My passion for getting the “lifestyle” message out there and helping people avoid the intense suffering I went through, means I sometimes neglect my own message!
OK it doesn’t happen very often but when it does, the truth of it is brought into sharp relief. We all know the effect of a few late nights combined with poor diet.
It’s really easy to take our eye off the ball and forget that health should be number one — top priority. Healthy living should be the thing at the top of our list of things-to-do… Continue reading “The importance of lifestyle”→
“OK, I tried to do what you say, listen to the thoughts that is. And it’s HARD! Because the mind stream comes back in quickly, in less than a second. I have a very active mind, from the moment I wake up, the chatter starts and goes on and on…
But another thing I noticed is that when I start focusing on the endless thoughts as an outsider, I feel fear. Why fear? And then the thoughts overwhelm me again.
I didn’t mention before, but I was diagnosed with OCD and I had (and still have as a matter of fact) intrusive thoughts, which come in full strength in more stressful times. And they are annoying and tiring, and sometimes I have the impression of losing my mind. And they are scary, I know the trick here is to not be afraid of them, but it’s beyond me. I am afraid, period.
Actually this is how I came across you for the first time, searching about intrusive thoughts, and I found your unwanted thoughts article. I really like your advice and insights, but when it comes to putting them in practice, it’s hard, because I can’t stop being afraid of what these unwanted thoughts are telling me.
Thanks for writing in :-) First thing to get REALLY clear is that lifestyle and meditation as a key part of your lifestyle are the answers.
I’ve been where you are, so I know what it’s like and how hard it is to overcome.
Be sure to follow all the lifestyle guidance in Happy Guide because that’s going to mean your physical health and all factors that could be affecting how your physical brain works are addressed.
For example, food intolerances can affect your thinking so Happy Guide addresses those issues.
For anyone suffering ANY chronic health issue I recommend the no grain/dairy version of the Happy Guide diet which can be gradually relaxed back to the standard Happy Guide diet once you’re well again, provided symptoms don’t return… Continue reading “Feeling fear in meditation”→
Do you keep going around and around the same old stuff in your brain and getting nowhere?
WHATEVER your problems, I can tell you from experience that solving them involves surprising solutions.
When we have problems, the usual response is to change something external, “I need a new x, he needs to stop doing y.”
But what you REALLY need to change is YOURSELF. Then you SEE from a new vantage point, become inspired, intuitive, creative. From your new vantage point, things automatically shift!
So if your life is full of problems and it seems you are going around and around and getting nowhere, frustrated, then change the inner you. When you are HAPPY, when you have abundant ENERGY, imagine how you will SEE things so differently… Continue reading “How to solve your problems”→
What you resist persists. What you push against you give life to, because it’s all about attention.
We have preferences, choices, so choose with your attention. Remove attention from things you don’t want to experience. Resistance just makes them bigger.
If a thought comes to mind you don’t like, don’t try to get rid of it. Simply notice it, let it be, let it go and remove your attention. If a situation NEEDS your attention to get a resolution, then focus on “What’s the desired outcome?” Clarify that.
You can’t get rid of what you don’t want by paying more attention to it.
Mother Teresa was once asked if she would go to an anti-war rally. She said…
“No, but tell me when there is a peace rally and I’ll be there.”
She knew that focus on peace brings peace, focus on war brings war. That’s incredible information when you really ponder it. What are the different feelings in the two scenarios? Anti-war vs. peace? Mother Teresa understood the power of attention and feelings.
If anything comes into your life or your mind you don’t want, then turn attention to its opposite and make that bigger instead — clarify and give life to the positive desire.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
You worry about how to talk to people — what you will say, how they will react and so on…
Let go of this as a problem. Stop worrying about it, stop thinking about it. When someone is talking, simply listen. Give them all your attention. The right words will come if you stay relaxed and don’t become tense.
If you think of this as a problem you’ll automatically become tense and then you can’t be spontaneous.
It’s all about awareness — of what they are saying, of what you are feeling as a result, of how you are reacting. Awareness alone changes things…
Getting into a regular meditation habit will make a huge difference… Meditate by focusing on what you’re doing and being aware of every thought that pops. You will begin to notice shifts in how you relate and how people relate to you.
If you stay relaxed and open, people will be open with YOU. If you have judgements, false identifications, problems, tensions, people will be judgemental and tense around you… Continue reading “How to talk to people”→
Focus on what you’re doing with a quiet mind — always.
This makes EVERYTHING a meditation and this one thing alone will transform your life for the better…
You will begin to trust that the right thoughts will come at the right time and by being expansive, aware and OPEN in this way, you actually ALLOW the right thoughts to come at the right time.
You are always choosing with your ATTENTION, whether that is to external or internal things. And what you pay attention to will grow… like watering seeds. Continue reading “Self mastery”→
“My 5 year old son is constantly challenging my husband and me. He does not listen when I ask him to do something. When I take him shopping with me he constantly runs about the shop, picking things up and dropping them on the floor. When I ask him why he did it, he just says ‘because I wanted to’.
Mass on Sundays is another battle — constant standing, sitting, moving, talking, then roaring, annoying others who want to hear the mass. When someone talks he keeps interrupting, even myself and my husband. When he eats, he drops foods he doesn’t want on the floor and I end up cleaning it up.
I am at the end of my tether with him, I am constantly stressed out over it… If you have any guidance or help I would most welcome it.”
How to get your kids to behave — it’s a problem every parent faces. The answer is good habits… that’s the key to everything.
Get everything you want into good habits so they know and expect what’s coming…
“Talky-time” at bed-time is a great example of a good habit for children. Start with a short story and then talk about the day.
Keep in mind what you want to say to him but don’t force it — let it come in the conversation naturally if you can. Use talky-time to talk about how you feel about the day and get him to talk about how he feels. Over time, this will give you an amazing bond…
Another thing is to tell him IN ADVANCE, the behavior you expect and WHY. Draw up a list of unacceptable behavior and go through it with him so he knows what is expected. Continue reading “How to get your kids to behave”→
For many years I was a mess; struggling to function, struggling to find a way to get healthy.
What you really need when you want to change your life is a new mindset, new ideas, the RIGHT ideas — a crystal clear VISION…
I wanted and needed answers but those answers were very, very hard to find.
I saw doctors, specialists, read books, took vitamins, tried new ideas… all to no avail. UNTIL… I found the real keys to health… Continue reading “How to change your life”→
I lived in a dark fog for 13 years as a zombie with a permanent “hangover from hell.” I had constant dizziness, no energy, depression, low blood pressure and a very low quality of life. This continued relentlessly for 13 long years without relief.
But with only lifestyle changes, my brain woke up, I started to laugh again, and life was worth living. Here are my most important life lessons, in a nutshell…
Is there really a cure for all ills? Let me tell you a quick story…
Today, I received a short email from a lady asking me how I healed from 13 years of M.E. (CFS). She said she had it herself and naturally, wanted to get better…
It suddenly occurred to me that maybe James and I had gone in completely the wrong direction, in writing an all-encompassing book called Happy Guide. I thought maybe we should have focused specifically on “How to overcome chronic fatigue syndrome.”
Happy Guide 