Nicole asks…
“Wow, I’m so glad I found this website because I’m literally going crazy. Okay, so I’m 18 and my issue all started out with anxiety due to some things, where I started thinking about all these ways I could die, etc…
When that phase passed I was just sitting in my room studying when my sister was listening to some song where it mentioned the devil. I started to think about all those movies I’ve watched, from all the exorcism movies to the paranormal movies and so on. I’ve watched them all because I loved watching horror movies! God knows why. So I started thinking these intense thoughts how that could happen to me, how all those movies were based on a true story, etc.
I get scared even more when I start thinking that me constantly THINKING about it, makes me IMAGINE something, or in some way call out “the bad energies” or whatever…
I’ve seen in a comment on your “scary movie” post where someone as getting up at 3am. I’ve also heard that that’s when the gates of hell open or something, so when I get up during the night the first thing I do is look at the clock, when it’s 3 am I freak out.
I’ve had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, you name it just because of this. I’ve been to counseling and other professional people, but yet no one actually gave me good advice except for breathing techniques that DID help, but the thoughts are still there. I try not to think about it… but if you tell yourself for ex: ‘don’t think about the pig’, you think about the pig, right? :P Please help me :(“
Okay… so… ATTENTION is the volume control for thoughts. That’s the root cause. You’ve been giving attention and meaning to dark thoughts so it’s no surprise that it’s those thoughts that are rattling around your head, and surface on a regular basis…
Not thinking about it is the right thing to do, and also to SEE clearly that attention and MEANING makes thoughts grow. So your attitude is also important and the right attitude is “don’t care.” Whatever comes related to all this horror… “don’t care” then remove attention and all that amounts to ignoring, consistently.
Do the gates of hell open at 3am? NOOO! That’s an example of giving meaning, giving truth and worst of all, giving FEAR to a thought can cause a mental nightmare. Now the first thing you do if you wake up is look at the clock… because you made it IMPORTANT, you feared it and so it’s right there in the forefront of your mind.
The only bad energy you call forth is the bad energy you feel when thinking dark thoughts, but you are in control so make a clear and calm decision… “I will not feed my mind any more horror, I will not think about this or any related subject any more.”
Don’t think of a pig yes, or what we like to call “the pink elephant” :-) Can’t be done can it? The trick is to put your attention somewhere else. So if I say “Don’t think of a pig” you immediately think of a cow. That’s the only way to keep piggy out!
So make this decision “NO MORE” and if it pops into your mind, have a don’t care attitude and put attention elsewhere.
Now drop THE PROBLEM because that is more attention. The end-goal is that these thoughts aren’t there and you’re not even aware they’re not there, they’re just NOT THERE.
For that to happen, remove meaning and attention every time a thought pops, give these thoughts the cold, cold, shoulder.
If any thoughts FEEL true, FEEL like they demand attention, then use reason at first to see… “It’s just a silly movie” “The 3am thing is garbage, I’m totally safe.” Thoughts aren’t true, they come with the quality you previously gave, that is all. So thoughts that seem true get told a new truth “Silly movie” etc, every time they come. And soon enough, you’ll see that the idea of 3am, rather than feel true feels like a lie, because that’s the new quality you now give repeatedly because of your new understanding. And it is a lie, so you’re safe to give it that quality.
Dark thought >> new truth if needed >> don’t care attitude >> remove attention quickly. Repeat until forgotten.
And… stop putting dark thoughts IN and then dark thoughts won’t come OUT. Garbage in, garbage out.
Oh and… these so called “based on a true story movies”… NOT TRUE, that’s all you need to know, trust me, they’re not true and you can trust that.
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Hi Mike, I just have a question… why do i feel fine a week or so then the thoughts come back worse than ever? i mean, the thought is always on the back of my mind and i tend to connect it to almost everything i do, or if i feel odd one day i start freaking. out that something “paranormal” is happening to me… but it is a lot better than it was a month ago. all together this has been lasting for about two months, is that normal? and how to ignore the thoughts when they’re simply just horrible and scary? i always stop and ask myself why the heck did i just think/say that. p.s thanks for replying to my previous messages :)
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Hi Nicole,
If you’ve had some relief from unwanted thoughts then it can FEEL worse if it comes back because now there is greater CONTRAST. But if you’ve had relief from these thoughts you’re in a good place to move forward, because on/off is much better than being totally dominated by your thoughts and not knowing how to stop it. So now you’ve experienced a little bit of how it feels to “be fine” and that feels a whole lots better doesn’t it? So, now commit to letting go of it altogether and never thinking about it again.
Did you read Happy Guide? This whole focus on the paranormal is also tied to generally high anxiety levels and everything affects everything else. Happy Guide has EVERYTHING you need to be happy and healthy Nicole, please read it and then you’ll know exactly what you need to do, why, and how.
Like it says in our unwanted thoughts article, there is the question of “can you DO it?” Can you remove attention from unwanted thoughts. And so that’s where meditation and all the other tools in Happy Guide come in. You learn the tools to say yes or no to thoughts and that will be a great thing for your whole life.
As you paid attention to scary movies, they’ve got you believing a lot of stuff that is just garbage. So please label it all garbage when it pops, and have that “don’t care” attitude we talked about. Here a reminder of what you need to do…
1. Decide you’re not going to think about the paranormal anymore.
2. Ignore every single occurrence of any thought to do with it.
3. Learn the tools you need to be in the best physical and mental shape possible — read and do Happy Guide.
Even committing to meditation alone would be incredibly powerful for you, because you learn where the off switch is for thinking. Without this grounding, we feel we’re constantly adrift, sucked into thoughts without control, slaves to our thought habits. So please commit to meditation — see the Live in the Moment chapter — and all the other tools in Happy Guide, and you’ll see the back of this problem for good and prevent other problems that come from not living right and not thinking right in the future.
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“look for the next thought” .. by saying that do you mean wait for the next bad thought to pop in my mind? it’s really funny because before i’ve never been bothered by this subject,i mean,yes,it’s disturbing,and yes,i would’t be able to sleep a night or two after watching those kind of movies,but that would pass.I would even find that interesting or whatever.
SO,to conclude,my intense thinking about this hasn’t appeared RIGHT AFTER watching any scary movie,it was just triggered by a simple song.The thinking was a lot worse around christmas time,i don’t know why.I was just going crazy,had full blown panic attacks before going to bed.And i don’t just get scared before going to bed,this thinking goes on and on,CONSTANTLY..there were days where i would think about it the WHOLE DAY,24/7,literally,that’s when i got scared that me thinking about it would actually make something happen.I’ve tried to tell myself it wasn’t real but then this little picture of my religion teacher saying how she knew some girl that this happend to comes to mind and just FREAKS ME OUT!!!!I’m religious so ”good’ vs “evil” comes with the package an that’s what adds to the fear i guess.I finally told my mom what was bothering me (i didn’t want to tell anyone because saying it out loud somehow makes it real),she told me she had the exact same problem when she was younger,for me to tell myself that it’s just like being scared of a dinosaur popping out my window,it’s not going to happen right? so that made me feel better until this llittle voice in my head kept on saying ”it IS real”..i just really want this to stop.I mean,it IS better then let’s say a month ago,but yet it’s still lingering there,some days better than others,but still i get scared that i’m going to imagine some shadows or ect.I mean,who wouldn’t be scared and paranoid if they were thinking about crazy things like this?
I’ll definitely try your meditation tips.
Thanks once again!! :) N.
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Yes Nicole, wait for the next thought. Always wait for the next thought unless you’re thinking ON PURPOSE. Doing this stops this constant mind-chatter. Okay… get CLEAR that what you want is for all of this to not be there.
Christianity has been overlaid with so much garbage about hell and demons and all that rubbish it’s “unreal” :-) If you truly want to know about the teachings of Jesus, then read “The Gospel According to Jesus” by Stephen Mitchell. There’s a lot of explanation in the book all about how this new gospel came about (the need to strip away all this overlaid garbage) and the actual gospel part is only about 10 pages long!!
You can use the Lord’s Prayer for meditation if you like… repeat it very slowly in your head, it’s very effective.
If you think all this garbage is real Nicole you won’t be able to get rid of it because you have given it MEANING, told your mind there is DANGER. Trust me, trust your mum, there is NO DANGER whatsoever. Label the whole thing as “Garbage” which it is. Now when a thought pops about this, label it Garbage and then remove your attention. Simply repeat this and it will soon become a new habit and then the thoughts will die away and stop coming.
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Hi there once again :)
i’m so sorry if i’m annoying you but today i was feeling kind of isolated from the world,sort of trapped in my thoughts,wondering if i’m going to start thinking about those crazy things that sort of just crawl up into my mind without me thinking them. I was wondering if you’ve even heard anyone have this similar “problem”? because i get very nervous thinking i’m most likely the only person to be thinking about …you know what,i don’t even like typing it :P i was also wondering if you have any techniques,any advice on meditation or anything similar?I wasn’t able to go to my school counselor today so i decided to write to you since i really appreciate what you do,writing back to everyone and all.Anyways,looking forward to your reply.
Thanks,Nicole
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Hiya Nicole,
Yes, unwanted thought problems are very very common, so you’re not alone. In fact I would say that the majority of people have trouble with unwanted thoughts. It’s one of those things, one of many, that we’re not taught about — “How to run our minds.” Yet it’s absolutely essential.
Humans like you and me are the descendants of people who evolved in nature, we are a PRODUCT of nature. And so a lot of the ways we trip up is because our minds react in ways designed to protect us in a natural environment. An example of this is the way we freak out watching scary movies. You know, it’s just a movie, just light dancing on a screen and yet your mind reacts as if it were real — not fully obviously, but the movie triggers the same responses albeit in a milder way.
And then the movie makers are using EVERY trick in the book to freak you out. That’s the whole point isn’t it? They’ll say it’s based on a true story so that immediately you label it all as REAL and freak out even more. None of it is real, it’s all rubbish as far as I’m concerned.
The meditation method that I recommend is to simply “listen” for the next thought to pop. What we’re trying to do with meditation is to become rooted in our true self, which is just the simplicity of our being, our natural state actually. If you think back to only a few years ago, to when you were say 5, 6, or 7 years old and remember how you were, you’ll remember that you were freer, you live in the moment and responded spontaneously to what happened. And if you think about what was your essential, ever present experience, you’ll remember that it was simply being, being rooted in the awareness of being, your self.
So that’s all meditation is really, it helps us overcome the problems caused by mind-dominance — too much thinking that becomes out-of-control and sucks in all our attention. Then we lose our self and are aware only of all this damn thinking. That’s why it’s like a dream, or a nightmare, because we lose our self and get lost in thinking, we identify with it, and so we become miserable, life feels like something is wrong, is missing. And it’s the connection to our self that is missing.
And that self that you are is love. Babies are known to have what’s been called the “oceanic feeling”… this expansive awareness rooted deeply in being, in love and they don’t even know they are a separate person until quite a while.
So with meditation you can return to your true sense of self and the deeper you go, the more love there is :-) I just recommend listening for the next thought because it’s so utterly simple and works instantly. At first, it does take quite a lot of intense focus to stop the mind-chatter coming back in, but as you do it more and more, you return to this wonderful peace that is your natural state of being.
And then thinking is a choiceful thing to do, it’s good to think, I do it a lot, it’s creative but if thinking is out-of control, if you can’t stop, then it’s a big, big problem and makes us more and more miserable the more out-of-control we get.
“Look for the next thought” — utterly simple, very effective and you can do it anytime, anywhere. The more you practice, the better you get, and the happier you get.
:-))))))))
Mike
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Hulloo!
I’m not really trying to answer, as someone already answered your question, i’m just here to, kind of, comfort myself and maybe you, that we are not alone….
Like whenever i am left alone ANYWHERE, even home, i just think that behind me or anywhere i my field of vision doesn’t reach, there will be some sort of creppy things happening like a ghost staring at my back or things moving on there own. Ok, let’s stop thinking about that. I am, sometimes, so scared that i have to sit in a basicific corner of the house and see everything around me (sticking to the wall) or else i will have a massive “heart attack”. Any noise that can be heard would freeeak the hell out of me. But whenever i know that someone is in the same room with me (i share a room with my sister) so that even when i can’t see them (closing my eyes) i would feel a lot more better. And also, when i sit in the toilet on my own, i am always scared that there will be something in the mirror. So the thing that i do most of the time is to distract myself, like bring my iPad or a book with me into the washroom (or anywhere i go) and watch comedy or scrolling through things that catch my interest.
I really hope that i can just wash off my memory of those creppy stuff. Makes me waste all my time.
Actually typing this in the washroom right now, sitting on the toilet.
Thanks for reading… (If you did.)
Just…. Not really effectively comforting myself :s
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(Talking to whoever (not only nicole) that has the same problem X(
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Hi Natasha, do you watch scary movies?
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Hi Nicole.
You’re very welcome. I want you to believe that you can be happy, overcome this anxiety and so-on. Nicole, it took me 20 years to figure out how to be happy but you can find out in only 1 hour by reading my book Happy Guide.
Please read it as your next step. It’s important that we’re totally on the same page, that you know and understand what I know about health and happiness. And that will be an amazing spring-board for you to focus on happiness, on what matters.
And then, feel free to come to this post if you need clarity on anything, about dark thoughts, things you may be struggling with etc.
Please read the book, you’ll see that being happy isn’t so hard. It just takes a certain focus onto a few key ideas and pursuing those ideas.
Mike
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Hi Mike,
i got your email, and saw “i thought your story might freak them out a bit…” so automatically i was like omg i’m probably the only one with this problem so that kind of made me nervous. I’m so thankful you replied because it’s nice when someone is directly responding to YOUR message. I just get really jumpy because i know i currently have anxiety and I have been thinking about all kinds of things, stupid but also scary things,like sickness ect. Then when i came upon this subject it just tended to stick,i guess because it’s the ”fear of the unknown” and unlike being afraid of some kind of illness the doctors can tell and prove you otherwise, but with this particular subject it’s quite delicate and just… unknown. I get scared that i’ll never stop thinking about it then go crazy :P so again, i thank you for your message, it helped and knowing there are other people bothered by this subject makes me feel somewhat at ease. I’ll try to follow your advice and just hope for the better.
Thanks once again,
Nicole :)
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