A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Also, my brother is 20 & he thinks I have PTSD post tramatic stress something or whatever. I don’t want this video to ruin my life. My mom thinks it’s nonsense to go to a therapist… Help me please :'(
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Hey Mike, I am 14 years old, & about a week ago I watched this video [moderated]. The movie scared me half to death, I just don’t feel like eating anymore… I’m always depressed feeling during the day. But at night I play xbox with my friends and I feel better. But then in the daytime I’m sooo sad & depressed because I feel bad for the guy, I know it’s real though, & it’s only makes it worse when people tell me it’s not, I live in fear also. I feel the need to bring something with me to protect me. But I just wish these thoughts or images from the video will go away, they always come right back when I forget about them. I don’t want this to ruin me :( please, I’d appreciate you if you’d help me. Well this feeling go away over time because my brain is in protective mode?
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Hi Chelsea… Have a good read of the article and all the comments because the info you need is already written. Please let me know if there’s anything you’re not clear on. This will go away yes, if you do the right things. Make sure you’re clear about what the right things are. ~ Mike
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Actually Chelsea, scrap that idea, there are too many comments and some not so helpful…. just read the answer I gave to CJ just a couple of comments from the bottom… that will set you on the right track and I’ll say more tomorrow. ~ Mike
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Hi again Chelsea,
I think your brother is right… these frightening images and fear is a kind of post traumatic stress. As sad as it is that bad things happen, it doesn’t help you or anyone else to focus on it… it helps you and everyone you connect with if you think happy thoughts and stay happy. So just decide you will forget it and be patient with yourself if fear flashes come. Just let them go and refocus every time on what you’re doing right now, take your mind away and don’t dwell.
If you keep telling your mind that there’s no danger by staying calm when a fear flash comes, your mind will gradually stop reminding you.
The keys to forgetting are “no importance” and “distract.” So it’s really simple… when a fear flash comes, have the right attitude of no importance and then distract away. Do this every single time and the frequency and intensity will die away until these thoughts stop coming.
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thanks
that really helps
you guys rock
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Hi Mike I watched the most discusting movie tralior and im not going to say the name because i dont want anyone else emotionaly scared like me. This was so gross and i watched it in February in my room at night and I didnt get to sleep till 2 and now its May and im still thinking about it and i dont know why. My mom didn’t know about this till a month ago. I cant get sleep. I’m sad and I’m not me anymore and i want to me me again and why am I not better? And why is it that when some people watch it they walk away but when i see it im scared for life?
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Hi CJ,
Thanks for writing in. The first thing to understand is that our minds react to what we see as danger — whether it’s real or a movie. We can feel fear, be petrified and our bodies can change state to what’s called “fight or flight.” It’s a state your body goes into to save your life, and was the perfect response back in the days when dangers were more things like lions roaming about :-) In the modern world, these reactions operate in ways that aren’t really helpful to us.
If we see something and it disturbs us, we can also give it importance and meaning. The combination of feeling danger and giving it importance, means it keeps coming into our minds over and over. If it was a real danger, like a lion, this helps keep our attention on the real problem and is helpful until the danger is passed.
So all this that is happening to you is normal and natural but… it’s not helpful because there is no real danger… it was just a movie trailer that triggered these natural responses in you. Now if you dwell on it, keep thinking about it, it just keeps getting bigger and brighter in your mind. You also get very good at recalling disturbing images into your mind and creating new thoughts etc and the whole thing grows which has happened to you.
So that’s “what’s happened” and we must now reverse everything so you can be yourself again and be happy. What we need to aim for is that you FORGET all about it. First thing is to really understand, that although you may feel scared, there is NO DANGER at all, it’s just a movie. And it’s not important at all… the movie is just the result of some film maker’s sick imagination. Just a movie. Once you can see that and understand it you are now free to let it go because there’s no danger at all… just your mind reacting instinctively to images that trigger primitive responses.
OK… now just decide “I’m not thinking about this any more.” Your aim is to just keep your mind OFF the whole thing. The thing is that when you decide to drop it, thoughts will still come back for a little while but stay really CLEAR and do the same thing everytime…. remind yourself “Just a movie,” have the attitude “I don’t care” and take your mind onto something else…usually bring it back to what you are doing right now.
If the thoughts are “all over you” then go read a book or watch funny videos or see your friends. You can also RIVET your attention onto some object to stop thoughts coming and break the cycle of one thought triggering another, then another and so on.
In a nutshell, your mission is to not give even a teeny bit of attention to this anymore. As soon as you spot a thought coming to do with this, rivet your attention AWAY. Just keep doing it and very soon you will get to the wonderful stage where you have FORGOTTEN all about it.
Without your ATTENTION, thoughts die away CJ. Attention is like the volume control for thoughts. More attention and importance, thoughts increase. Less attention, less importance, they die away. This means YOU HAVE THE POWER to drop it, to get rid of it… you have CHOICE.
Be extra careful at bedtime to keep your mind off by having a solid routine… bath, read, listen to relaxing music… sleep. When you close your eyes, try to feel your feet tingling… again this helps keep your mind away. Keep doing this simple routine every night and very soon you’ll be confident and not scared to go to bed, confident your mind is free and then we move into forgetting completely.
CJ, even disturbed sleep over these months is enough to make you feel sad because sleep is one of the most important things to help us keep feeling good. If you add to that constant thinking about disturbing “danger” thoughts, then it’s really no surprise that you feel sad.
But you can turn this around right away by deciding “no more.” You have the power because you can choose where to put your attention. Start to “not care” anymore about all this then rivet attention away when thoughts pop up… can be like a game… the more you keep your mind off, the more you win :-)
OK CJ, I think that’s enough to be getting on with. Stay consistent with this and I guarantee you will get back to your happy self in the fastest time.
Write back and let me know how you’re getting on.
Mike
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Mike you are a saint seriously I watched the trailer of a scary movie and it scared me then i used ur tips and viola! i felt all better are you a sicologist you should be! Also watch funny videos on youtube it helps.
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Hi Anna. Wonderful :-) It’s true that the quicker you see something in your mind as unwanted and take action, the easier it is to get rid of it… worth remembering :-) Good for you that you nipped it in the bud. Well done!
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