Making progress in getting rid of unwanted thoughts

Ahsan asks…

“The progress is ok, but I need a finishing touch to really end this. By finishing touch I mean a killer to really end the whole of it. The thoughts are an “on and off” kind of situation and sometimes I am able to ignore but sometimes they still bother me.

It’s happened before that I think I have found a solution and then these thoughts get back again. The problem is that I am still feeling uncomfortable. I want to feel free, relaxed and light but there is still a kind of mental barrier.”

© Helga Weber

Please, please understand that this progress is immensely important. You should be overjoyed at this progress.

There is no killer other than “no importance — distract”, provided any supporting beliefs have been deconstructed — which is the case with you, since you know these thoughts are silly.

This simple method IS the killer but please, please be patient, consistent and calm about applying it…

KNOW that this method will result in the end of these unwanted thoughts that have plagued you for so long and that this knowledge and feeling will give you the calmness you need.

On and off is wonderful. Much easier to deal with on and off. When they come, simply notice the thought forming, give no importance and distract, remove attention back to what you were doing…

Relax, seriously. DIRECTION is everything and progress means the right direction. If you get frustrated, that is more attention. If you get disturbed that is more attention and you risk ramping the whole thing up again.

Stay calm and faithful, apply the method with absolute consistency and you will see the end of this — the forgetting of unwanted thoughts.

Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird

58 thoughts on “Making progress in getting rid of unwanted thoughts

  1. yes mike ,
    i understand what should i do and how to do it but still sometimes i let these thoughts disturb me i dont know why i know now u might get fed up of me but that is why im suffering from ocd , there is a great inconsistency in me

  2. Hi Ahsan,

    I won’t get fed up but it can be frustrating going over the same ground when what REALLY needs to happen is the consistent application of a very simple but incredibly effective and powerful technique.

    You have experience now with this method and you know that when applied with full effort, always leads to improvement and progress.

    What I’m saying is that direction is everything. Progress is very rarely a simple line from here to there. Instead we tend to go around in circles for a while until the cause and effect relationships become very clear.

    BUT if you had complete faith in what I’m saying, it WOULD BE a straight line. The thoughts would die away and disappear very quickly.

    Thoughts become thought habits and old thought habits have DEEP GROOVES and many triggers. That’s why you need to send your unconscious mind the most CLEAR and consistent message.

    “This is NOT IMPORTANT,” and remove attention. Apply it over and over and over again, simply, calmly, confidently.

    In this way, all triggers are reprogrammed by this new habit which at first only has a shallow groove. But persist and be consistent and the new habit soon becomes very firmly established.

    My frustration is seeing it soooo clearly and trying to get that clarity across to what is a disturbed mind. But have you ever known me once to say something different? The message is clear and precise because it needs to be, to be effective.

    This method will result in the FORGETTING of unwanted thoughts. Have FAITH in that, trust what I’m telling you and give your 100% effort to “no importance, distract.”

    Change that inconsistency to consistency in applying this. It only needs your consistent best effort.

    If you’re inconsistent you really CONFUSE your unconscious mind. One minute you say it’s not important, the next it’s important again — in fact, the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life. This will lead to very slow progress.

    Ahsan, ponder what needs to be done until it’s totally, absolutely CRYSTAL CLEAR and your decision to follow through with this is UNSHAKABLE.

    Then FOLLOW THROUGH, totally, with 100% committment and clarity and that is the fastest and most effective way to rid yourself of this nightmare.

  3. hi mike,
    i have tried extremly hard to give no attention and ignore these thoughts but the problem i am feeling is that they are not letting me relax and are bothering my concentration in what ever i am doing i know its easy to say that just ignore but i am so much into them that i cant go with logic and i am again feeling extremly disturbed i thought i should not email you the same problem again but as u know i am help less and really getting rest less and worried that when would this problem get solved and when should i able to live a normal life
    and the main problem which i feel is that these thoughts are about religion had my ocd been about any thing else i am sure i would have able to control it , plz help me and tell me some other solution , mike plz dont get fed up from me u can help me , plzzzz

  4. Hi Ahsan,

    You have already experience the cause and effect of ATTENTION. When you’ve used this method, it leads to diminishing unwanted thoughts. Trust THAT, see the cause and effect. Attention is the volume control for thoughts.

    It’s very easy to say ignore and that is lucky for you because if it was difficult to explain the method, you’d be doomed. With the problem being soooooo complex, it’s a very good thing that the solution is simple.

    There are only two ways I can think of that will ensure you follow through — 1. you SEE how it all works yourself and then it’s a no brainer, you just do it. Or 2. You simply have faith in what I’m telling you AND your own experience of cause and effect.

    Faith is rewarded by experience… as you have seen. What is happening is that you are giving your best effort and getting good results but then the thoughts win over again, having the disturbing qualities attached, as they do.

    It does get easier and easier if you persist. When you start to get frustrated that they are STILL THERE, it’s attention, you start thinking, problem making, getting anxious and the whole thing ramps ups again.

    Imagine this whole problem you have as a complex web/maze of interacting thoughts and feeling all related to this one subject. We’re going to put a fence around the maze and stick a no entry sign at every entry point (trigger).

    To do this, you simply notice/become aware of attention to ANY thought OR feeling related to this subject and DIVERT attention away. Have a consistent diversion and it becomes a NEW habit.

    You have to drop the whole problem, give it up, let it go.

    The solution to a happy life is Happy Guide, WHEREVER you are starting from. The WHOLE thing is the solution… not just the break bad habits chapter and the live in the moment chapter, which you could do with reading about 100 times until it’s so crystal clear you can repeat it verbatim.

    All the six elements are powerful influencers of MOOD. It’s this background mood which has a lot to do with the quality of thoughts AND the meaning we attach to them.

    Do it ALL to get the best result.

    You have built a complex maze of thought habits and these thoughts have a QUALITY or MEANING that you have given them in the past — stress, importance, distubance, anxiety.

    Reprogram when they come by an attitude of INDIFFERENCE. If you feel disturbed, see that is just the feeling triggered by the thought. And that feeling is only there because you told your mind “This is something to FEAR.”

    Reprogram — NO IMPORTANCE.

    See all this as true. SEE it OR just trust me… either will work. The method is simple, easy to say and utterly effective IF APPLIED consistenty and with 100% clarity and committment.

    This attitude will send the CLEAREST of messages to your unconscious mind. This is trash, it means zero to me, you can stop telling me about it.

    Drop the whole problem. No attention, no importance, clear decisive, effective.

    Mike

    1. Ahsan,

      Use the humming method in the Live in the Moment chapter to drown out unwanted thoughts. This can help. Focus on the vibration, the sounds. If your religion has chants you can use those. Don’t forget when praying to do it in a meditative way. This will raise your general abiity to “step back” and not be sucked in by thoughts.

  5. mike, could u plz elaborate about the humming method and i didnt understand what u meant by Focus on the vibration, the sounds. If you religion has chants you can use those. i didnt understood what it meant plz elobrate it a bit

  6. Hi Ahsan,

    It’s about consistently removing attention. You need a consistent distraction. If thoughts are on and off it’s much easier to spot an arising thought and divert.

    If thoughts are all over you can drown it out by filling your mental space… by humming a continuous note and focusing on the vibration… in your head, in your chest and the sound of the note. This is removing attention.

    If your religion has chants… this will also work in the same way.

    See the “Live in the Moment” chapter to refresh your mind on the reason and the methods for living in the moment.

  7. hi mike,
    after all the hard work its so unfortunate that these days my problem is getting even more worse and i am really feeling bad, mike now how do i live my future life , i am just 23 and my whole is ahead of me what should i do , i have tried to ignore and give no importance but i am not getting rid of them , mike its really a very difficult problem
    now what should i do , plz help me

  8. Hi Ahsan,

    Why despair for the future when you have already proved this works?

    It’s incredibly difficult to do at first because these are powerful habits — subtle and powerful and we are not used to standing back and observing our thoughts — our attention is “sucked in.” And you have given tremendous importance and fear to these ideas.

    So they come back frequently and intensely. At first, that’s hard to deal with which is why you need exceptional clarity.

    It like I say to you “Ahsan, I am going to sit you on this chair in front of this door. When I open the door, hell will be unleashed… all kinds of weird, seductive, strange and distrubing things will come. Just do hothing, stare at this dot on the wall to keep sane. If you don’t, these things will drag you in and you’ll be lost, you’ll be dragged into the nightmare.”

    I know it’s hard. I have spent hundreds of hours talking around severely disturbed people because when you’re IN the nightmare, it’s all so confusing and dark and hopeless.

    But if you would only trust me and give your best effort to removing ATTENTION, the nightmare goes very quickly — the worst of it anyway, and after that, just stick to the program and they die away completely.

    If you can’t do it on your own Ahsan, it may be best to get psychological help locally… someone who can spend the time with you to talk you around.

    But this works, as you’ve seen yourself.

    I suggest you read all the emails I sent you, and this post over and over and get REALLY clear. Then decide to do it. Make the decision that whatever “comes through the door” related to this subject, gets NO ATTENTION.

    To do that you must distract because you cannot tell your mind not to think about something.

    I hope this helps Ahsan. Don’t despair for the future. I have seen people on the verge of needing hospitalization turn into sane human beings in only a few days with this method.

    If you get anxious… RUN. Get rid of that adrenaline.

    You have zero chance of controlling thoughts when you’re pumped full of adrenaline.

    Mike

  9. thnx mike,
    i know it works but the problem is how long can i ignore these thoughts , the best is to ignore but still there should be a way that i get rid of these thoughts coming into my mind as you said that u cant tell ur mind to stop tjinking about it , the real problem is that despite ignoring i get mentally disturbed and there is fear all over me , and these thoughts are hurting me so much that i fear that i just dont waste my life because of these , some times i feel so better when i read ur mails and think that why i am still getting bothered by these thoughts , mike i would not like to go to a psychologist as i have not told my family about this problem and cant tell them , mike i am getting more and more desperate to get rid of them , even if i dont get rid of these thoughts i want something that i dont get disturbed and feel relaxed and feel comfortable because i felt better and they come back

  10. Hi Ahsan,

    The fear is all over you because the primitive part of your mind that deals with these things is just wanting you to PAY ATTENTION to the thing YOU told it to FEAR!

    Just SEE it as an old pattern, no longer useful. Notice the fear and have indifference to the fear — because you RECOGNIZE what that fear is and you see it as rubbish.

    It’s like if I live in an area where there are lions and I live in fear of the lions. I think about how to avoid them constantly and carry weapons all the time.

    Then a ranger who I have absolute faith in tells me…

    “Mike, there are no lions now. All the lions have been captured and moved into a game reserve. This area is now clean and fenced off.”

    At first, I still worry. Why? It’s HABIT. I have associated smells, actions, sights, behavior with fear about lions.

    But each time the fear comes I SEE it as OLD. Now… THERE ARE NO LIONS. I simply remember the current reality. And although the fear lingers because that’s what emotions do, I just ride it out, I just ignore it.

    Ahsan, you are making great progress and you get to the point of relief and you think “Yes, I have found a way that works.” And then when thoughts are triggered again, you don’t remember the new conditions… you get sucked in to fearing again which ramps the whole thing back up.

    Here is an iron clad guarantee for you. 100% guaranteed to work. Remember this and appy it as I say and you will get what you want…

    THE FORMULA:

    “From NOW and FOREVER more, whenever I am aware of ANY thought or feeling relating to this subject, I give it no importance and RIVET my attention elsewhere.”

    It doesn’t matter if you get relief and then in two weeks a little thought comes back. Apply the formula with 100% accuracy and these things will STOP COMING.

    Even if you are aware “Hey, I haven’t thought about my unwanted thing for two weeks” THAT IS ATTENTION and you immediately distract.

    BEWARE subtle forms of attention. In your mind a thing is either THERE or it ISN’T.

    You can’t be aware it’s not there — because then it IS there… in your mind. There is ATTENTION to the subject.

    ANYTHING related gets the same treatment… no importance, distract. FROM NOW until FOREVER. Now that is SIMPLE and guaranteed to get what you want… That there is no longer any AWARENESS of anything to do with this.

    Now read the formula 100 times. Heck, write it DOWN 100 times… more if need be ’til you are sooooo crystal clear about what to do.

    Then NEVER EVER go against the formula. Apply with 100% consistency, no matter how frequently or how intensely the unwanted thoughts comes.

    The greater the intensity, the greater your WILL is to hold attention AWAY.

    DO IT and you will be rid of this forever.

    Write it… 100 times… don’t just read these words…. write it 100 times and then BEGIN IT. DO IT absolutely and resolutely.

    Job done.

    Do it and see.

    1. Hi Mike,
      You write in the formula: “ANY thought of feeling relating to this subject” does that mean I’m not allowed to even think of the method and how I would deal with them if them come back, I just “give no importance-distract” naturally and quickly when they pop up ?

      1. Oh, and you definitely don’t want to be pondering what you would do with an unwanted thought if it comes back. That’s just giving it attention, indirectly. It’s giving it importance.

        If I’m trying to stop thinking about pink elephants, I can’t do that by pondering what I would do if I thought of a pink elephant. All that does is make me think of a pink elephant :-)

        Something either has your attention or it doesn’t. All you need to do is remove attention from the thought, when it pops. Don’t look for it, don’t anticipate it. Just notice it when it pops, and remove attention (ie. no importance/distract).

  11. hi mike,
    just wanted to tell you about my current situation,mike i think i am dealing quite ok with my problem and i am trying to forget it but its not getting out of my mind , i know to ignore them but now there should be a point that they should completely vanish from my mind but the major worry is that i dont think that they can get out of my mind because its like any other habit like i have been biting my nails from my child hood and still do but this habit doesnt bother me but the thing which worries me is how long these thoughts would remain in my mind, mike plz dont get fed up of me i am trying to work on ur advice

    1. If you are worried it will not go, how can it go? That is attention. Not only that — it is attention with FEAR attached — a guarantee that you will be constantly reminded!

      What is the end-state Ahsan…? ponder it. What will your life BE LIKE when you have “won.”

      No arising thoughts, no awareness that there ever was a problem (unless someone was to cause you to remember by asking you about it).

      So go DIRECTLY there. Make it happen. Make the end-condition happen. Do it by quickly removing ATTENTION when your mind tries to go there. Do it by seeing INTO this problem — that it only exists because you continue to fear it, worry about it, pay attention to it.

      To stop biting nails, you first create awareness of the behavior… say by painting foul tasting stuff on your nails. Then a new habit of awareness comes in. Then you can REDIRECT that automatic behavior, the energy behind it, the habit, is redirected AWAY.

      The same is true for unwanted thoughts… awareness, interruption, re-direction… a new habit that completely bypasses the old and redirects the energy behind it when it’s triggered.

      Keep faithful, go directly to the end-state, the FORGETTING of unwanted thoughts by removing attention and importance to them. TRUST the method. It cannot fail if you persist!

  12. hi mike,
    i want to go to that end state as well, but had it been in my control i would have gone there, but alot of disturabances dont really let you settle ,new sort of thoughts keep arising which unsettle me, now i am worried that i might get wasted just because of these thoughts and might be failed in life because i am always disturbed and there is no motivation for me left in my life , hence i am just living just for the sake that i have to pass the time and life will end , mike sometimes i have felt better that state doesnt stay on , mike even i have started feeling that you get disturbed by my mails but u have been a great help thats why i mail you , plz tell me how to live my life now

    1. Hi Ahsan,

      As powerful as attention is, it is only one factor. Thoughts arrive out of your “base mood” and their quality reflects this. You must DO IT ALL. Everything matters. Read and re-read Happy Guide until you are crystal clear. That is how to live your life. It is the FOUNDATION of a happy life.

      Put your attention THERE. The answer is THERE. See your lifestyle blueprint with exceptional clarity and move into that. The answers are SIMPLE but you MUST pay attention, you must get clear, you must focus on the things that are going to move you forward, you must have faith in that finish-line.

      Read, read, read… get clear and take steps.

  13. hi mike,
    i have had alot of relief over the last few days although today i again felt really disturbed , apart from your advices other things also helped me like ( telling my self can religion be changed just by thinking) but i have become more desperate because its like so near yet so far kind of a situation, mike some times i also think of going to a psychiatrist but i am hesitant because then i also have to tell my family about it and they wont understand it and the psychiatrist would also not do any magic or would he ?, if these are really the only techniques , is there really a need to go there because i dont want to go there as money matters them more , plz guide me what i should do now as you have really guided me in difficult times ,plz reply

    1. Well, You are reluctant to see a specialist so why not try to continue since you have found relief. Relief means right direction and direction is everything. What you must do is persist with faith and drop the whole problem. As well as this, look after all the other lifestyle elements in Happy Guide. Specialist help is always going to be there if you need it and that thought can comfort you but for now, why not continue?

      Drop the whole problem, stop trying to think a way out. More thinking won’t help… remember the end-state… “no thoughts arise to do with this” so how can more thinking help? Whatever comes… no importance, distract… WHATEVER COMES. Let it go.

  14. so i dont require a doctor right? and i also think that it might get more complicated by even thinking of going there but the problem is that sometimes the thoughts dont let me handle my self??

  15. I am holding your desire for you Ahsan. I know what you want. You can release everything, you can let go. I have it. I will not let go of it… you can let go. plz elobrate whole of this i didnt understood what u meant?

    1. Ah ok… You have this “perceived” problem that isn’t real in the sense that if I could wave a magic wand and stop you thinking about this, nothing bad would happen at all. You would remain in your religion and never question it.

      So I want you to do that. Never question it. But you cannot because you think there is a problem… and there is… but only in your thought habits. I need you to be in a place where you can release and you can’t do that if you still think there’s a problem.

      So I say “I have your problem here” “I know what you want and won’t let you forget it” That way you know I am holding your desire — I won’t let what you fear happen because I will check up on you. So now you are free to let go.

      Anything that prevents you from releasing must be addressed. You must be free to let go.

      I’m saying “I have your fear right here Ahsan and I will keep my eye out… you don’t have to.” “Trust me… you can forget it.”

      You see?

      Are you free to let go? If not, why are you holding on? What is stopping you let go?

  16. hi mike,
    i know these thoughts are not real and there is some problem with my thinking procedure but what ever it is the bottom line is that they have ruined my life , after all i am a human and when these thoughts keep lingering 24/7 you are bound to get disturb , i think i have done my best to ignore them and at times i have felt relieved but i may be a weak hearted person i still get disturb because its not easy to ignore and distract every time, i am getting more desperate now because i have had the solutions and had good results but i dont know what i do wrong that they get back ?
    i know it would be frustrating for you but now i am in state of hopelessness ,plz reply mike ,thnx

    1. Stop caring that they come back otherwise they will never go. You make a big big deal out of it, you feel hopeless… try indifference and distract. You say “I have had the solutions and and had good results” well that is cause for hope no? As I said, direction is everything and you only needed to keep going in that direction using the same method.

      Every time you fall into despair you ramp it all back up and empower it with meaning.

      Read this whole post and comments over and over… it will crystalize things in your mind, it will draw the desire and will to follow through. It’s no good me repeating all this when it’s already written. Put the energy in to get yourself out. Get clear, get resolute and end this using the very simple method.

      They come back because habits are very subtle and are triggered in very subtle ways but that need not distrurb you because you have the power of yes or no. You have the power of choice and you choose with your attention.

      The fight is for your ATTENTION. Don’t fight the thoughts, that empowers them, fight for your attention.

      It’s simple… whatever is unwanted… be indifferent, give no importance, distract — rivet attention elsewhere.

      And alter the MOOD out of which thoughts arrive by changing your lifestyle and lifting your mood.

      OCD sufferers always want me to talk them around — to get them to a place of clarity and resolve. But it’s impossible for me to do that for each and every person. That’s why we’ve done this Ahsan. You need to read what has already been said over and over if you need a will-power injection.

      There’s no new information — it’s all in Happy Guide. That’s the big picture of how to be happy — all the ways that WORK together. distraction is only a part and as powerful as it is, as you have seen, the best results come from doing it all.

      You have all the solutions now Ahsan, and they are very simple. Difficult AT FIRST but effortless AT LAST because our brains are wired for habits. Create habits that have the outcome of health, create habits that step back from thinking and wow, the difference is night and day to how you feel.

      Resolve to do it calmly, keep reading what I’ve written… in Happy Guide, in this post. There’s no new information Ahsan, you have all you need. Now put it to work consistently, be totally clear and you will stop ramping it all up again. Go straight to the finish line by being CONSISTENT.

      Good luck!

  17. Your writings are excellently condensed and of the utmost value particularly when I have done a vast amount of reading concerning the issue of uncontrollable, abhorrent thoughts that prevent me from eating without acquiring indigestion (severe). It’s difficult to understand why you feel that meditating would better enable me to control stray thoughts. Is there no workbook that would take me through this vital beginning pattern of control over my obsessiveness? Thank you so very much. George

    1. Hi George,

      Work book… yes there is. Happy Guide has everything you need to know and do. And we can help you with questions about putting it into practice and how to apply it to your situation once you’ve read it.

      All the best,
      Mike

  18. hey mike kinnaird, you’re such a smart and amazing person. your article made me realize what i was doing before on how to deal my unwanted thoughts was not healthy and right for me. but now i found the right solution and methods from your article. now i know that it is simple but needs consistency to give it no importance (a don’t care attitude) i really learned a lot. thank you so much! :)

  19. Thanks Lorenz, you’re very welcome. Don’t care, yes. It’s so easy to trip up over that one and most people do — giving meaning to stuff they don’t want. Good luck — let me know how you get on.

  20. hey mike i thought this article was published a very long time ago and thought you’re not gonna able to respond, but you did respond and thanks for that. uhm to be honest what i experienced these past days were like on and off. but i know i am gonna be okay, and one thing i dont know if still gonna ask something, because everything written here is what i need which is good i just need to read it.

  21. hey mike, i just wanna share something to you.but i think i will make it short because it will be to long if i will give all the details.

    here it goes. uhm before variety of unwanted thoughts are/were distracting me for many years. there were so many of them! as in many! and i couldnt stop thinking of it or get those thoughts out of my head. but now, i think i really know. and definitely know how to solve this issue because of this article and the answers you respond to all the people you helped. it made things clear. i know i will be okay soon, maybe very soon or even after i wrote this. Man thank you again so much, may God bless you. :)

    1. That’s really wonderful to hear Lorenz, let me know how things pan out for you, and if you’re ever confused, come back and read all the articles and comments to get clear again.

  22. “no importance — distract. The solution is to notice it, let it be, let it go and choose a different focus. Ignore thoughts you don’t want and hold onto thoughts you do want.”

    there are one that you wrote. mike i am confused, is it i wil give no importance then distract myself to other things? and one more thing would i notice it or ignore?? i am sorry if i kinda really confused. help mike

  23. mike i’m from Philippines. i think i would like to buy your book too. but i dont think its available here??. and one thing mike, i just rent in a computer shop that’s why sometimes i take so long to get back to you and tell how’s it going.

    1. Hi Lorenz,

      These are all the same in different words :-) It’s about the meaning and attention you give. Attention makes thoughts grow.

      So… have a don’t care attitude and bring your mind back to what you are doing, which means ignore. Ignore = don’t care + attention elsewhere. Hope this clarifies things for you.

      The Book Depository will ship to the Philippines and has free delivery.

  24. thank you mike for making me easy to understand that, because sometimes when I’m stressed out, simple things make me find it confusing or difficult. hehe :-) and yes this clarifies things for me. thank you again so much………… :-)

  25. Hi, Mike. I am having a similar problem as above. In junior high I used to lock doors all the time. I have always been anxious, but lately- the last 2 months- it has gotten way out of hand. I read the first chapter of Happy Guide and plan to order book. Anyway, my thoughts are also religious in nature and it is to the point of interrupting everyday life. Do you recommend I just keep trying your methods more and the ones in the book when I get it, or should I also see a psychologist and/or religious minister?

    1. Hi Karen, guidance can be helpful to reach the point of letting go if you aren’t there yet. You first need to be able to see that what you want is for the thoughts to not be there at all, what I call “deconstructing beliefs.” If you’re at that point, then all you need to do is consistently ignore all thoughts and feelings about it. Feel free to ask more questions here if you need clarity. Happy Guide is the complete solution to all chronic health problems including psychological ones, because our bodies and minds work as a whole, so we need to get our whole lifestyles working for us, body and mind. Correcting JUST psychology only works if that is the only factor out of place.

    2. Oh, I meant to say; a magnesium supplement is worth considering for any kind of anxiety problem. Chronic anxiety can really leave us magnesium deficient so that’s worth looking into. You can get a magnesium RBC test.

  26. Thanks a bunch, Michael! I am in the process of reading the book. I started out today by trying to eat healthier and trying to learn to live in the now. I think that is often difficult for people like me who daydream alot and often live in the past or worry about the future. Anxiety, for some reason, seems to run in my family. I also have an autoimmune disease so I know eating better will benefit me. Thanks again.

    1. That’s great Karen. Let me know your thoughts about the book and also if you have any questions. Autoimmune diseases definitely need a “human foods only” approach, especially removing grains with the possible exception of white rice. If you find yourself worrying, try asking yourself “What can I actually do?” If nothing, then you could set it for review so you can let it go now. If you do this with every worry then you will end up with a to-do list and a review date and freedom from worry. Of course it’s also a habit to worry, and we change that by repeatedly pulling our attention off, asking the question and letting it go. New habit.

    2. Worry is not always a bad thing. Our minds show us what we perceive as a potential problem. That is a good thing, but we must turn that into action, make a decision about it or set for review so it’s effectively dealt with and doesn’t just keep repeating. If we have lots of unresolved worries like this it becomes a big impediment to our happiness.

  27. Hi Mike! I’m really confused right now. I read your articles about a week ago and i knew for sure what i would have to do – “no importance-distract”. Then every morning i wake up and i think “I have to apply this method every single time i think about this subject” and more than once has that thought followed me all day. It’s like a mission to me, something i always have to remind me to do. And that is giving attention to the thought – which i shouldn’t have. I really really need your advices! Thank you so much!
    P/s: I am so sorry for my grammar!

    1. Hi Jef, I’m James, Mike’s brother and partner on Happy Guide.

      Yes, this is the problem isn’t it? Our minds are usually over-active and have a great deal of momentum. This is most people’s “normal” mode. In this state, it’s hard to stop thinking, even about the solution :-)

      So we need to quieten our minds, get back to stillness, our natural state where thoughts pop in isolation and we have the full ability to think “on purpose.” Listening/meditation is important for getting back to this state — but so is the rest of our lifestyle. Removing causes of stress, setting a relaxed pace in our lives, getting rid of “stuff” in our mental attic, eating right, sleeping right, exercising. It all matters. All this affects our ability to drive our mental car, as opposed to being dragged along by our thoughts.

      In the moment, the aim is to do nothing. Don’t think about the solution, just do nothing — awareness is all you need. You’re not looking for the thought, you’re not thinking about if the thought will come, you’re just aware, present. Then, when the thought pops, you notice it and quickly, naturally divert your attention away, back to what you were doing. Just as you would with any thought that is irrelevant or meaningless to you. Your ability to do this depends on your overall state, and therefore your overall lifestyle. I highly recommend reading the book for all the details of getting back to our natural state. It only takes about an hour:

      https://happy.guide/book

      In the meantime, just try to stay present, aware. Then when the thought pops, calmly distract away. If you find it hard to stay “present” and centered enough to do this, as I say, the book will help you — and I would definitely start a listening/meditation habit as a first step. Hope this helps Jef :-)

      Best wishes,
      James

  28. Hi James, “there is no need to think about the method” does that mean I should “give it no importance, distract” whenever I’m aware of a thought about the method ?

      1. Thinking about the method is not a problem to me but I’m afraid that as long as I continue to think of the method this much, the unwanted thought would never leave me because thinking of the method is attention to the unwanted thought :-(

      2. Well, I didn’t want to say that and create the association myself. But now you’ve said it, yes, you can distract from thoughts about the method too. Please start a meditation habit Jef, it will really help. Over time, it will become easier and easier to control your own mind and the focus of your attention. It’s a bit like a stormy sea returning to a calm stillness. Please don’t ignore the other five lifestyle elements either. They all affect our overall state.

  29. I am really clear about what to do now. Thank you so much! I’m having a really hard time and all your guides give me hope. Thank you! And good night! :-)

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