A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Ok Mike, I’ll see what I can do.
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I was recently reunited with another sister, younger than Tiffiny. Her name is Natachea (pronounced like Natasha), and she completes the triplets of one boy and two girls in the Rayner family. We’re all still overwhelmed with joy even though it’s been 3 days already.
Natachea has about the same fears as Tiffiny, but some she’s braver and some she’s more scared. They both have the same amount of emotional sensitivity to darkness and movies, and though they like to stay together to be safe, they still say they need me. I don’t know why, though.
Also, before Natachea and I found out that we were related, she used to be my girlfriend. We used to have some dirty conversations on YouTube, and I think she’s still getting used to the fact that I’m her brother. I’m a little worried, though. Do you think you could make another article based on this last paragraph?
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Hi Aaron, yeah I can do another article. Best thing is to send me an email with as much detail about the problem as is needed to give me the full picture.
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well I just want to say that everyone is telling me its not real and I know its not real but I cant seem to fight it!! :( every time i have a friend over I am usually fine and im fine when its day time, but when its night time or when im with just my mom I think of the movie even though i try to put something else in my head that scary thought is still there. My mom told me that our house is the safest place in the world for me but what I want to know is, if our house is so safe then why does every scary movie have the plot of there own house.?.?. but this has been going on sense December 12th 2011 and its now march 2012 and its been so long and I still think about it and the friends I watched the movie with are back to normal and im still scared out my mind and I know this is really long I apologize, but I just want to know why I am scared because I hate it because now I can barely sit in my room alone and I hate it I just want to be a normal kid where I can watch a scary movie with friends and then be fine afterwards and I want to be able to sit in a room by myself again!!!!! :'( I just want this to be over with, please help and tell me what to do about this!.!.!.!.!.!.!.! thank u so much and I apologize it’s so long.
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Hi Jade, maybe a lot of scary movies are set in “the house” because that’s where you normally feel safest, so they want to say “you’re not even safe there!!” They’re just trying to scare you as much as possible because that’s their job — you signed up for a scare no? :-) But to be honest, they are made to scare adults, so when kids watch, you get scare OVERLOAD! :-) Not good.
Try to think of all these scary movies as just tricks to scare you. It’s like the movie-makers KNOW how to push your scare buttons and they use every trick to do it.
Now with your mom at night, the fear can become linked to that scene — you and your mom, like a habit, so every time it’s just you and your mom, the thoughts come back. So… what you do is to remember the truth — just a silly movie, and then focus on OTHER stuff, like TV, reading, homework or whatever. Now every time a thought comes, remember “just a silly movie” and then put you attention back onto something else. Now, have a don’t care attitude about any thoughts that come and that will gradually tell your mind “this is nothing to me, I’m safe.”
It’s all in the 5 “DO THIS” tips. Read those tips until you’re really, really clear and then just do it and trust me that it’s fine and safe to do it. Then you’ll be able to relax and everything will go back to normal. Keep doing it right all the time without any slip-ups. So I mean… every single thought gets the same treatment and even if you suddenly feel scared, just know that it’s ALL TRICKS, just a movie made on purpose to scare you, there’s no real danger.
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Hi mike you have some very good and interesting ways to help bad thoughts leave people’s minds.
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Hi. My name is Wes and I’m 13 yrs old. Now i don’t watch scary movies hardly ever, mainly because i am not able to sleep very well after i see one. But the ones i have seen have really given me a scare. I have seen 3 different types of scary movies, ill list a couple here: The Crazies, Disturbia, Saw, etc. Something that i have figured out is that watching scary movies does absolutely nothing for you. Ive read a couple of your guys’ stories, and, well, sleeping with your parents at 16, not eating right, its not healthy. Do not watch scary movies, or anything close to scary movies, watch comedy, workout, play non scary video games, anything else with your time. If your in a bad situation right now and you cant sleep, i would recommend getting a waves crashing on the beach soundtrack. Its very soothing, and puts good thoughts in your mind, and before you know it, your knocked out. Also, i used to suffer from night trauma as well. I was about ten, and i had just watched a scary movie. I couldn’t sleep, (and this was like the second week of not sleeping) and i was tired of going to school with only 4 hours in the tank, so i started using a night light again. I know some of you might think it a bit weird, but i only had to use it for a week and i was back on track. If any of this info helps, i was glad to be of assistance.
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Couple of great tips there Wes, thanks, I’ve added them to the article. Mike
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