A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Okay, soooo, I’m playing this survival horror/action game. It’s a great game, and I love it to death. But, I got to this one part that scared me so bad. Normally, if I’m just into it, I yell and shout, but when I’m really terrified, I can’t scream. So, I was sitting there gawking like a moron. LOL I got really mad at first, but then, later that night, I felt terrified again, and started crying! And since it’s a game, you HAVE to react, otherwise, your character will die. So, I took it really hard. I have a mild case of OCD, so when I encounter something like this that scares me so bad, my stupid brain will reply noises, images, even the soundtrack to cause a lot of anxiety. I’ve never been able to handle getting terrified very well. This is the first survival horror game I’ve ever played, and as much as I’ve enjoyed this one, it’ll probably be the only one, because just one part lead me to tears, because I was so scared!
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Hi Kate,
Yes, best not to trigger these reactions if you are sensitive to them. Here’s a couple of articles I think you’ll be interested in…
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Hello.
I always think about the little killer doll Chucky. I did not see the movie but my friends say he is real. I sing a song, and it goes like this. ABC 123 Chucky is my enemy.I cannot help to stop jibber jabbing about it. 2 weeks ago my friend Leanardo brought the grudge to school and they both get on my nerves. I also sleep with the WHOLE light on because of those stupid, scary movies. WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE THESE THINGS?!!? How can they die from my memory?
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Hi Brady,
You say you jibber jabber about it and want to forget it? But talking about it is keeping your attention on it. To forget about something you have to stop caring about it, see it for what it is, a sick movie, and remove attention if the memory pops up. You need to do it consistently, without fail, every time.
So a thought pops, a fear flash, whatever. You remember “just a movie” and put your attention somewhere else.
All this amounts to ignoring every single occurrence of the unwanted thoughts, until they’re gone.
Stop talking about it, stop caring about it, ignore every thought about it.
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I recently just watched a movie about possession and exorsism and there was a part she climbed up the wall now i imagine that the girl is climbing up my wall.
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Hi Tori, follow all the tips and you’ll be fine (“just a movie,” distract).
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How do you get rid of the thoughts if what you saw happened in real life?
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Hi WeeKiwi7,
If you are clear that you don’t want the thoughts, i.e. they are not helping, and you’ve done all that can be done, then remove meaning and attention every time a thought comes… you notice it, see it has no value, put attention somewhere else… essentially, ignore.
You always have a choice about what things mean, and what to pay attention to.
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In all honesty, ever since becoming a teenager the only thing that has ever scared me is an enemy type in a Wii game called Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon. I’m fine with all the dark-minded jellyfish-looking things with faces, and ballerinas with thick strings for bodies that kick you, but I really hate how you have to fight LIVING carnivorous animals. LOYAL ones, like boxer dogs. I’m even confused about how the eyes of those things glow in the dark like that. I mean, seriously. A large canine whose eyes glow in the dark. That makes about as much sense as playing 3 rounds of hide-and-go-seek with that damn ghost girl who gives you a key. THAT LITTLE B*TCH KEPT BEING SOMEWHERE ELSE WHEN I THOUGHT I FOUND HER!
Hope this is appropriate, it still gets to the point.
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Hi Aaron… my son is very hardy when it comes to scary stuff, although naturally, I’ve kept him away from sick stuff. He LOVED the Nightmare Before Christmas and watched it when he was about 5 or something and saw it about 10 times. BUT there was a cartoon skeleton in a rubbish episode of Tintin that freaked him out!! He says it’s sinister stuff that does it… things lurking in the shadows.
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