Rebecca asks…
“Can you help, I’m 20 and ever since I was 16 and watched Nightmare on Elm Street for my high school exams, I constantly think Freddie Krueger will come for me. There’s no pattern and thoughts just appear — I try to distract myself but I end up in one room of my house on my own with my son too scared to move.
Doctors won’t help; they just keep saying it will go with time, but it’s not going. Please help if you can — I can’t live any more days in fear.”
There are lions
The way your mind reacts to danger is primitive… that’s important to understand. So when you get immersed into a scary movie and imagine yourself as a victim of Freddie, your mind reacts in a way to protect you as if the danger was real — like if you saw a lion in real life. The more immersed into the movie you get, the more you suspend reality, the greater the response…
The initial response is often “fight or flight” which is a good state to save your life if you saw a lion… your body gets ready to run or fight. Intense danger could also cause you to become petrified — again, another reaction to save your life, because in nature, animals like lions react to movement, to something running away, so if you become petrified, this reaction in wild animals doesn’t happen and it can save your life.
As an aside, this happens to me if I climb too high, which is really a dysfunctional reaction because then I’m simply stuck up a cliff with no way to move! I’m just telling you that to show you that the way we react to fear is not always appropriate, it’s just an instinct, just primitive.
So, your initial fear is just primitive and if you clearly saw that “it was only a movie” and ignored your fear and your thoughts about it, it would go away in time, as your doctors said, and as is the case for most people who watch scary movies.
BUT, if you give the thoughts meaning and attention, keep imagining yourself as a victim, keep remembering the horror, then you make powerful thought habits that keep on triggering the primitive response in you. The horror will build and grow within you because we get really good at creating thoughts we repeat and give meaning to.
And the greatest meaning you can give is “I am in danger, my life is in danger.” Then, you will see the dangerous thing vividly in your experience and begin to associate with lots of other things to create triggers for the memory of the dangerous thing.
There are no lions
So to turn this around, you need to do the opposite of what you have been doing. For your mind to help you relax, you need to give it clear and consistent messages that the danger is gone.
You need to see the fear as not relevant any more… “There are no lions.” The picture left is the actor who played Freddie Kreuger in the original Nightmare on Elm Street movie. Just an actor, wearing make-up.
The movie is just a movie, not real, so have a think and get clear about that. “Just a movie, just an actor.” Now, every time a thought about it comes, recall this new clarity “Just a movie” and remove your attention, put your attention onto other things as quickly as possible.
So, your new “don’t care” attitude and your consistently removing attention will tell your mind “There are no lions, I am safe.”
BE CONSISTENT in ignoring any thought to do with this from now on. Every single time, ignore, remove attention. Don’t ponder it, hold it down, look for it, fight it, imagine it — NO attention.
Be clear and consistent… “There are no lions.”
If you get a fear flash, or you feel scared, remember “Just a movie,” and pay attention elsewhere. So it doesn’t matter whether it’s thoughts or feelings, the response from you is the same.
“Just a movie,” and remove attention, every single time.
And make sure you’re looking after yourself… enough sleep, good food and so-on, because when we’re under pressure in any way — tired, under-nourished and so-on, then our minds become more automatic and it gets harder to override the programming.
Stick with this new way consistently and look after your health, and these disturbing thoughts will die away gradually, coming less and less until they’re gone, they just don’t come anymore and you’re not even aware they’re not coming, they just aren’t there. That’s what we’re after… forgetting.
Good luck!
Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird
Happy Guide 
sorry happy guide i have autism and i got a bit fast.
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hello happy guide. i am a boy i just used my hops account and i just played killing floor with zombies i am 15 and i had dreams of zombies chasing me and i was nervous about the zombie apocalypse and i am nervous about a friend turning into a zombie and my mom and dad getting killed yes i have a phobia about my mom and dad being killed or being nowhere so i just cried to my dad about my dream i had to spend a hour hugging him what do i do? i am in fear right now so help QUICKLY!!
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Hi Justin,
Go here for quick tips — it’s about movies but it applies exactly the same to your situation…
https://happy.guide/2008/09/01/scary-movie
Mike
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Hey Mike,
About the movie [Wicked Attraction] when ever i just act like the movie is fake, it’s like a tv show on tv. It doesn’t have a Behind The Scenes stuff, so i always think it’s real, i tried to not think about it, but when i go to bed, the images/thoughts always pop up to my mind.
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Hi Amanda, see the scary movie post for tips for what to do at bedtime…
https://happy.guide/2008/09/01/scary-movie
Read all the FAQ :-) Use the relaxation method to take attention out of your head and continue to remember “just a movie” and distract for every single occurrence of a movie thought.
Mike
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I suffer a similar problem, except it’s usually after playing video games. I’m 19 and enjoy video games. But, I also have a touch of ADHD and OCD, so if I see certain images that particularly disturb me, it takes so long to get them out of my head, and yes, it disrupts my sleep too. The image will pop up, and I’ll feel intense anxiety or get really cold or shaky. It’s annoying and frankly, really embarrassing. -_-
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Hi Jen,
Learning how to live right, and how to think right is the answer to your problems — as well as perhaps not feeding your mind with disturbing images, but I know that’s not always easy if it’s what your friends are into. I recommend reading Happy Guide and you’ll be in no doubt about what you need to do. Here’s a few of articles that I think will help you…
https://happy.guide/2012/05/31/automatic-health
https://happy.guide/2009/12/14/20-years-of-ocd-cured-in-2-days
https://happy.guide/2011/10/27/start-meditating
…and there’s loads more stuff on this website, so feel free to browse around and get clear about what works.
Meditation is an incredibly powerful thing to do and will help you to overcome ADHD and OCD, especially when combined with getting the best nutrition, sleeping well, removing worries, learning what to do “in the moment” when you get unwanted thoughts etc. It’s about your lifestyle Jen, learning to live right and think right.
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Hi sorry I don’t know how to make a question here. I have just watched a very scary movie even though I terrified of the dark and horror. It’s freaks me out at night and I know it’s just a movie and I’ve seen what the actors look like. I also know about how the mind works which makes you think like it’s really happening (fight or flight). Please help me it’s very scary for me and a wake up at night a lot :(
Gabi
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Hi Gabi, follow the tips in the following article — they’ll get you back to feeling normal in the shortest possible time :-)
https://happy.guide/2008/09/01/scary-movie
Best wishes,
James
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I watch scary movies all the time and I’m fine watching them and after, too. But when it hits me, it’s when I’m about to go to bed. I try to block it out by counting sheep. But it never works. I also have fears of people breaking into my house. That type of deal. I need ways on how I can try and fall asleep alone and stop worrying so much about all these things.
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Hi Ekaterina,
The best way to stop it is to stop watching horror because by watching you are triggering instinctive responses that you then need to deal with. Better not to trigger them to begin with.
But once you have, then you need to calm these responses by using reason. It’s just a movie right? So you keep remembering that when you get a fear flash or something goes bump in the night. You remember that what you’re experiencing is an instinctive reaction and that you aren’t in any real danger. Once remembered you calmly take your attention away and then repeat as necessary.
If you get REALLY scared so that you’re adrenaline is pumping, then exercise is the only way to get a quick recovery. That’s because you’re in a flight or flight state, and the natural way to deal with that is to pretend to either fight or flight.
Have a look at this other post for more tips to deal with the aftershock of scary movies.
Mike
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