I often write about my friend who has “OCD” — obsessive compulsive disorder. Because the issues he faces are the same ones we all face.
His are just more extreme, more obsessive but they’re the same. Just two days after giving his full effort to just one simple technique he called me…
“I’m cured,” he said.
This was after months of severe anxiety states. He was shaking a lot of the time, sweating heavily at night. His thoughts were racing constantly and he couldn’t control them.
He had to stop work several times and his life was grinding to a halt as he avoided as much as he could and withdrew into his private world of pain.
The reason I’m telling you all this is to show you the amazing power of attention. The technique is simple — distraction…
Attention is where your power is. Attention is the volume control for thoughts — as I’ve told him a thousand times.
The “cure” lasted ten days. Ten days of almost complete normality with no sign of OCD. And it took only two days to go from gibbering wreck to happy and enthusiastic using only distraction. Amazing!
Old habits die hard
And his cure would have been permanent but for the fact that ten days later after burning the candle at both ends, he had some little twinges of anxiety that triggered the old way of thinking. Slowly for a further 4 days, he ramped the whole thing back up again.
Again, this has powerful lessons for all of us. “Old habits die hard” as the saying goes. After making changes, we need to be sure to bed them in well.
It’s like riding a bike
“This OCD” I tell him, “is just like riding a bike. You’ll always be able to do it. Just DON’T GET ON THE BIKE.” Unfortunately he did — despite the most severe warnings. I talk to him for hours and hours and hours. “I can’t do this without you,” he says.
The truth is that all this talking is really unnecessary in the sense that it has only one purpose. To convince him that distraction IS the answer — to explain to him that his way can never work, and to get him to commit 100% to the simple method of distraction. Once he commits; two days. He is normal after two days. Twenty years of OCD gone.
If you stick your hand in the fire… it ALWAYS burns
So… round and round we go. As I speak he’s fallen back into the old way. Now he needs me to talk him out because it’s very foggy in there. He can’t see his own way out. I hope and pray that this time he’s learned and he won’t need to stick his hand in the fire one more time to realize… IT ALWAYS BURNS!
Thoughts are… just thoughts
The lesson for you and me is that thoughts aren’t us. They are for the most part conditioned reactions that we believe in and identify with. Once you can see thoughts as just thoughts, you have the power to remove your attention from unwanted ones.
Now you have a choice — to pay attention or not. Whether it’s because you want to stop a bad habit or stop a thought loop about a girlfriend that just dumped you, the process is the same. Distract from thoughts you don’t want (ie. ignore them) and their power is gone.
The amazing power of attention
Once you know this simple process, you’ll find a thousand ways it can serve you. Someone says something hurtful? Distract. Worried about tomorrow? Distract. Craving unhealthy food? Distract.
This one simple technique ALONE can have a massive impact on your health and happiness because you always have choice. There is always a choice of where to put your attention. You can stop reacting to everything in the same old conditioned way — the way everyone else reacts — predictably.
Master the process
Now you make your decisions consciously. You are in charge — not old habits, old ways and the same old reactions. If distraction can end 20 years of misery in only 2 days, what can it do for you?
Learn and master the incredible power of attention and you’re going to get happier and happier.
It’s been 8 years I am searching for a cure. Just to tell you thank you so much, I started the attention (distraction) method and my OCD is fading away. Many thanks!!
— Jad, Canada
Update: I received this feedback from the friend I talked about in the article:
Sometimes there’s things you don’t want but it’s a reality. But I now know thinking can bring nothing but more suffering. I don’t do OCD anymore. Thanks to you. Love you brother x
— Paul Attwell, UK
Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird
Happy Guide 
Hi Mike
It’s Teddy. OCD is almost cured, and doing much better on that front. But I have a new problem in my life now and I need help. You see, when I had HOCD, I became not homophobic, because I have always been an ally of the gay community and I still am, but I myself didn’t want to appeal or seem gay. Because I was trying to prove to my OCD about my orientation, etc. (we all know how hocd works). But then I took away meaning from the hocd and over time I started to become much better (meditation helped also) until now I am almost completely cured. But I still always made sure I didn’t do anything that seemed gay. But from there this self judgement problem caused by my ocd became worse. I started judging myself on everything. Was I happy? Did I look happy? Was I socially outgoing? Or god forbid was I being shy? And I would just keep on judging myself like this. You see before my OCD I was very socially outgoing and happy and etc and I believe I still am but now I consistently judge myself on it so if I am every not being one of the centers of attention or if I am not happy I worry and get this sense of guilt. I’m just always worried I have somehow lost my old great self. But at the same time I know that I haven’t….ergh I hope I am explaining this correctly, but I think you get the general sense of this problem. How do I stop this? How do I get back to my non self judging self that I had before OCD?
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Hi Teddy, your old self was great, so why the self-consciousness? It’s inhibiting your natural free-flowing self. The solution is always the same — remove attention and meaning from thoughts you don’t want, stay centered by always listening to thoughts, which gives you a grounding, a powerful grounding that you can return to easily.
You see this is hurting you, impeding you, then the penny drops and you drop it, stop doing it by simply removing attention every single time. That is the “point of letting go.”
You have a clear memory of how you were before, so that gives you confidence that all will be okay. Now these things become habits, so we don’t expect instant change, but simply persist in removing meaning and attention in every case. Get the whole thing OFF your radar. Thing is, as soon as you look to see if it is there or not, it’s there! The very look, puts it there.
So… stay centered, stay focused in the moment on what you are doing, if any thought about anything to do with being gay, looking gay, anything at all, instantly remove attention away. I can tell you I never think about it, so I can assure you it’s not necessary :-)
You make something “not there” in your mind by denying it attention. No attention, where is it?
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I’ve heard mixed things about milk. Yes, in terms of its constituencies, some of it is a bit disturbing. But they say that it’s still good, overall. What’s wrong with bran and fibre? I’ve read nothing but good things about it.
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Grains aren’t natural human foods, lots of problems with them… can damage the digestive tract in many ways, and contain opiates that are addictive. Grains are linked with mental illnesses like schizophrenia. Also the fiber in grains is different to the fiber you get from our natural foods… fruits/veg/roots/tubers. The extracted bran of grains with added sugar plus milk is just about the worst meal one could think up :-)
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So you don’t drink milk or have any cereal? Also, what are your thoughts on protein powder? Because I often see people having protein shakes (protein mixed with milk) after a workout.
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I think cow and goat milk is best for the babies of cows and goats :-) No cereal no. I think human food is best. We use protein powder at breakfast in our diet simply because of practically of people’s lives. This is under review but is unlikely to change. Real food is always best. I never got into the whole post workout meal or anything like that to optimize muscle growth. The big stuff is to get enough protein and slightly overeat to get a hormonal advantage. I have seen guys working sooooo hard in the gym and staying skinny because they just weren’t eating enough food. No 1 is to get enough calories in and roughly the right amount of protein, and train, the rest is the little stuff and not worth stressing about imo. Actually, I remember my meal time was when I got back from the gym, so had that covered anyway :-)
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Hey Mike, so do you follow the exact same diet prescribed in Happy Guide? I do tend to indulge in junk food every once in a while, but for the most part I eat quite healthy. And you work out/exercise 5 times a week (monday to friday)? See, that’s something I really have to start being committed to. Once I graduate from my architectural studies this April, I’ll be hitting the gym on a frequent basis. I’m sure that by improving my nutrition and fitness plans, my healing process will accelerate.
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Hiya, yes Monday to Friday… 30 to 60 minute walk with my dog Max, with the odd sprint thrown in, usually up the hills, then 5-10 sets weights later on. Yes, I follow the diet, I aim to do everything as written. I’m reviewing diet info now, so there maybe some tweaks in a few months, hard to say because the things I’m looking at it’s hard to get definitive answers on e.g. optimal fish/ fish oil.
Many people THINK they are eating healthily but if you follow the USDA pyramid, then no, you’re not :-) Grains and dairy are not natural human foods and I think nearly everyone is being hurt by them. No need to reduce sat fat now I think, and using vegetable oil to replace sat fat wildly throws out the omega-3 and -6 balance, one of the roots of chronic inflammation, which in turn, is at the roots of most chronic diseases.
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I’m pretty tall and lean, but I want to gain more muscle mass (ultimately resulting in gaining more weight). I’ve met lots of people who work out regularly tell me that they consume a lot of protein and have high caloric intakes. What do you think about that?
It’s true, I THINK I’m eating healthily. The problem is that we keep hearing different things about what’s healthy and not healthy. There doesn’t seem to be a unanimous approach. I do consume some dairy. I have two yogurts and a bowl of bran & fibre cereal every day.
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Hiya, yes the usual way to gain is to overeat. Overeating plus training builds mass very quickly. Adding roughly an extra 500 calories will work well. Protein about 1g per pound of lean body mass if you’re training hard is plenty I think. It’s more about calories and the hormonal advantage you get from that.
I’ve only ever done 1 mass build cycle but wow it really works, getting in the extra calories means plenty of glycogen stores as well, making you extra strong in the gym. Personally, I’m not trying to be big, just have a normal fit body. I am naturally slim and have a thin neck, so if I train too much I look kinda out of proportion :-)
So, you can keep adding mass til you are over and above your target weight, then “cut” keeping protein same, and cutting fat and carbs back. I think “The Zone” diet is pretty much optimal for macro ratios when you are cutting.
The ratio of protein:carbs you keep 3:4 so if you were having 120g protein, you would be having 160g carbs. At these amounts, you would be having 51g fat a day. The Zone is based on your protein needs, and then works on “blocks” to match up carbs and fat. A protein block is 7g so if you needed 120g protein, you would need 17 blocks… 51g fat.
Yes, there’s no consensus about what is best diet wise, that’s why we look to evolution, tradition, and then science for what is best. Human foods are fruits, vegetables, starchy roots/tubers, meat/fish/eggs/shellfish etc, nuts/seeds. So these should be the mainstay of your diet. Yoghurts, butter are OK if you can tolerate dairy, milk is likely to be more problematic. Also goat’s dairy is better tolerated by some people. Not a fan of your bran and fibre.
Be careful about how fast you add mass, otherwise you will get stretch marks that are there for good.
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Thanks Mike. I appreciate the compliments. I’m not a writer, but English was most certainly one of my favorite subjects in school :).
At first, the journey may seem arduous and overwhelming; but once you get some “wins” under your belt, it gets progressively easier and becomes intuitive. I definitely suffered from this OCD. But in hindsight, I think this experience has made me into a stronger person. I’ve learned a lot from this whole ordeal.
I’ll be sure to write a nice piece for the feedback on Happy Guide :).
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Wonderful, always good to add to our feedback, thanks!
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Fair enough. You’re right. The system creates corruption and greed, which are the real culprits. So Mike, did you ever have OCD? I can see that you’ve been through a lot in your life. But I truly congratulate you for persevering through all your difficulties and making it through. You are an inspiration.
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Wow, thanks, no I didn’t have OCD, my interest in it initially came from my friend who turned to me for advice. I could easily see deeply into his issue which was very complex, I could easily see how all the factors created a self-perpetuating state… initial trauma, fear, anxiety, dysfunctional behavior, loss of coping, more anxiety, more dysfunctional behavior etc. Then when I blogged about it, I had a lot of people write in with similar issues. All differ in their manifestations but all have the same basic dysfunctions at their roots.
Certainly with CFS, which is itself a complex condition with many interacting factors, I had many mental issues, depression, brain fog, disorientation, suicidal thoughts, orthostatic intolerance, low energy, poor memory etc.
Yes, it’s been a journey, and really all my suffering could have been avoided. That’s the passion that drives me, to prevent unnecessary suffering for others. And 99.9% of it, has it’s roots in the way we live. All the suffering out there from depression, OCD, diabetes, cancer, even acne :-) None of it need be suffered. The vast resources that are pumped into dealing with the aftermath of all this, if one tenth were spent on education and empowerment to put these simple causes of health in place, and for decent studies to finally nail-down optimal diet etc, it would all go away very quickly. Luckily we have the internet, and people are doing it for themselves. Slowly but surely.
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I think part of the problem also lies with lack of motivation/commitment/consistency. The methods of healing prescribed in Happy Guide are all natural, but they do take some work and discipline to follow. However, once mastered, maintaining the benefits becomes so easy. A lot of people want a “quick fix” to solve their problems, but I see time and again that gets them nowhere.
You remember how in the beginning I REALLY wanted my unwanted thoughts/images to go away. I found them incredibly irritating and annoying. It was as though I was shouting at them to get lost. But that only exacerbates the disorder. Honestly, it’s the beginning of the recovery/healing process that’s the most difficult. Building up that confidence, certainty, and understanding, that what you’re going through is unnecessary and stems from falsehood (in my case) is the challenge. People get stuck here, and feel despair as a result. But by getting those small “wins” gradually, and staying committed, results begin to show.
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Wow, you have a great way with words, are you are writer? Very insightful too.
You have nailed a lot of the issues with getting started there, I definitely agree with all of that, and beautifully put!
Yes, and that’s one of the main aims of the book, to create understanding, absolute clarity and belief. Then we take steps, often feeling worse at first, so difficult as you say to get started. That’s why I always stress “have faith in the finish line, keep stepping.” But tough, very tough it can be.
I just read recently about a woman who gave up wheat and had brain fog for 4 months. I was hyperventilating for 6 weeks after quitting wheat. Tough. But we lay it all out, the finish line, and give the way… baby steps. When we’re confused and hurting, we need a guiding light, one that is absolutely rock solid sure, with no doubt, that we can have faith, to lead us back to happiness. That’s what we aim for with the book “just tell me what to do and how to do it.”
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Like you, many people have written in, amazed by how quickly they could turn their situation around, when it seemed so desperate and unsolvable before.
This is one of my favorites…
“Seen so many professionals”… I mean, what are these people learning!?
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