Trisha writes…
“I feel life is passing me by, and I have accomplished little, even down to the ordinary everyday things and I feel I have lost the zeal and zest out of life.
I feel that I need to wake up and use my life and talents, although I feel I do not have any talents either — I just drift into each new day and accomplish nothing different from week to month to year on a continuous basis.
And I just get so annoyed with myself and take it out on those of my family, which is so unfair. I have no focus, goal, challenge, as each of these require time and money to join, and be involved in activities which I cannot afford, well only very few if I push myself. I take on courses with great zeal and then after a few weeks into it, any excuse and I will lose heart in what once was something I loved.
Why does this happen me? Sometimes I think ‘What is my life about?’ Where is it all going? Will I feel like this in 10yrs time?
I’m in my early 40s now and wish I had a dream, something of my own to attend to. I am envious of those who have the will power and motivation to change themselves.
I have all the books, on diet, food, health, positive thinking and still feel low self esteem and that people don’t find me interesting or want to become my friend — even though I have put myself out there, done the classes, am friendly, warm and kind.
But I do not tend to attract the same like minded people. I would really love to have a few good, trustworthy, loyal people in my life that I could be myself with, warts and all — and be accepted for my own personality and not compared to others which happens all the time. I am my own worst critic of myself. I would love to hear from you about all this.”
There’s a very true saying… “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone!” People want to be around happy people because we all affect each other with our “vibe” in very powerful ways. So people want to be with people that make them FEEL GOOD.
So, as always, your desire, focus and energy should rightly be behind BEING HAPPY. What does it matter how many classes you go to, how much you desire good friends if nothing about you changes? This is about YOUR FEELINGS first and foremost. YOU have to FEEL GOOD before you can cause others to feel good. And then you’ll be very popular because you’ll be a joy to be around.
You may well have all the diet and health books sitting on your shelf but how has that translated into ACTION, consistent action — good habits?
Seriously throw all these other books away because they have achieved nothing, and read Happy Guide, which is all about action — the consistent actions, habits, that will get you to a place of feeling good IF you commit to it.
I will happily answer any questions you have about putting Happy Guide into practice, but first you need to read it — it’s short — only takes about an hour to read it cover to cover. And then you’ll be in no doubt what the causes of “FEEL GOOD” are. Then you will be truly empowered because you will know the truth about happiness.
Everything spins out from HAPPY
Get happy FIRST, then good things will happen in your life. Happy first — focus there with as much energy and focus as you can muster. Step one — read the guide.
And Trisha, I think it’s true that what we feel the world is withholding, we should give. So you can make sure that you are a trustworthy and loyal friend to those close to you, and fully accepting of everyone as they are. If you really think about it, can you say that’s true now?
Also, look at your thinking, WHAT you are thinking and holding as truth… yes you should think positively, but only when negativity comes. Your default state should be “no-mind,” just an alert awareness of what appears in your mind. If that is negative; “My life is a mess,” “I’m useless,” “What’s wrong with me?” “Everyone hates me,” then you need to tell a new truth about these things… substitute a positive thought, or at least see they are “not true.”
Just SEEING negativity for what it is, not identifying with thoughts, takes the sting out of them. Because when you really LOOK at these thoughts, you see them for what they are.
When you’ve read Happy Guide, you’ll be very clear about what matters and so you’ll be able to use all the positive ideas in the guide to counter negativity. “I know what matters — happiness,” “I’m getting happy first, I have direction.”
There’s nothing important that you need to achieve other than happiness — happiness is not a puffed up ego. But happiness creates ripples as you interact with life, with people, and THAT has tremendous value. Even one random act of genuine kindness can deeply affect a person so you can see, that everything you do is making ripples.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
Read Chapter 1 “The Happiness Secret”
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