When you feel happy for no reason, you don’t feel separate or lonely, and there’s no sense of lack. So you stop trying to fill emptiness with stuff.
“First off, I just wanted to let you know that you’ve helped me so much with anxiety in the past. I almost never have any anxious feelings or symptoms anymore, and when I do feel them arise, I always know how to handle it. So thank you so much. You changed my life.
Lately though, I’ve been feeling rather anxious about a job interview I have coming up. I’ve been preparing for it, but my heart races just thinking about it. I really want the job I’m interviewing for, but I’m nervous I’ll panic during the interview, since I’m already feeling this anxious. Do you have any tips for staying calm during interviews? I can’t really distract myself from this one. I know mindset is important, but I don’t know how to boost my confidence for the interview.
I’ve googled tips, but I just appreciate and value your advice so much, so I’m hoping you’ll help.”
When something means a lot to you (high stakes) and you can’t control it, that is a stressful mindset. So a better mindset reduces the stakes and increases your feeling of control.
Reduce stakes by reframing what this interview means to you. E.g…
“It’s great that I am really clear about what I want, and it could be this one or another one. I am just in this ’til I find it or it finds me. And I will KNOW when it’s right because it will feel right.”
Whatever gives you a feeling of empowerment. You have to find the truth for you that feels good, because the truth always feels good, not stressful. So the perfect reframe will feel good and right to you.
Now you need to focus on it until it crystallizes… clear and bright and big, so that if the old idea comes, you can easily recall the new truth and make that bigger. So if the old idea comes that is simply a trigger to refocus on the new idea.
Do all this, you can’t fail. This job or who knows what is around the corner. When you are clear, relaxed and focused it has to be — and soon.
PS Let me know how it goes. I am unconcerned about whether you get the job or not, but rather if you felt relaxed and confident in the process. That is the win. It does not matter whether you end up with this particular job or not. TRUST that the RIGHT job will happen. Isn’t that relaxing? If you make it “it has to be this” then the stress makes it less likely you will get it anyway. Ironic.
Do you have any advice on bereavement?
In our natural environment we faced real dangers, such as lions. The instinct to harm here is obvious — part of the “fight or flight” response. You either fight the danger or run away.
In our modern environment, we can still very easily feel stressed and “under attack,” even if it’s not in the literal sense of the word. And so, when this primitive mechanism is triggered, suddenly you have these thoughts, or instincts, to harm someone — even someone you love. Continue reading
This is a video of cancer conqueror Chris Wark chatting to Healthy at 100 and Diet for a New America author John Robbins.
If you need inspiration to change your diet for the better, this is great to watch, they cover a lot of bases here.
“What are your thoughts on trauma release exercises (TRE)? Have you done them? Apparently our bodies hold trauma even from years ago, which puts a person in a constant flight/fight/freeze state, always very alert and sensing ‘danger.’ With TRE the body releases the energy held up in it from trauma. Would love to hear your thoughts on it.”
I haven’t done any of those exercises myself, but I’ve heard a few health teachers talk highly of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), tapping certain points on the body to release old emotional stuff.
Traumatic events can certainly have powerful spin offs and we hold the sense of danger to prevent repeats, quite naturally. I do think there is great value in thinking about what you fear in a way that allows you to really let it go, to see it has no value to keep looking for it.
In other words, use intelligence to trump the lizard brain. These mechanisms are good for preventing say repeat lion attacks, back when our ancestors evolved in nature, but the same mechanisms can be dysfunctional in modern life. Continue reading
After 25 years researching health and happiness, the idea that a disease state is caused by lack of a single neurotransmitter in the brain seems ludicrous.
Human biochemistry is incredibly complex with countless interacting processes mediated by genetics and lifestyle factors. The serotonin hypothesis of depression is really a house of cards with no foundations.
I see this idea floating around the web, especially on social media a lot. Is happiness really a choice? If you’re depressed are you really choosing that state willingly? It kind of reminds me of the type of advice depressed people used to get all the time — “just snap out of it,” or “pull yourself together.” As if. If a depressed person were to see this idea, I think it would make them feel worse not better. Continue reading