A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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thanks ill try it tonight
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Mike, im 12 and its mostly at night and i cant exercise at night and i swear im crazy or posessed cuz i start shaking and my eyes boggle and laugh like a hyena and its scarred literally in my head just check out the picture
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Hi Ari,
Okay then it’s a matter of making a big effort to keep your mind off it at night. Get into bed 10 or 20 minutes before lights out and read a light-hearted book. Then listen to relaxing music for a few minutes before going to sleep and when you shut your eyes, try to feel your feet tingling. Keep attention in your feet. With all 3 activities, if the scary thoughts come, have a “don’t care” attitude and return your attention back to reading/listening/tingling feet. Keep doing this every night.
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Ever since my friend showed me the scary maze game i feel like someone will kill me and it seems to be stuck in my mind and now i tremble and turn most lights i see on and am very VERY paranoid please fix this.
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Hi Ari,
The tips apply to scary games too. If you’re REALLY scared, you need tip 1 from the “do this” list right away. Keep exercising until you’ve got rid of all the adrenaline then go watch some funny TV shows with friends.
Follow all the tips Ari and stay consistent in applying them.
Mike
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Howdy, I really feel ashamed to write here because I am a lot older than these guys and I know it’s pathetic but lately, as of two days ago I can’t settle at night again. I am a very anxious person and I worry about almost everything and when I watch a horor movie it tends to become real for me and that is what is happening now, even though I haven’t seen that movie for years and never intend to watch it again even the mere mention of it makes me anxious hence my prolems tonight, I was surfing the net and someone happened to mention the movie (The Grudge) Even typing it makes me feel terrified, which is just pathetic. But after reading what it was mentioned in I cannot settle at night, during the day I can keep these images of the horrid face and the noises at bay but at night it useless, I have a wild imagination so I can basically SEE that horrid thing in my Aunt’s house and I find myself second guessing my sanity as I know it’s movie but if feels so real. I can’t keep going on like this but I cannot seem to find peace no matter what I do. I am sorry to bother you with this but stupidly don’t think I can cope with this anymore.
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Hi Alex,
The tips in the article are your front-line against this but you could do with tackling the general fear volume in your life. You are clearly a sensitive person and there’s nothing to feel sorry for about that. Sensitivity is a great gift and means you have an ability to see and feel more deeply and so help people. But it also means problems like this come up. Sensitive people really need to limit exposure to stuff like horror and news because of the deep empathy that is possible.
There’s lots you can do to turn your general fear volume down — lifestyle stuff like quality sleep, diet, relaxation, meditation and yoga. When you get your lifestyle nailed and learn to run your brain, you’ll be able tp choose very powerfully what you are paying attention to.
So I recommend you get into the best habits, and then continue to give no importance and distract away when your get fear flashes from the movie. Be indifferent when they come, in faith that they mean nothing and can safely be let go of.
Have a solid routine at bedtime. Bath, read, listen to calming music, sleep.
And of course, as a sensitive person, be very careful what you feed your mind.
Good luck Alex, let me know how things go.
Mike
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