them, but it’s beyond me. I am afraid, period.

Actually this is how I came across you for the first time, searching about intrusive thoughts, and I found your unwanted thoughts article. I really like your advice and insights, but when it comes to putting them in practice, it’s hard, because I can’t stop being afraid of what these unwanted thoughts are telling me.

Thank you again for all your help.”

Thanks for writing in :-) First thing to get REALLY clear is that lifestyle and meditation as a key part of your lifestyle are the answers.

I’ve been where you are, so I know what it’s like and how hard it is to overcome.

Be sure to follow all the lifestyle guidance in Happy Guide because that’s going to mean your physical health and all factors that could be affecting how your physical brain works are addressed.

For example, food intolerances can affect your thinking so Happy Guide addresses those issues.

For anyone suffering ANY chronic health issue I recommend the no grain/dairy version of the Happy Guide diet which can be gradually relaxed back to the standard Happy Guide diet once you’re well again, provided symptoms don’t return… Continue reading “Feeling fear in meditation” →

You worry about how to talk to people — what you will say, how they will react and so on…

Let go of this as a problem. Stop worrying about it, stop thinking about it. When someone is talking, simply listen. Give them all your attention. The right words will come if you stay relaxed and don’t become tense.

If you think of this as a problem you’ll automatically become tense and then you can’t be spontaneous.

It’s all about awareness — of what they are saying, of what you are feeling as a result, of how you are reacting. Awareness alone changes things…

Getting into a regular meditation habit will make a huge difference… Meditate by focusing on what you’re doing and being aware of every thought that pops. You will begin to notice shifts in how you relate and how people relate to you.

If you stay relaxed and open, people will be open with YOU. If you have judgements, false identifications, problems, tensions, people will be judgemental and tense around you… Continue reading “How to talk to people” →

Focus on what you’re doing with a quiet mind — always.

This makes EVERYTHING a meditation and this one thing alone will transform your life for the better…

You will begin to trust that the right thoughts will come at the right time and by being expansive, aware and OPEN in this way, you actually ALLOW the right thoughts to come at the right time.

You are always choosing with your ATTENTION, whether that is to external or internal things. And what you pay attention to will grow… like watering seeds. Continue reading “Self mastery” →

Jane asks…

“I am struggling at the moment. I’m having trouble with controlling my thoughts. I’ve developed a habit of thinking negatively which is so unlike me but I can’t seem to stop.

And I’m starting to feel that I am projecting negative energy even though I am trying so hard to stay positive. And we all know negative energy just attracts more negative energy. I’m not a positive affirmations sort of girl so I’ve only tried them half heartedly: the negative voice in my head just shouts them down.

I think the main problem is that I feel incredibly lonely, even though I have wonderful friends and family who I know are there for me. I don’t have a partner at the moment and haven’t for a couple of years and I’m at that stage where everyone else around me seems to be moving forward: buying houses, getting married, having babies while I feel like I’m in some sort of holding pattern.

I feel unfulfilled and like I’m drifting through life without a purpose. At the end of the day isn’t loving someone and being loved what life is all about?”

“Negative energy attracts more negative energy” — it’s great you’ve got that clarity, we can work with that.

First of all I’d say “Stay focused on your lifestyle” and getting the six lifestyle elements bedded in as good habits so you’re flying along.

A happy body makes for a happy mood and when your biochemistry is in the fantastic to utterly amazing range, it’s hard to feel bad! :-)

Love and be loved yes, and the more you are in your “YOU” space, the closer you are to love and the more you love everybody and everything. And with love being the ultimate in good feelings, that’s going to attract awesome stuff to you. So where to go from here…

Keep doing the good stuff in terms of lifestyle as I said and now work on your mind. Continue reading “How to stop being negative” →

Taking a break and doing a bit of reading, I came across this, from the famous book I AM THAT.

It’s a kind of beautiful summary of what the “Live in the Moment” chapter of Happy Guide is about.

Interestingly, he repeats over and over in the book, that all one need do is enquire “Who am I?” or simply go to the feeling “I AM.”

This is where you get to by using the Happy Guide method of “listening” and then paying full attention to your doing, your flow. It took him only 3 years of dedication to “I AM” to realize the truth, as outlined below… Continue reading “How to live in the present moment” →

One of my favorite subjects — spirituality. Just who are we? I’ve been reading and practicing for over 20 years and I can tell you that this is really all you need to know about it. It’s one line from the Tao Te Ching translated by Stephen Mitchell…  Continue reading “All you need to know about spirituality” →

“Beliefs are thoughts and thoughts aren’t me,
so ‘I’ can’t be offended, if you don’t agree.” :-)

If you find yourself offended, taking things personally or getting upset by what people think or say, remember my little maxim.

It might help :-)

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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.

Read Chapter 1 “The Happiness Secret”
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Practice the art of “listening.” You can do it at any time. At first, it’s simple but very difficult to do.

Here’s what you do…

Don’t think, unless your thinking has a purpose. The rest of the time just “listen.” Don’t think, only listen to thoughts coming and going.

Notice… there is no thought…
Ah! There is a thought and it said “xyz.”
Notice… there is no thought again… Continue reading “How to stop the endless stream of thoughts” →