You worry about how to talk to people — what you will say, how they will react and so on…
Let go of this as a problem. Stop worrying about it, stop thinking about it. When someone is talking, simply listen. Give them all your attention. The right words will come if you stay relaxed and don’t become tense.
If you think of this as a problem you’ll automatically become tense and then you can’t be spontaneous.
It’s all about awareness — of what they are saying, of what you are feeling as a result, of how you are reacting. Awareness alone changes things…
Getting into a regular meditation habit will make a huge difference… Meditate by focusing on what you’re doing and being aware of every thought that pops. You will begin to notice shifts in how you relate and how people relate to you.
If you stay relaxed and open, people will be open with YOU. If you have judgements, false identifications, problems, tensions, people will be judgemental and tense around you…
How people talk to you and act around you is largely dictated by what you have allowed them to be in the past, what you are allowing them to be now. Allow them to be anything they choose.
In time, you will find you do not REact to anything but ACT. This is the ultimate freedom. Reaction is just habit, ego. Action is freedom, choice.
For over 20 years now I have found meditation to be the cure for ego — the core dysfunction. Thinking, which should rightly be a simple function like walking, has become a monster.
Like most “problems” we have there is no quick fix. Very rarely is there a single “pill for your ill” — one single remedy, because everything affects everything else. The solution is to put yourself right in all areas. Your relationships will get better when you get better.
Put the causes of health and happiness in place, be the best you can be. Change yourself and your relationships and everything else will follow.
Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
Read Chapter 1 “The Happiness Secret”
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