A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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hi mike, im 11 and i have not seen a scary movie but i read a wiki about a zombie one, at first it said zombies where made form a gas that comes out at night and that scared the crap out of me until i went camping outside. but one day i was surfing the web and came across the same page some how and it said it was updated so i read it (worst idea ever) and now that gas is not needed and a I’m very scared. i can get to sleep after half an hour or so but i need the lights on and like 20 stuffed animals, plz help me
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hi mike,
i dont know if you remember me but my name is jennifer and im having the same problem again, i did not watch a scary movie but i played a scary game. i have a question? Are exmortis real??
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Hi Jennifer, yes I do remember you :-) No, not real… a figment of Ben Leffler’s imagination. Just a game.
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Hello,
I am writing this at 6:30 in the morning which shows just how scared I am.
Just at around 10 through 1 I watched, back to back, both Paranormal Entities and Activities. After that I watched some comedic stuff and even tried to play my xbox to get my mind off of it. I watched TV shows, surfed the web, and have listened to music but whenever I think I am good enough to go to sleep, the images of the final parts of the movies come into my mind. I have even tried to think of happier things such as my girlfriend, or funny moments with my friends, anything. Nothing is working.
What stops me every time is a breeze that goes through my room that makes it feel as though someone is breathing on me. I am planning to wait until daybreak so that I can sleep well with the light.
I have gotten over scarier things but nothing has made me stay up all night before.
I’ve tried the article but it hasn’t worked out for me (maybe I must be doing something wrong.)
Still it is nice to get it off my chest.
I am 15 to clarify my situation.
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Hi Frank…
Hmmm the article says to exercise if you’re really scared and I don’t see that in your list :-) Watching comedy is a great idea… stuff that can distract you for long periods of time AND change your STATE.
It’s not that the article tips don’t work it’s just that it takes time. They certainly don’t work instantaneously but you can’t just switch fear off — it doesn’t work like that. The FASTEST way is to see clearly that there is no real danger, then exercise the adrenaline away and then keep distracted/keep telling your mind “it’s just a movie” when it pops up.
Hope you’re feeling better Frank. ~ Mike
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Hey Mike, you may have noticed this is my second comment here. My first one was about being scared, and this one is now about being fantastic. Saying “STOP” literally helped. The first night I thought it was cheesy, but I scrunched my face and every muscle and just yelled it in my mind, and then released. It took my a few minutes to fall asleep, but its been awhile now and when I think of it, other things distract me, like it’s not even a thought in my mind anymore. Like just simple, and dumb things like I wonder what my friends doing today. That stop just literally pushed the whole thing away. Thanks a lot c:
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That’s fantastic Victoria, thanks for letting us know!
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Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I really appreciate someone being out there and posting everything I needed to know. I am thirteen and usually i just watch action movies. Sometimes they are a tad scary; but mostly suspenseful. Today I watched an actually scary movie and It scared me so bad I was squeezing the bajeebers out of my cat and now I feel so bad because not she is staring at me wide eyed, like I’m a freak, in the corner. I was so terrified that I locked all doors, windows, shut all the shutters, blinds, everything. Haha well, thanks so much for helping me. ((FOR ALL OTHER VIEWERS, I’VE FOUND IT HELPFUL TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT IT AND LAUGH ABOUT HOW STUPID IT WAS TO BE SO SCARED. haha
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Hi Madi!
Thanks for your funny cat story :-) Good to laugh yes because it tells your mind “this isn’t important at all, just a movie.” ~ Mike
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