Quantum leap or baby steps?

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 4 Comments
Baby steps, small changes
© Bill G

Sometimes it’s better to take a quantum leap (big change) and sometimes baby steps.

99% of the time though, baby steps are better.

That’s because your ability to follow through depends on your level of commitment.

Thinking about where you are right now — how committed are you? How much “backlash” are you willing to take?

If the answer to that is “not much” then baby steps are the way to go. If there’s no urgency to change, baby steps can still take you to a happy and healthy place, with very little in the way of discomfort.

It amazes me how time flies — the weeks go by quickly! If you make a little change each week then it soon mounts up… Continue reading “Quantum leap or baby steps?” →

The best habit?

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 2 Comments
Listening, girl in field
© Egor Gribanov

I’ve been meaning to write something about this for a long time so here we go. Now this isn’t set in stone but it’s what I’m thinking at the moment. The best habit in the whole world EVER could well be…

LISTENING

And what I mean by that is “the perpetual awareness of the space in which thought happens.”

Most of us think WAY too much to be happy. If we’re lost in thought, we lose the present moment and hence our joy of life… Continue reading “The best habit?” →

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes…

~ James Riddett ~ 2 Comments
© Wenabell

…that way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes ;-)

But of course, there’s actually a great ol’ lesson for life in this saying. It’s worth remembering that most of the time, when people in your life annoy you, they’re not doing it deliberately.

Everyone has their own issues and problems going on and there are a thousand and one reasons why someone may react badly to you for no apparent reason…

It’s a great idea to appreciate — as much as you can — where that person is coming from. You’ll find it’s very rarely about you…

If you get defensive, jump in and start criticizing, you’ll quickly descend into an ego-driven row that no-one benefits from.

Understanding where the other person is coming from, and also appreciating their current circumstances (eg. tired, stressed, malnourished) is a great way to avoid conflict… Continue reading “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes…” →

The secret to effective cardio

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 5 Comments

If you’re trying to get fit, you need to know that your workouts are effective. You can do this by monitoring the intensity…

Either by watching how hard you’re breathing, monitoring heart rate or by going by how hard you feel you’re working (Perceived Rate of Exertion – PRE).

Monitoring your heart rate is the simplest and most effective way to make sure that the exercise you’re doing is at the right intensity for you. The other two are more subjective methods that rely on judgments. For example, a common maxim is to train so you’re slightly out of breath — so you can still just about talk but not sing :-) Continue reading “The secret to effective cardio” →

Why is there so much suffering in the world?

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 13 Comments
Why so much suffering in the world?
© Dhammza

Last night I was researching — like I do, a lot.

I was looking again at cancer — the causes, the solutions. Again it was crystal clear to me the enormity of human suffering as well as the enormity of the obstacles that face us.

Behind closed doors is where all this suffering takes place…

Families torn apart by children with cancer, folks unable to move from their bed because of obesity, massive rates of depression.

An astonishing 1 in 4 Americans suffer mental illness.

It all makes me so sad because 99% of all this suffering is totally avoidable and POINTLESS. If it has a point, it could be that it shows us where we’re going wrong but we sure are slow to wake up to the facts… Continue reading “Why is there so much suffering in the world?” →

How to get rid of fear and scary thoughts after watching a scary movie

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 440 Comments
Just a movie…

A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.

So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.

I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…

Know this:

  1. You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
  2. YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
  3. You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
  4. Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
  5. Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine! Continue reading “How to get rid of fear and scary thoughts after watching a scary movie” →

Health is everything

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ Leave a comment
Voice of wisdom, health is everything
© Matteo Parrini

This quote is from a comment made on another website. It’s a beautiful summary of what Happy Guide is about — our philosophy.

This extract from that comment is the voice of experience. The voice of someone who’s learnt the hard way — through trial and error. True words…

“…Eating or exercising a certain way will not give you a healthier body for life unless there are lifestyle habits in place that are sustainable for life… Health is not one thing; it is everything and it starts with a person’s mindset.”

What she means by the second sentence is that everything feeds into health. Everything you do (or don’t do) either contributes to, or takes away from, your health. And that is day after day, year after year… Continue reading “Health is everything” →

I HATE change

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ Leave a comment
© HckySo

“I really hate change — I really REALLY hate change” I heard someone say yesterday.

That’s normal. That’s most people. But why do we dislike it so much?

The reason is that sudden change is unpleasant because we have no map…

Suddenly the rules are unclear, we don’t know how we fit into the new scheme, we are adrift, unsure. And it takes a while to learn the new set-up and become comfy with our place. That’s why most people hate change… Continue reading “I HATE change” →

9 ways to get rid of unwanted thoughts

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 37 Comments

9-ways-to-get-rid-of-unwant

This is about the ongoing saga of my friend who struggles with unwanted thoughts and phobias and has been given the (I think unhelpful) label of OCD.

If you’ve not seen the original unwanted thoughts article then it might be worth checking that out first…

What’s happening as he works through his problem is that actually, his progress goes in spirals — sort of 2 steps forward, one step back type of thing.

His last setback was actually caused by just one late night. Just the lack of sleep for one night has made it more difficult to stay on top. Everything affects everything else… Continue reading “9 ways to get rid of unwanted thoughts” →

A sandpiper to bring you joy

~ Michael Kinnaird ~ 15 Comments
Sandpiper
Sandpiper

by Mary Sherman Hilbert.

Several years ago, a neighbor related to me an experience that happened to her on a beach in Washington State. The incident stuck in my mind and I took note of what she said. Later, the conversation came back to me and I felt I had to set it down. Here is her story, as haunting to me now as when I first heard it:

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.

I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me.

She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

“Hello,” she said…
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

“I’m building,” she said.

“I see that. What is it?” I asked, not really caring… Continue reading “A sandpiper to bring you joy” →