Think of your day as a kind of “dance” that’s unique to you.
Your dance needs to automatically take care of everything that matters to you and produces the thing you really want — happiness.
Throw in all the philosophy, the mindset, the reasons, your desire, your life commitments, the true facts of health (what works) and out pops this…
Actions to be taken consistently
In other words, your list of Regular Actions. This is a list of things you need do every day, week or month that keeps everything ticking along and taken care of.
Watch any master at work — a violinist, a driver, a carpet fitter, a brick layer, even a dancer :-) They aren’t consciously doing anything. Perfection in any skill makes it automatic. All the reactions have been previously perfected.
And by making it all a dance, you’ll perfect your own reactions, your habits — like riding a bike. Effortless.
You”ll begin to create an exceptionally clear map of your day that gives you the freedom to let go of worry.
The more you repeat your dance, the clearer you’ll get, the more you’ll find your flow and the more you’ll relax. And as you build your health through consistent good habits, you’ll find yourself becoming happier and happier.
“Dance through your list” — that’s one awesome good habit to have, that automatically makes more good habits.
And that’s going to mean lots of good things start happening.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Hi Mike ,
Thanks, my not wanting to get out of bed is more not wanting to face the day or life in a depressed sense. I do feel like I generally get enough sleep and get 8 + hours but I take your point about making it quality sleep
Mark
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Hi Mark,
It’s tough I know, I feel for you. But I also know that you can be happy and healthy. Sometimes that finish-line is a way off if we’ve been doing bad things for years, even decades. I truly believe that the Happy Guide “finish-line” will work for everyone because we’re all human and need the same causes in our lives.
The challenge is the correction of habits and the allowing of our bodies to get back to health. The way is to SEE the finish-line with exceptional clarity and step, step, step having faith even when things are bad.
When we start to make changes, we can feel even worse in the short term and this can lead to confusion because we are wired to notice short-term cause-effect associations.
Detox, addictions and things like candida die-off all have the immediate effect of feeling worse when we make changes.
Clarity, steps, faith… put those causes of health in place and you can’t NOT be happy and healthy.
If you can afford it, a naturopath can help you undo bad stuff quicker potentially by testing for things like vitamin deficiencies and so on. With that info, you can turn things around quicker by correcting your specific issues.
The other thing I want to say is; don’t cherry pick. If you’re suffering from chronic illness it’s best to disengage your critical thinking on this and just run with it, to the LETTER. Every single thing in there matters. Every single things affects the others and I’ve thought about very little else for over twenty years.
Do it to the letter and you’ll get the promised results. How long that takes it going to vary from person to person but the results will come. If you do it to the letter you’ll avoid all the potential pit-falls that could keep you trapped, e.g. food allergies and intolerance.
All the best,
Mike
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Hi Mike,
Since becomming depressed in July of this year I have picked up some bad habbits since that time.
Not wanting to get up in the morning
Not getting to things I need to do
Feeling chaotic
Not being “present” for my family
There are more….., but can I turn these around while still feeling depressed by following your advice on change?
The doctor I see wants to add Lithium as after an appointment earlier this week, he determined I was still depressed and I do feel that way too (severe depression with agitation).
I have had enough, and would like to go off the drugs but I’m loath to if I will genuinely feel worse……….?
I’m a fan of Happy Guide and Im trying hard to implement the 6 elements (my exercise is slipping at the moment because my legs feel leaden being on a drug called zyprexa) but at the moment I’m so out of sorts because Im living from day to day which feels like just hanging on in a chaotic manner.
Mark
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Hi Mark,
Whether you add another drug is between you and your doctor and I can’t comment on that other than to say “work towards being drug free” AND be sure your doctor is on-board with your intention. Personally, I always resisted taking drugs during my 13 years with severe ME/CFS. The docs always wanted me to take anti-depressants.
Drugs rarely get to the true underlying causes.
Mark I think you have a mammoth sleep debt. You said before that you fall asleep in front of the TV and yet can’t get out of bed. This is a clear sign. That needs to be addressed with all haste.
I caught a bit of “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” a few days ago. One nght it was raining and they all had disturbed sleep. Wow — how grouchy they all were the next day… from ONE bad night.
Many folks disturb their own sleep every single night by stuff they do in the hours before bed — use of stimulants, alcohol, enervating video games etc. It doesn’t take long before things go pear shaped. And yet if you present to a doc with depression from sleep debt, you’ll come away with a prescription. It’s nuts really.
Mark you need loads of sleep and to stop doing bad things coming up to bed time. Allow EXTRA time in bed and power naps when you feel bad — 20 to 30 minutes.
And get all those “things-to-do” into your regular and one-off actions lists. These will save you when you’re groggy and tired because you know “all I need to do is go through this list and I’ll be golden.” If your head is groggy and you’re not thinking clearly, it’s fantastic to have your list hold your life together ’til you can get on top. Even with a groggy head, you can muster enough focus to look at the next thing on the list and do that.
So start with these things — recover sleep debt and stop doing things that disturb sleep. Get regular and one-off actions nailed down and focus on one thing at a time — the next thing on your list.
And don’t forget to keep reading Happy Guide Mark… before sleep is actually ideal. Reading is a fantastic way to shift from day activity to sleep mode and your unconscious mind is very receptive at this time… all those positive ideas and solutions will be floating around in your mind while you sleep.
In time, you’ll get super clarity on how it all fits together and the desire and resolve to actually do it.
Keep the faith Mark:
https://happy.guide/2010/10/21/faith-in-the-finish-line
Mike
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