Ahsan asks…
“The progress is ok, but I need a finishing touch to really end this. By finishing touch I mean a killer to really end the whole of it. The thoughts are an “on and off” kind of situation and sometimes I am able to ignore but sometimes they still bother me.
It’s happened before that I think I have found a solution and then these thoughts get back again. The problem is that I am still feeling uncomfortable. I want to feel free, relaxed and light but there is still a kind of mental barrier.”
Please, please understand that this progress is immensely important. You should be overjoyed at this progress.
There is no killer other than “no importance — distract”, provided any supporting beliefs have been deconstructed — which is the case with you, since you know these thoughts are silly.
This simple method IS the killer but please, please be patient, consistent and calm about applying it…
KNOW that this method will result in the end of these unwanted thoughts that have plagued you for so long and that this knowledge and feeling will give you the calmness you need.
On and off is wonderful. Much easier to deal with on and off. When they come, simply notice the thought forming, give no importance and distract, remove attention back to what you were doing…
Relax, seriously. DIRECTION is everything and progress means the right direction. If you get frustrated, that is more attention. If you get disturbed that is more attention and you risk ramping the whole thing up again.
Stay calm and faithful, apply the method with absolute consistency and you will see the end of this — the forgetting of unwanted thoughts.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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so i dont require a doctor right? and i also think that it might get more complicated by even thinking of going there but the problem is that sometimes the thoughts dont let me handle my self??
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hi mike,
i have had alot of relief over the last few days although today i again felt really disturbed , apart from your advices other things also helped me like ( telling my self can religion be changed just by thinking) but i have become more desperate because its like so near yet so far kind of a situation, mike some times i also think of going to a psychiatrist but i am hesitant because then i also have to tell my family about it and they wont understand it and the psychiatrist would also not do any magic or would he ?, if these are really the only techniques , is there really a need to go there because i dont want to go there as money matters them more , plz guide me what i should do now as you have really guided me in difficult times ,plz reply
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Well, You are reluctant to see a specialist so why not try to continue since you have found relief. Relief means right direction and direction is everything. What you must do is persist with faith and drop the whole problem. As well as this, look after all the other lifestyle elements in Happy Guide. Specialist help is always going to be there if you need it and that thought can comfort you but for now, why not continue?
Drop the whole problem, stop trying to think a way out. More thinking won’t help… remember the end-state… “no thoughts arise to do with this” so how can more thinking help? Whatever comes… no importance, distract… WHATEVER COMES. Let it go.
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I am holding your desire for you Ahsan. I know what you want. You can release everything, you can let go. I have it. I will not let go of it… you can let go.
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hi mike,
i want to go to that end state as well, but had it been in my control i would have gone there, but alot of disturabances dont really let you settle ,new sort of thoughts keep arising which unsettle me, now i am worried that i might get wasted just because of these thoughts and might be failed in life because i am always disturbed and there is no motivation for me left in my life , hence i am just living just for the sake that i have to pass the time and life will end , mike sometimes i have felt better that state doesnt stay on , mike even i have started feeling that you get disturbed by my mails but u have been a great help thats why i mail you , plz tell me how to live my life now
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Hi Ahsan,
As powerful as attention is, it is only one factor. Thoughts arrive out of your “base mood” and their quality reflects this. You must DO IT ALL. Everything matters. Read and re-read Happy Guide until you are crystal clear. That is how to live your life. It is the FOUNDATION of a happy life.
Put your attention THERE. The answer is THERE. See your lifestyle blueprint with exceptional clarity and move into that. The answers are SIMPLE but you MUST pay attention, you must get clear, you must focus on the things that are going to move you forward, you must have faith in that finish-line.
Read, read, read… get clear and take steps.
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hi mike,
just wanted to tell you about my current situation,mike i think i am dealing quite ok with my problem and i am trying to forget it but its not getting out of my mind , i know to ignore them but now there should be a point that they should completely vanish from my mind but the major worry is that i dont think that they can get out of my mind because its like any other habit like i have been biting my nails from my child hood and still do but this habit doesnt bother me but the thing which worries me is how long these thoughts would remain in my mind, mike plz dont get fed up of me i am trying to work on ur advice
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If you are worried it will not go, how can it go? That is attention. Not only that — it is attention with FEAR attached — a guarantee that you will be constantly reminded!
What is the end-state Ahsan…? ponder it. What will your life BE LIKE when you have “won.”
No arising thoughts, no awareness that there ever was a problem (unless someone was to cause you to remember by asking you about it).
So go DIRECTLY there. Make it happen. Make the end-condition happen. Do it by quickly removing ATTENTION when your mind tries to go there. Do it by seeing INTO this problem — that it only exists because you continue to fear it, worry about it, pay attention to it.
To stop biting nails, you first create awareness of the behavior… say by painting foul tasting stuff on your nails. Then a new habit of awareness comes in. Then you can REDIRECT that automatic behavior, the energy behind it, the habit, is redirected AWAY.
The same is true for unwanted thoughts… awareness, interruption, re-direction… a new habit that completely bypasses the old and redirects the energy behind it when it’s triggered.
Keep faithful, go directly to the end-state, the FORGETTING of unwanted thoughts by removing attention and importance to them. TRUST the method. It cannot fail if you persist!
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thnx mike,
i am working hard on this technique. remain in touch as u have been great help
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