A lot of feedback from our unwanted thoughts post was from young people scared half to death from watching scary movies.
So here’s some specifics for that particular problem. This was the actual list I sent a young girl so scared she slept with a bible.
I’ve kept this post very short to get to the solutions straight away…
Know this:
- You’re not alone — most people freak out after watching scary movies, even adults.
- YOU ARE SAFE. You aren’t in any more danger now than you were before… it’s just a movie.
- You won’t feel scared for long. It will soon pass.
- Scary movies are made to scare you, that’s their job.
- Part of your mind can’t tell the difference between a movie and real life. It’s THIS part that freaks out, but YOU know… it’s just a movie. Because of this, it’s best to be careful what you feed your mind — what you watch, think and imagine!
Do this:
- Do some exercise: You are in a “fight or flight” state so act it out — dance or run about, jog on the spot, do star jumps, skip, have a pillow fight, do some shadow boxing or press ups… whatever.
- Watch “behind the scenes” videos to take the realness out of the movie, so you see clearly; “It’s just a movie.”
- Do what you can to feel safe: Be with people. Get lots of hugs from your parents, friends, even a pet or a big cuddly toy. Use a night-light.
- Keep your mind distracted: Watch comedy, get absorbed in a good book, listen to relaxing music, anything you can to distract your mind. Each time a thought comes up, remind yourself “It’s just a movie” and distract.
- To help you sleep, play the famous lullaby tune by Brahms below. Relaxing soundtracks like waves crashing on the beach would also be very good. Then when it’s time to sleep, use this relaxation technique: Put all your attention into your feet, feel your feet tingling and relax them, then move through every part of your body doing the same thing until you fall asleep.
“I want to say that a while ago I saw this article, it was the night after I saw a scary movie. I haven’t really thought about it since like, 3 months ago! This really helps!”— Katie, USA
FAQ
Q PLEASE HELP ME!!!
A If you follow all the tips in the article as best you can, that’s the fastest way to get back to normal. It’s all there, everything you need to know and do. Please leave a comment below if you’re having trouble following the advice.
Q Why am I sooooo scared just from watching a movie?
A Your mind reacts instinctively to perceived danger and changes your physical and mental state in order to deal with the danger — the “fight or flight” state. We evolved in nature where danger was real, like lions, and your brain still works that way. More about this →
Q Why am I hearing noises in my house after watching scary movies?
A If your mind thinks “danger,” your body changes to a “fight or flight” state. One of these changes is that you notice sounds that you normally wouldn’t notice. Your house always makes these sounds but you normally filter them out.
Q Why are my friends better at watching scary movies than I am?
A We’re all different. If you were to measure fear reaction in you and all your friends, you would get what is called a “normal distribution.” Most people would be somewhere in the middle, a few would not be affected at all and a few would have an over-reaction. There’s lots of reasons why you react like you do… genetics, previous experiences, beliefs, sensitivity etc. Everyone is different.
Q If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?
A Go along if you want to, but don’t get sucked into it. Keep moving your attention away and back, away and back… like… look at objects in the room, notice the objects in the background of the movie rather than on the action, look to see how your friends freak out at the really scary bits :-) And you can keep remembering “that’s just a guy wearing make-up,” “just back a bit is the camera crew and director.” All sort of tricks like this to “keep it real.”
If the music builds up and you know there’s a scare coming, close your eyes or hide behind a pillow! Lots of people do it and the rest will be too absorbed to see what you’re doing.
A few fluttery moments of thrill are what you want from a movie. Losing sleep over it means it wasn’t worth it.
You could take your own DVDs to sleepovers, and see if a great comedy can tempt people away from horror. If you know in advance it’s going to be a horror marathon, you could just skip the event. Your friends won’t ditch you over one blow-off, and you get to spend time with them you actually enjoy.
If you’re REALLY sensitive and know you can’t handle it, then just say “No thanks.”
Q Why can’t I sleep after watching a scary movie?
A As you settle down to sleep, there are no distractions for your mind, it’s just you and your thoughts. It seems as though you are looking at your thoughts through a big magnifying glass.
Whatever you fear, you will be reminded of — it’s just a primitive part of your mind protecting you against what you saw as danger. If you react with anxiety to your thoughts, your body makes adrenaline as part of the “fight or flight” reaction. This will keep you awake and stop you sleeping. Then a vicious cycle of more thinking, more anxiety and so on.
To prevent this happening, you need another focus and to stay relaxed. To do this, play the famous lullaby tune as soon as you get into bed. Put your attention on the music. This will give your mind something to focus on and the calming effect of the music will help you relax. When it’s time to sleep, use the relaxation technique (tip 5) to keep your mind off scary thoughts.
If you wake in the night, remember, “it’s just a movie, no real danger” and then immediately use the relaxation technique again until you go back to sleep.
Q What about movies that are based on true stories?
A Saying a movie is based on actual events is just a way to get you more scared. An unusual event is often used to make unquestioned false assumptions, distorted, and then built upon further to end up with a story that has zero truth in it. In short, you can safely assume that no scary movie is true. It’s just a silly movie.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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I am 11 years old and am really scared of the unknown I hav heard true stories about it and read your articles. I often get chainmail and also often my brother or friends watch scary movies I know I shouldn’t do this but then I’m the odd one ouuuut the leftover I get really scared and have tried your tips what do I. do please help soon I am petrified of all
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Hey Laddie,
I’ve added a Q/A to the FAQ section in the article to cover your question “If my friends are watching a scary movie, I have to go along or I will be left out. What should I do?”
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Mike, it’s me again. I played Donkey Kong 64 a week or two ago and in the second level, an ancient desert kind of city place with three temples, I learned about an enemy called Krosshair, a demonic Scottish robot who is the guardian of a temple with five doors. This demon, when you get a golden banana at the end of the path of each door, points some sort of laser sniper cannon thing at you (all you can see is the aiming cursor from the cannon) and says “GET OUT” in a really deep, demonic, Scottish accent. I usually found this entertaining and was never scared even when it happened back when I was 10, but this time my sister was watching me play, and it was what she said that scared me:
I was playing at night and she was apparently so scared after Krosshair spoke, that when I paused the game to get something to eat after I escaped from the temple, she got angry and beat me up for leaving her alone. And when I started the 7th level, a haunted floating castle, she was crying because there was moaning in the Catacombs music. The thing I’m scared about is how angry she can get if I don’t “protect” her. I’m thinking that if I was away at high school and she watched a movie while I was gone that she’d get so angry about me not being in the house that she’d kill me when I get home. We both need two completely different types of help, but still both having to do with fear.
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Hi Aaron, that’s why I suggested to you before, with the clown prank that you’re playing a dangerous game. It’s about fear volume. Exposure to fear as entertainment once in a while, if you’re mature enough to handle it is one thing (but then MOST people watching 18 horror movies are KIDS!! grrr, and the same goes for 18 video games).
Now with you two things are a little different too — more like using fear to be very close emotionally, so it reinforces your dependence on each other, you as protector, like when a guy takes a girl to a scary movie and both are in on it — but with you two, it’s become a habit.
It seems that rather than squish her fear altogether, you provoke it, so you can be protector again.
As I said, I think it’s a dangerous game to play, and if your sister is sensitive to this kind of stuff then I would really suggest you focus on truly ending her fear rather than get into these habits that could lead to problems if you don’t nip it in the bud.
Find other ways to be close and to show her you love her. Find other things for ENTERTAINMENT. Of course you can protect her, that’s normal and nice, but if you love her you will want her to be STRONG and INDEPENDENT. To force her weakness so you can protect and she be comforted, as I said, is a dangerous game, a bad habit… not good mate imo :-)
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Thanks for the advice Mike! This really helps! I should be able to get over my fears right about now.. :3 Thanks!
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You’re very welcome Amanda :-) Be careful what you put in your brain, it’s a lot easier than “cleaning up” afterwards :-)
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I’m watched this movie and now I’m scared that this stuff will happen to me too, what should I do?? I’m terrified…
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Hi Paris,
Every time a thought comes about it, tell yourself “It can’t happen to me, it’s just a stupid movie” and then pay attention to something else. And follow all the other tips too. Mike
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Hello, 2 days ago i watched insiduous. for the past 2 nights ive slept in my mums bed, i am really scared. I know it is physically impossible )the things in the movie) but it scared me so much-it was the 1st horror movie i watched. My mum says im scared because my mind is acting faster than me and it expects it to happen to me, is this true?
i can’t get to sleep unless someone (or my dog) is literally beside me. I feel like such a baby, but i dont know what to do! i will try the instructions above, but is there anything else that might help me forget?
thankyou,
Scared
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Hi Scared, well sleeping with your mum or your dog is good to do if it helps you. If you want to know why you’re freaking out, then there’s more about that here…
So… it helps to SEE it for what it is… just a movie, then you remove meaning, you see that your mind is just reacting instinctively so that you can see what’s happening in a new light.
To FORGET something, means it IS NOT THERE, so quick diversion of attention, immediate IGNORING of thoughts and fear flashes helps you to move towards forgetting.
So… follow the tips, if you get a thought about it, remember “just a movie” and pay attention to SOMETHING else. Repeat for EVERY SINGLE occurrence of the thought. Be CONSISTENT in telling your mind this is meaningless, there’s no danger by your ATTITUDE (don’t care) and your attention. All that adds up to ignoring. That’s the main thing but be sure to follow all the tips for the best results.
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