A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Usually I never get scared. Even if I did, my sister is always more scared than me, so I try to keep her calm. And it comforts me that I can comfort her. If she’s not watching with me, I amuse myself by humming rock bass lines to all the music in the movie. But if she ever joins me to watch a scary movie, she almost strangles me with hugs, and when it’s bedtime, I just pet her on the head and she calmly goes to sleep, and her beautiful, soft long hair soothes my shaky hands, I kiss her goodnight, and we both fall asleep in a really cute hug.
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:-) That’s really sweet Aaron, thanks.
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Okay thank you. I have decided I’m done watching scary movies cause I struggle doing things at night and sleeping. That last scary movie I saw was devil inside. And the main reason I got scared was because it said it was a scary true story
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Hi Bri, read the bit in the article FAQ about these so called “true” stories. They ain’t true, you can safely forget, you’ll come to no harm at all by forgetting so feel free to forget all about it asap. I’m happy you’ve decided to stay away from scary movies. Good choice in my view.
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i try telling myself its just a movie but then i think that the things in the movie will get mad at me if they are real because we dont actually know.
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We do know Victoria… movies are just made up, and scary movies are made to scare you and they’ll use every trick in the book. Trust me, you can safely and confidently ignore every single thought and feeling to do with scary movies with a “don’t care” attitude. If a thought comes that seems important, you can smile at that because they’ve managed to get into your head, using the way you naturally react to things. It’s clever, but sick. Trust me, you can ignore it all and even if a thought seems important, stay consistent in telling your mind “No, it’s not, this is just a trick… it’s really just a silly movie.” Mike
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also scarey movies dont scare me. I have watched rated R movies for a couple years now. I am only 14 and for some reason at night when im trying to sleep all my thoughts come together and i think the worst when ever i hear a noise. I love scarey movies they are my favorite kind of movie. its the ghost stuff that scares me. not in the movie either, just thinking oh my gosh if i looked in the mirror and saw a ghost that would be soooo scarey, and then i am afraid to look in the mirror, and my conscious goes crazy telling me dont look in the mirror, dont look in the mirror, dont look in the mirror…
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Hi Nicole,
I think you need to find other stuff for kicks :-) Having all this sick stuff floating around your unconscious mind is not good in my opinion! Mike
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I didn’t excatly watch a scarey movie to make me feel scared. I hadn’t watched anything scarey today. I need to wake up really early for school tomorrow and it is so late in the night. I just remembered something I saw on tv once about how to dream about someone that you want to see. I wasn’t sure if it would work but i tried it anyway. While I was trying a saw a really scarey face. Which started it all. Then i thought back to something I saw a few years ago. In a move. It was about a ghost, haunting, and you saw the couch that looked like someone sat there but no one was there. While I was laying in bed, I felt the covers move down like someone was sitting down but no one was there. I looked and it actually looked like someone was sitting there! I got so scared, I knew I wasnt going to be able to sleep. But while I felt the covers sinking down I kept telling myself it was just in my mind but it didn’t work. I really need to get to sleep and I have no idea what to do. I always sleep with the tv on so that I have something to concentrate on to keep away the scarey thoughts I always think about when I am trying to sleep. But for some reason tonight it hasn’t worked. I have no idea what to do and if I told my mom, I think she would just give me a funny look and say, “Okay?” :(
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Hi Nicole,
This is a good example of “attention is the volume control for thoughts.” What we pay attention to grows, what we remove attention from dies away. It’s also a good example of the power of what you feed your mind. So you gave attention to something, an idea, then that triggered a memory of a scary thing… and so it grows on :-) And then the scary thing triggers an anxious state, your body changes to “fight it flight” and then your truly “off on one.”
So really, you must do the opposite… feed your mind with positive stuff, stuff that makes you feel good, feel safe. You must learn the power of attention and learn to choose where to put it. And all of this stuff will apply to so many things in your life and make it so much better.
So, once you’ve gotten yourself into a pickle by paying attention to scary things, follow all the tips in the article, and learn the cause and effect of what you’ve done. And then perhaps decide not to do it again :-)
Mike
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