How to get rid of dark thoughts

Nicole asks…

“Wow, I’m so glad I found this website because I’m literally going crazy. Okay, so I’m 18 and my issue all started out with anxiety due to some things, where I started thinking about all these ways I could die, etc…

When that phase passed I was just sitting in my room studying when my sister was listening to some song where it mentioned the devil. I started to think about all those movies I’ve watched, from all the exorcism movies to the paranormal movies and so on. I’ve watched them all because I loved watching horror movies! God knows why. So I started thinking these intense thoughts how that could happen to me, how all those movies were based on a true story, etc.

I get scared even more when I start thinking that me constantly THINKING about it, makes me IMAGINE something, or in some way call out “the bad energies” or whatever…

I’ve seen in a comment on your “scary movie” post where someone as getting up at 3am. I’ve also heard that that’s when the gates of hell open or something, so when I get up during the night the first thing I do is look at the clock, when it’s 3 am I freak out.

I’ve had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, you name it just because of this. I’ve been to counseling and other professional people, but yet no one actually gave me good advice except for breathing techniques that DID help, but the thoughts are still there. I try not to think about it… but if you tell yourself for ex: ‘don’t think about the pig’, you think about the pig, right? :P Please help me :(“

Okay… so… ATTENTION is the volume control for thoughts. That’s the root cause. You’ve been giving attention and meaning to dark thoughts so it’s no surprise that it’s those thoughts that are rattling around your head, and surface on a regular basis…

Not thinking about it is the right thing to do, and also to SEE clearly that attention and MEANING makes thoughts grow. So your attitude is also important and the right attitude is “don’t care.” Whatever comes related to all this horror… “don’t care” then remove attention and all that amounts to ignoring, consistently.

Do the gates of hell open at 3am? NOOO! That’s an example of giving meaning, giving truth and worst of all, giving FEAR to a thought can cause a mental nightmare. Now the first thing you do if you wake up is look at the clock… because you made it IMPORTANT, you feared it and so it’s right there in the forefront of your mind.

The only bad energy you call forth is the bad energy you feel when thinking dark thoughts, but you are in control so make a clear and calm decision… “I will not feed my mind any more horror, I will not think about this or any related subject any more.”

Don’t think of a pig yes, or what we like to call “the pink elephant” :-) Can’t be done can it? The trick is to put your attention somewhere else. So if I say “Don’t think of a pig” you immediately think of a cow. That’s the only way to keep piggy out!

So make this decision “NO MORE” and if it pops into your mind, have a don’t care attitude and put attention elsewhere.

Now drop THE PROBLEM because that is more attention. The end-goal is that these thoughts aren’t there and you’re not even aware they’re not there, they’re just NOT THERE.

For that to happen, remove meaning and attention every time a thought pops, give these thoughts the cold, cold, shoulder.

If any thoughts FEEL true, FEEL like they demand attention, then use reason at first to see… “It’s just a silly movie” “The 3am thing is garbage, I’m totally safe.” Thoughts aren’t true, they come with the quality you previously gave, that is all. So thoughts that seem true get told a new truth “Silly movie” etc, every time they come. And soon enough, you’ll see that the idea of 3am, rather than feel true feels like a lie, because that’s the new quality you now give repeatedly because of your new understanding. And it is a lie, so you’re safe to give it that quality.

Dark thought >> new truth if needed >> don’t care attitude >> remove attention quickly. Repeat until forgotten.

And… stop putting dark thoughts IN and then dark thoughts won’t come OUT. Garbage in, garbage out.

Oh and… these so called “based on a true story movies”… NOT TRUE, that’s all you need to know, trust me, they’re not true and you can trust that.

Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird

Free chapter

Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.

It only takes an hour to read and it’ll show you both what to change and how to change.

Read Chapter 1 “The Happiness Secret”
Or get the paperback…

Get a free happiness tip from Happy Guide every day. Great for staying on track to a happier, healthier life...

35 thoughts on “How to get rid of dark thoughts

  1. Hi Mike,

    i got your email, and saw “i thought your story might freak them out a bit…” so automatically i was like omg i’m probably the only one with this problem so that kind of made me nervous. I’m so thankful you replied because it’s nice when someone is directly responding to YOUR message. I just get really jumpy because i know i currently have anxiety and I have been thinking about all kinds of things, stupid but also scary things,like sickness ect. Then when i came upon this subject it just tended to stick,i guess because it’s the ”fear of the unknown” and unlike being afraid of some kind of illness the doctors can tell and prove you otherwise, but with this particular subject it’s quite delicate and just… unknown. I get scared that i’ll never stop thinking about it then go crazy :P so again, i thank you for your message, it helped and knowing there are other people bothered by this subject makes me feel somewhat at ease. I’ll try to follow your advice and just hope for the better.

    Thanks once again,
    Nicole :)

  2. Hi Nicole.

    You’re very welcome. I want you to believe that you can be happy, overcome this anxiety and so-on. Nicole, it took me 20 years to figure out how to be happy but you can find out in only 1 hour by reading my book Happy Guide.

    Please read it as your next step. It’s important that we’re totally on the same page, that you know and understand what I know about health and happiness. And that will be an amazing spring-board for you to focus on happiness, on what matters.

    And then, feel free to come to this post if you need clarity on anything, about dark thoughts, things you may be struggling with etc.

    Please read the book, you’ll see that being happy isn’t so hard. It just takes a certain focus onto a few key ideas and pursuing those ideas.

    Mike

  3. Hi there once again :)
    i’m so sorry if i’m annoying you but today i was feeling kind of isolated from the world,sort of trapped in my thoughts,wondering if i’m going to start thinking about those crazy things that sort of just crawl up into my mind without me thinking them. I was wondering if you’ve even heard anyone have this similar “problem”? because i get very nervous thinking i’m most likely the only person to be thinking about …you know what,i don’t even like typing it :P i was also wondering if you have any techniques,any advice on meditation or anything similar?I wasn’t able to go to my school counselor today so i decided to write to you since i really appreciate what you do,writing back to everyone and all.Anyways,looking forward to your reply.
    Thanks,Nicole

    1. Hiya Nicole,

      Yes, unwanted thought problems are very very common, so you’re not alone. In fact I would say that the majority of people have trouble with unwanted thoughts. It’s one of those things, one of many, that we’re not taught about — “How to run our minds.” Yet it’s absolutely essential.

      Humans like you and me are the descendants of people who evolved in nature, we are a PRODUCT of nature. And so a lot of the ways we trip up is because our minds react in ways designed to protect us in a natural environment. An example of this is the way we freak out watching scary movies. You know, it’s just a movie, just light dancing on a screen and yet your mind reacts as if it were real — not fully obviously, but the movie triggers the same responses albeit in a milder way.

      And then the movie makers are using EVERY trick in the book to freak you out. That’s the whole point isn’t it? They’ll say it’s based on a true story so that immediately you label it all as REAL and freak out even more. None of it is real, it’s all rubbish as far as I’m concerned.

      The meditation method that I recommend is to simply “listen” for the next thought to pop. What we’re trying to do with meditation is to become rooted in our true self, which is just the simplicity of our being, our natural state actually. If you think back to only a few years ago, to when you were say 5, 6, or 7 years old and remember how you were, you’ll remember that you were freer, you live in the moment and responded spontaneously to what happened. And if you think about what was your essential, ever present experience, you’ll remember that it was simply being, being rooted in the awareness of being, your self.

      So that’s all meditation is really, it helps us overcome the problems caused by mind-dominance — too much thinking that becomes out-of-control and sucks in all our attention. Then we lose our self and are aware only of all this damn thinking. That’s why it’s like a dream, or a nightmare, because we lose our self and get lost in thinking, we identify with it, and so we become miserable, life feels like something is wrong, is missing. And it’s the connection to our self that is missing.

      And that self that you are is love. Babies are known to have what’s been called the “oceanic feeling”… this expansive awareness rooted deeply in being, in love and they don’t even know they are a separate person until quite a while.

      So with meditation you can return to your true sense of self and the deeper you go, the more love there is :-) I just recommend listening for the next thought because it’s so utterly simple and works instantly. At first, it does take quite a lot of intense focus to stop the mind-chatter coming back in, but as you do it more and more, you return to this wonderful peace that is your natural state of being.

      And then thinking is a choiceful thing to do, it’s good to think, I do it a lot, it’s creative but if thinking is out-of control, if you can’t stop, then it’s a big, big problem and makes us more and more miserable the more out-of-control we get.

      “Look for the next thought” — utterly simple, very effective and you can do it anytime, anywhere. The more you practice, the better you get, and the happier you get.

      :-))))))))

      Mike

    2. Hulloo!
      I’m not really trying to answer, as someone already answered your question, i’m just here to, kind of, comfort myself and maybe you, that we are not alone….
      Like whenever i am left alone ANYWHERE, even home, i just think that behind me or anywhere i my field of vision doesn’t reach, there will be some sort of creppy things happening like a ghost staring at my back or things moving on there own. Ok, let’s stop thinking about that. I am, sometimes, so scared that i have to sit in a basicific corner of the house and see everything around me (sticking to the wall) or else i will have a massive “heart attack”. Any noise that can be heard would freeeak the hell out of me. But whenever i know that someone is in the same room with me (i share a room with my sister) so that even when i can’t see them (closing my eyes) i would feel a lot more better. And also, when i sit in the toilet on my own, i am always scared that there will be something in the mirror. So the thing that i do most of the time is to distract myself, like bring my iPad or a book with me into the washroom (or anywhere i go) and watch comedy or scrolling through things that catch my interest.
      I really hope that i can just wash off my memory of those creppy stuff. Makes me waste all my time.
      Actually typing this in the washroom right now, sitting on the toilet.
      Thanks for reading… (If you did.)
      Just…. Not really effectively comforting myself :s

  4. “look for the next thought” .. by saying that do you mean wait for the next bad thought to pop in my mind? it’s really funny because before i’ve never been bothered by this subject,i mean,yes,it’s disturbing,and yes,i would’t be able to sleep a night or two after watching those kind of movies,but that would pass.I would even find that interesting or whatever.
    SO,to conclude,my intense thinking about this hasn’t appeared RIGHT AFTER watching any scary movie,it was just triggered by a simple song.The thinking was a lot worse around christmas time,i don’t know why.I was just going crazy,had full blown panic attacks before going to bed.And i don’t just get scared before going to bed,this thinking goes on and on,CONSTANTLY..there were days where i would think about it the WHOLE DAY,24/7,literally,that’s when i got scared that me thinking about it would actually make something happen.I’ve tried to tell myself it wasn’t real but then this little picture of my religion teacher saying how she knew some girl that this happend to comes to mind and just FREAKS ME OUT!!!!I’m religious so ”good’ vs “evil” comes with the package an that’s what adds to the fear i guess.I finally told my mom what was bothering me (i didn’t want to tell anyone because saying it out loud somehow makes it real),she told me she had the exact same problem when she was younger,for me to tell myself that it’s just like being scared of a dinosaur popping out my window,it’s not going to happen right? so that made me feel better until this llittle voice in my head kept on saying ”it IS real”..i just really want this to stop.I mean,it IS better then let’s say a month ago,but yet it’s still lingering there,some days better than others,but still i get scared that i’m going to imagine some shadows or ect.I mean,who wouldn’t be scared and paranoid if they were thinking about crazy things like this?
    I’ll definitely try your meditation tips.
    Thanks once again!! :) N.

    1. Yes Nicole, wait for the next thought. Always wait for the next thought unless you’re thinking ON PURPOSE. Doing this stops this constant mind-chatter. Okay… get CLEAR that what you want is for all of this to not be there.

      Christianity has been overlaid with so much garbage about hell and demons and all that rubbish it’s “unreal” :-) If you truly want to know about the teachings of Jesus, then read “The Gospel According to Jesus” by Stephen Mitchell. There’s a lot of explanation in the book all about how this new gospel came about (the need to strip away all this overlaid garbage) and the actual gospel part is only about 10 pages long!!

      You can use the Lord’s Prayer for meditation if you like… repeat it very slowly in your head, it’s very effective.

      If you think all this garbage is real Nicole you won’t be able to get rid of it because you have given it MEANING, told your mind there is DANGER. Trust me, trust your mum, there is NO DANGER whatsoever. Label the whole thing as “Garbage” which it is. Now when a thought pops about this, label it Garbage and then remove your attention. Simply repeat this and it will soon become a new habit and then the thoughts will die away and stop coming.

  5. Hi Mike, I just have a question… why do i feel fine a week or so then the thoughts come back worse than ever? i mean, the thought is always on the back of my mind and i tend to connect it to almost everything i do, or if i feel odd one day i start freaking. out that something “paranormal” is happening to me… but it is a lot better than it was a month ago. all together this has been lasting for about two months, is that normal? and how to ignore the thoughts when they’re simply just horrible and scary? i always stop and ask myself why the heck did i just think/say that. p.s thanks for replying to my previous messages :)

    1. Hi Nicole,

      If you’ve had some relief from unwanted thoughts then it can FEEL worse if it comes back because now there is greater CONTRAST. But if you’ve had relief from these thoughts you’re in a good place to move forward, because on/off is much better than being totally dominated by your thoughts and not knowing how to stop it. So now you’ve experienced a little bit of how it feels to “be fine” and that feels a whole lots better doesn’t it? So, now commit to letting go of it altogether and never thinking about it again.

      Did you read Happy Guide? This whole focus on the paranormal is also tied to generally high anxiety levels and everything affects everything else. Happy Guide has EVERYTHING you need to be happy and healthy Nicole, please read it and then you’ll know exactly what you need to do, why, and how.

      Like it says in our unwanted thoughts article, there is the question of “can you DO it?” Can you remove attention from unwanted thoughts. And so that’s where meditation and all the other tools in Happy Guide come in. You learn the tools to say yes or no to thoughts and that will be a great thing for your whole life.

      As you paid attention to scary movies, they’ve got you believing a lot of stuff that is just garbage. So please label it all garbage when it pops, and have that “don’t care” attitude we talked about. Here a reminder of what you need to do…

      1. Decide you’re not going to think about the paranormal anymore.
      2. Ignore every single occurrence of any thought to do with it.
      3. Learn the tools you need to be in the best physical and mental shape possible — read and do Happy Guide.

      Even committing to meditation alone would be incredibly powerful for you, because you learn where the off switch is for thinking. Without this grounding, we feel we’re constantly adrift, sucked into thoughts without control, slaves to our thought habits. So please commit to meditation — see the Live in the Moment chapter — and all the other tools in Happy Guide, and you’ll see the back of this problem for good and prevent other problems that come from not living right and not thinking right in the future.

  6. Hi again,i’ll be purchasing the Happy Guide pretty soon but in the meantime i decided to write to you since i have no idea why i got really scared again yesterday and today it’s even worse.I took this book my mom said it would be good for me to read,”The power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale,and found this chapter “how to get rid of the worry habit”…i was reading it until it came up to this part and i quote : “Fear something over a long period of time and there is a real possibility that by fearing yo may actually help bring it to pass”.This totally freaked me out and from then on i’ve been feeling really weird…kind of dizzy,almost like i’m floating, hm,kind of hard to explain.I got so freaked out that i decided to check up “fear of demons” on the internet..and I KNOW i shouldn’t of done that,because now it has scared me even more,since i found some fourm where some people were talking about their experiences…and also said that fear is the thing that draws it to you.Now i’m more scared than ever and my problem is that i look at that happening as a possibility. I litterally don’t know what to do anymore,and I know that this might be funny to some people. It’ll probably be funny to me with time,but right now it’s just so real and frightening.I haven’t seen any ghosts,demons,ect…but i don’t know why i have this constant fear and why it went away for a few weeks and came back all of the sudden.Like i said,my problem is that i look at it as being real,and i know know how to look at it as being non existent and makebelive.

    1. Hi Nicole,

      Yes we do create what we fear but not in your case. What this means is that say by fearing that your boyfriend will cheat on you, it changes the way you interact in such a way that you will begin to bring about the thing you fear. What you fear, you notice, it dominates your awareness.

      You are creating the thing you fear in the sense that your life is currently dominated by this idea, and you will start to associate it with things, events more and more. And so it becomes your reality in that sense. Your life is really the total of what you have been aware of, your experience. And as you continue to fear this, pay attention, give it meaning, then that is your experience.

      Re-framing your thoughts around this is good to do. If you can strip away the beliefs then it’s a lot easier to let go because you just won’t pay attention to something that meaningless. But re-framing is hard, I would need to talk to you, perhaps for a long time, to help you to see it as meaningless. The quicker way is to simply TRUST me that you are safe to let this go. Just trust me that it’s all meaningless. And then faith is rewarded by experience. You will gradually calm down, thoughts will die-away and soon enough become like a distant memory.

      The only thing you need to do right now as I’ve said a few times, is to DECIDE to drop it. Nothing bad will happen — trust me. And then remove attention, which means pay attention to OTHER STUFF.

      Seriously… you need to get this out of your thinking, your awareness, your experience. DECIDE to do it, then simply do it by removing meaning and attention every single time. It’s THAT simple. It has no meaning because I said so, so trust THAT, it’s the fastest way. Then starve the whole thing of attention.

      Without your attention, where is it?

  7. Gahhh,i know i shouldn’t pay attention to it,but like i said my problem is that i look at it like something that actually happens to people,and after seeing that website where people were saying how they were scared of the same thing and this one girl heard growling when she would say “Jesus Christ” that was it for me..that triggered this whole other fear on another level.I just feel like i’m losing it

    1. DECIDE… NO MORE ATTENTION. That is all you need to do. Like you say, this thing triggered your mind to recall it all, give it meaning, ramp it up.

      You have the power of choice and you choose with your attention.

      That’s all you really need to know Nicole. No attention, it doesn’t exist, it has no life. You can’t forget something if you keep giving it attention.

      It’s all garbage, just simply TRUST that, and now, remove all attention.

  8. I never watch horror movies (I am 12) and I still am getting things like an orc/demon getting a dagger plunged straiht through his head and yes… (*-*) happens!

  9. Hello Micheal, i have read the comment you gave nicole, that’s exactly what is happening with me (not the part waking up at 3am however having a lot of dark thoughts), i keep imaging things and that something is behind me or looking at me, it’s really creepy, i even start running by myself.
    If i tried to talk with someone about it they will think i am silly,, i am gonna try the advice you gave nicole cause this is really annoying, i wish i don’t have this phobia.. is there any thing else i can do about it,, please advice :(

    Thank you

  10. Hi Amanda, the trick is to “reach the point of letting go” and from that point, ignore every thought about it consistently. You reach the point of letting go by understanding that there is nothing to fear, that the fear you feel is just a primitive way the brain works and that it is not serving you in this case. Once you are clear, then the understanding trumps the fear. Every time it comes, you just remember your understanding and focus attention somewhere else.

    I’ve explained more about irrational fear here: https://happy.guide/2011/12/07/irrational-fear/

    Have a read of that, and it will give you the understanding of why we have irrational fear.

    So once you are happy that you don’t need all these thoughts, then simply ignoring all of them tells your unconscious mind that the “danger” is gone, and they will stop coming

  11. Also Amanda, if you are sensitive and tend to react like this after horror movies and other media like news, then it’s best to avoid. Your brain is basically interpreting your experience in a way that means “there is danger.” And that is why we can freak out after watching some movies. We KNOW it’s just a movie, yet the primitive part of the brain still freaks out, reacts to it as if it were real.

    Here’s another article that explains about scary movies: https://happy.guide/2008/09/01/scary-movie/

  12. Ok question!! So I had this thought several years ago with a terrible fearful emotion that popped in my head “what if everything is a dream nothing is real” for years I have had all kinds of what if thoughts answers questions and of course fear pop into my mind!!! I don’t want these questions or answers to be there it’s like my mind sees this as a problem and when I try to use logic example of course I’m not dreaming duh my mind will send me a thought yeah but what if????! And it will list it’s reasons nothing could be real!!! Why is my mind doing This???!why does is make up all these answers and what if questions? I don’t purposely think them they just come to me!

    1. Hi Randi, Your mind is running the fear program. Your initial reaction to the thought was fear, so it doesn’t matter whether it is a thought you’re scared of, or a lion, the mind will react in the same way, not with logic. It’s actually an anti-logic state, flight or flight, or manic “problem solving.” Your mind will keep showing you the thing you fear, because your attitude is that there is danger. This is primitive. By understanding what’s happening, you can decide to simply ignore all thoughts with a don’t care attitude (the opposite of fear), which communicates to the unconscious that the “danger” is gone. After that, the thoughts die away if you remain consistent in the new meaning and ignoring.

      1. I have read alt about people having the same thought over and over although I do have that I also have new related thoughts…I will try not to care and then my mind will say hey u haven’t considered this angle!!! And it creates a thought and bam it pops into my mind before I can stop it!!! Is this my mind trying to trick me into thinking by coming up with new related thoughts to torment me with?

      2. No, your mind isn’t trying to trick you. If you think about real life dangers and fear related to them, the mind will want you to look at all angles. As I said, it’s quite a primitive function evolved to protect us from life threatening danger. Also, these things become habits. If you simply want the thoughts to stop coming, then you just stop caring and looking for meaning. That’s one of the pitfalls, the big pitfalls actually… people understandably want to know what these thoughts MEAN. They mean you feared and ran the fear program and got good at doing that the more you did it. Trauma can also cause fear flashes which can be quite disturbing, but when you understand what it is, then the relaxation you get from that understanding is part of the letting go process — it enables you to look at flashes, anxiety, thoughts etc from a new position of knowing and relaxation about it all. Also, understanding that it dies away will give you relaxation, because you know what to expect, so as it continues a while, reducing in frequency and intensity generally over time, you don’t freak out that it’s still there. Imagine with real dangers, like lions say, your mind will KEEP showing you what YOU SAID was danger, to make sure you are still sure the danger is gone.

      3. Hey I know it’s been a while but I have another question….I have tried ur method and the what if questions seem to shout at me….sometimes it’s the same questions, sometimes it new questions or new thoughts that relate to the same topic of my fear it’s not one or two either it’s a lot of thoughts, lots what if this or that’s …sometimes it’s just a feeling of doubt…..but they are so strong!! It’s like my mind is convinced nothing is real and try’s it’s best to convince my conscious mind that I should believe it by telling me a million different ways….how do I deal with the doubt and fear? It’s hard to ignore an emotion that says believe every thought that comes thru ur head…..sometimes I feel like I’m living a lie like I’m already crazy but I know deep down that I don’t believe my thoughts but I get this feeling as though I do

      4. Hi Randi, have another read of Michael’s answers if needed, to understand the fear / sense of importance connection. Also, it’s probable that you have setup the conditions for this kind of issue, in your life. Are you living in a calm, relaxed way? Are you getting enough healthy food, sleep, exercise? Are you practicing “listening”? All these things matter.

        Although ignore/don’t care is the answer “in the moment,” it’s also important to remove the causes of this type of issue. By changing your state, you allow your mind to relax, to feel that all is well, that you are SAFE. It’s easy to fall into the trap of living in a kind of permanent low-level stress. In this mode, your mind feels that there is a certain danger present, as Michael mentioned, and so it keeps looking at things from new angles, it keeps “reeling,” looking for solutions to the “danger”. By setting up a relaxed way of life, it’s much easier to ignore the thoughts and allow your mind to realize that the “danger” has passed.

  13. Hi dear all,

    I have had trouble from time to time with negative and confusing thoughts of fear of hurting myself etc. It feels like they are coming from outside, not from myself. Like someone is sending negativity towards me and in those times I just feel like I want it to stop.

    I have been managing somehow, but its very unpleasant and it brings a lot of tension in my life.

    Please share some insight if you can. Thanks a million.

    LL

    1. Hi Liuba, it may feel like they’re coming from outside but they’re not. These thoughts are created out of your overall state and by giving them attention and a sense of importance (this is completely understandable, they SEEM important).

      The best thing to do is follow the advice in the article. Remove attention and importance from these ideas by ignoring them, not caring about them, no matter how important they may seem. Thoughts come back depending on how we react to them, what sense of importance we give them. So “don’t care” / ignore is always the answer.

      Please also bear in mind that your whole lifestyle affects your thinking. it’s important to setup your life so that you can live in a healthy, calm, relaxed way. A hectic lifestyle for example, is conducive to stress and tension and this can play havoc with your thinking. Rational thought is very difficult in that state. Here is the “big stuff” of health and happiness. When you put these things in place, you’ll have both health and peace of mind, which results in what can only be described as “happiness for no reason”…

      https://happy.guide/2009/12/05/big-stuff

      Let me know what you think.

      Best wishes,
      James

  14. Dear James,

    Thank you for your kind attention and guidance. The trouble is that these thought are always accompanied by a body sensation, a feeling, that is difficult to ignore. Like a very dark cloud, or pressure somewhere in my body (head, stomach). And I say they seem to be coming from “outside”, because they literally smash me out of nowhere. I keep telling myself that a feeling is just a feeling, but I would prefer to get rid of this for good. I know it sounds wired, but it is exactly what is happening.

    I wish you all the best,

    LL

    1. You’re very welcome Liuba. I can’t be 100% sure but that sounds to me like little “waves” of anxiety. I used to experience something very similar and it does feel “external” like it’s come out of nowhere. The answer is to remove all worries and causes of anxiety. All 6 lifestyle elements are important of course, but I’d definitely prioritize “listening” as we call it, and meditation. Achieving a still, peaceful mind is an absolute blessing :)

      https://happy.guide/2010/10/13/what-does-meditation-do
      https://happy.guide/2011/10/27/start-meditating

      Best wishes,
      James

      1. James, thanks again. I will do a bit of reading and some effort on my side, hopefully in the right direction. All will be fine after a while…

        Regards,
        LL

      2. James and all,

        Already I can share some miniature progress. I was not quite sure I understood the “ignore” and “don’t care” concept, I can’t hide I was struggling with that, but today I think I had a flash of “ahaaa” and is something like this: it all starts from saying “yes” in you mind to whatever it is you are scared of will happen or to whatever it is the person that stresses you wants. Agreeing and accepting it prevents you from fighting and once you stop fighting you will no longer be attached and you can simply say ” I don’t care.” Accepting the worse gives you some freedom, because you are no longer scared.

        Greetings,
        LL

      3. Hi Liuba, as you practice living in the moment and awareness it becomes simpler than any thought like “don’t care” and “acceptance.” Acceptance is non-resistance to what is, and simple relaxed awareness of what is without resistance (a thought) is full acceptance. Now your ACTION, or words are coming from “authentic you” rather than distorted by concepts (shoulds, needs. wants. judgements). To get stable in the state all you need to do is OBSERVE everything that is not that (fear, thoughts, judgements etc).

        Since love is who you are underneath all the ego noise, then what you move into is “love in action” being authentically yourself. So then you realize that you don’t need to control anything on the level of thoughts, rules, behaviours, because the authentic you is so much more spontaneous, smarter and loving than you could ever “think” yourself to be. And you become amazed at how creative the unconscious you can be as you spontaneously and effortlessly respond to situations.

        In a sense, it is ALLOWING the unconscious creative part of you to function fully, and your conscious self is the witness and experiencer of the creative higher self. If that makes sense. It is wholeness.

        So to move into that state, observe everything… your moods, thoughts, reactions, tantrums, all of it. By observing it, you are not BEING it, and so you are bringing the light of awareness to it, which transforms. And soon your aligned thoughts become extremely helpful, insightful and timely. All by just simple awareness. So don’t care and acceptance are tools to release beliefs and resistance that are keeping you stuck in a mind-identified, controlling state, but for what you are talking about there, simple awareness is a better way to go, just watch it, watch your reactions, your thoughts. Watch it all.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s