Wayne Dyer was talking about his friendship with Deepak Chopra in a talk he gave.
“Whenever I had a problem and would talk to Deepak about it, his answer was always the same — meditate…”
I’m paraphrasing but that’s very interesting I think. Whatever your problem, meditate.
If you’ve got a problem, really, the last thing you want to do is keep focusing on the problem. The solutions don’t come from focusing on the problem, they come from focusing on the solutions…
Anyway, this resonated with me because that’s similar to something I’ve been saying to myself for a long time — “the worse I feel, the more I meditate.” Whenever life starts to go bad… meditate MORE. If it’s GONE bad, do lots and lots of meditation.
This ties in with Einstein’s famous quote (I’m paraphrasing again)…
“You can’t solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
Meditation makes you feel better and when you feel better, you see things differently. What’s the point in keep going over the problem in the same habitual way?
Meditation allows you to find your center. It’s a place where everything is always ok. It allows you to step out of habitual thought loops that keep you focused on the problem.
It’s a holiday from your problems.
If you get into a mediation habit instead of making your problems a habit, you’ll soon begin to feel sane again. Meditation will definitely be the sanest part of your day.
Habits allow you to make positive actions effortless. That is their power.
Whether the habit is a healthy breakfast, exercise or meditation, the positive habit will mean a massive difference to your health and happiness down the line.
Whatever it is you want to achieve, it just can’t happen without habit. I saw the Dalai Lama on TV the other day. Every day he wakes up, says his “life purpose” affirmation, showers and meditates. Every single day. Day-in, day-out. That’s a man who understands habit right there.
Habit is the one thing that’s even more important than meditation when it comes to solving your problems. Because your attention is power and when you regularly put your attention on the things you want to nurture, things happen.
Thirty minutes meditation will NOT change your life. But a thirty minute meditation habit will change your life in ways you can’t even imagine…
Habits are the way we work ANYWAY. It’s the way we’re wired. That will never change. So why not maximize your habit power?
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Hi helpaieee, you and I have been talking by email recently too, so I just want to clarify that listening is awareness. The two words effectively mean the same thing here. Remaining aware is all you need to do. And as Mike mentioned you can start small by just giving part of your day to being aware, if you prefer.
Also, please don’t forget the rest of the book, it all matters, it all affects your state, how you feel. As you live in a more and more healthy, relaxed, organized way, remaining in a state of awareness becomes much easier and more natural. :-)
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Hi helpaieee, taking a few deep breaths and releasing tension in the body is just helpful to settle into meditation, you don’t need to worry about it, you can just focus on the listening method if you are confused. It takes a little while to trust your open mind, trust life, trust your whole self. We are taught to think, think, think, to focus on problems and so on. I assume this is what you mean when you say you don’t believe? If so, you can give part of your day to just allowing thoughts to come, staying in awareness, and part of your day where you carry on as normal. In this way, you will trust more and more that the thoughts you need will come at the right time, and that is no need for constant mind chatter. Also, when your awareness is strong, you will be able to focus powerfully on thoughts you choose to ponder.
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Hi Mike
I am still doubtful.In happy guide its mentioned to focus on body in “meditation -intense practice”.So I am confused should I be focussing on body or not or should I just listen?I am doing this focusing in mind to listen and “just allowing thoughts to arise” in my in-between the day and it feels better.Is it you call listening?And same thing required in sitting meditation?What I am getting is to just do this thing,however the need to assure that who recommended that and the lack of ability to just believe me prevents me.My disbelief in me is so intense that I am not able to convince me to do this and feel that nobody else has told me to do this without doing or understanding other things.I also feel i can only do this when I am committed to every other method but that feel too harsh.Can’t I just do it without any committment to other things.Also nobody recommended listening for longer time as recommended meditation is different method altogether in happy guide. I can’t believe me and I don’t know why?It is like somebody craving for alcohal and avoiding it completely.What should I be doing?I am craving for meditation but lacks the proper guidance.
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Hi Mike.focussing on body and letting thoughts go or focusing on breath and lets thought go.IS it the method you are talking about?
One more thing even if i feel i should meditate and i am able to despite feeling of confusion,fear ,intrusive thoughts etc,another thoughts grips in should i meditate despite all these?
sometimes i am able to and sometimes i am not able to.Yesterday i meditated in morning and felt better but couldn’t in night as i needed that assurance.I had this feeling that everybody says to meditate so i should meditate but wasn’t sure of this or couldnt remember the specific statement that is taking me to the meditation or get assureed that i should meditete despite all these. I was having doubtful feeling as i didnt had any such person or article saying me do this and i was doing meditation on the back of a false feeling of “doing meditation” and I dropped whole thing.confused and gave way to whole shit back again.thinking that i should have done and what i should not have. and than analyzing,getting sure,random anxious thoughts getting my sleep affected and ruining my morning also.
still should i meditate if i am able to except the thought demanding assurance.Should i do it 2-3 times a day?Though i also felt that was all natural my want to do meditation.I felt better when i did it in morning.But thats how i ruined it.
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Hi helpaieee,
I know you have the Happy Guide book now so the best thing is to stick to the advice given there. “Listening” is simply awareness. You don’t need to focus on your body or your breath, you are simply aware. In that state, you are aware of anything that pops into your mind. This awareness means you don’t automatically become your thoughts — instead you can choose to engage with them, or ignore them.
Meditation is simply “intense practice” listening where you take a few minutes to get calm and “listen”.
The method is always simply listening for the next thought. That puts you in a state of awareness. Thoughts won’t immediately stop unless you can generate the intensity needed, and also old patterns, emotions, and other stuff that have been repressed may pop up. That’s ok.
At first the mind can seem extremely stormy not because things have gotten worse, but because now you are aware, sensitive to movement in the mind. So you generate as much awareness as you can by listening. If the mind is too stormy for thoughts to stop, just allow them to come and go, without following.
You can “listen” in this way all the time, and you can meditate whenever you get the opportunity for a few quiet minutes :-)
Best wishes,
James
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Hi what i getting instinctively is i should not restrict or force thoughts.Let them be if the come and that feels good rather than engaging in those.But i dont know if i should need to ignore them at all.
One more thing i read this method
http://www.calmdownmind.com/the-practice-of-relaxed-awareness/
.can you tell will it help.It says to be open and not to ignore thoughts anything.After reading this I also understood i dont need to restrict thoughts.But I cant get whole thing he is talking and cant connect his and yours which is confusing me.ignore or not?let thoughts go or not?My instinct after reading all these says don’t restrict thoughts.if you feel like ignore them,its not forceful,it happens.if you feel like do your work.I did this and didn’t restrict anything and when i did this lot of random thoughts stopped.
However I cant believe me.And the practices that are said to be followed confuses me if they should be performed exactly how they wrote or I am not doing it the way he meant it or wrote it.For eg he said relaxed awareness can be started by doing it 30 minutes daily.But what i did yesterday while doing my work or watching tv is just didnt restrict my thoughts and it felt too good and felt like it is the thing that i need to do.But i got confused later after doing this that its not i should be doing,its not the thing told to you.still i dont engage much but this confusion lingered in my mind producing other thoughts may be placing my confusion and anxiety here and there.
And one more thing i cant get is,If i am doing something than I cant be doing some method.Isnt it natural to do and don’t suppress or restrict thoughts.My whole thing initiated 12 years before so complicatedly when I started trying forcing thoughts ,dont letting them go and tried to forcefully mean ,suppress,this that,tried to mean every thought,etc etc.Can you clear me.
——
also in happy guide it is written like this “Whenever you get the opportunity for a few quiet minutes,
close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Move your
attention into your body and feel and release any tension there.
Let thoughts come and go without following, without
judgment. And let everything settle down until all there is left
is pure, simple awareness.”
But you are saying not to focus anywhere.What should i be doing?also what i am suppossed to do let thoughts come and go or engage in some of the thoughts while meditating and ignoring some others.
——
what to do of the next thought we get while listening.Let it go?and keep listetning?i can do it till i get first thought but then what to next.
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Hi Helpaieee, I’ve combined all your new comments, to keep all your questions together.
The whole idea is to stop thinking habitually, automatically, to get back to “no-mind”. This returns us to our natural state, to the joy of simply being, where thinking is something we do. This is as opposed to be being identified with our thoughts, believing we are our thoughts (ego).
I’m sorry, it’s a bad idea to read other people’s methods and try to translate them into our own. It only leads to confusion, as you’ve found. Two people can use the same word to mean two different things and who knows if their aim is even the same as our own? I recommend sticking to the Happy Guide method, it’s the simplest and quickest way.
The “listening” method is a technique to silence the mind, to interrupt the mind chatter, to get back to mental stillness — what we call “no-mind”. It can be hard to generate the intensity to still the mind at first, such is the momentum of our thinking. In which case, you just allow thoughts to come and go, without following, without judgment. Your attention, your awareness is on your mind. You are simply being aware of what is passing through your mind.
Should you engage with thoughts? If you’re meditating, don’t engage with any thoughts, just let them come and go. Just watch them. Naturally, if you’re just “listening” as part of your day, you will want to engage with some thoughts. For example, you may get a thought about needing to pick up your dry cleaning before the shop closes.
What should you do with the next thought you get while listening — Let it go? And keep listening?
Listening for the “next” thought is a method, a technique. It’s a way of “tuning in” to the space in which thought happens. If you can listen intensely enough, you won’t actually get a “next” thought :-) But if you do, what to do with it depends on if you’re “listening” as part of your day, of if it’s during a meditation. As described above, if you’re “listening” as part of your day, you may want to engage with the thought (dry cleaning). If you’re meditating, just ignore the thought, let it go. Stay in the “space”, just watch. Let it all come and go.
When you’re doing something, where should your attention be?
Your attention should be on what you’re doing. In the book we call this “flow.” We describe it as a progression, something you can start doing after you learn to get back to “no mind” by listening. The reason it is written as a progression is that unless you can make your mind quiet (through “listening”), when there is no distraction or activity, then it’s unlikely you will be able to do it when actually doing things. If you haven’t got back to “no mind” through “listening”, the chances are you won’t be able to hold your attention on what you’re doing — you’ll probably get lost in thought.
But of course, we all need to do things anyway. So if you can, simply hold your full attention on what you are doing.
The ultimate aim, the end finish line, is to do both simultaneously; focusing on what you’re doing (“flow”) while being aware of thoughts that pop (“listening”). In this state, everything becomes “one.” You feel unified and act as one complete being. There is no “split.” You are simply aware of everything — what you’re doing, anything that pops into your mind, your entire surroundings. This can be a very joyous state where you feel very connected to everything.
I hope this helps!
Best wishes,
James
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is it ok or enough to make transcendental meditation for 30 mins every day?
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It’s okay, I prefer the listening method. It’s one step. TM is two steps.
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