I often write about my friend who has “OCD” — obsessive compulsive disorder. Because the issues he faces are the same ones we all face.
His are just more extreme, more obsessive but they’re the same. Just two days after giving his full effort to just one simple technique he called me…
“I’m cured,” he said.
This was after months of severe anxiety states. He was shaking a lot of the time, sweating heavily at night. His thoughts were racing constantly and he couldn’t control them.
He had to stop work several times and his life was grinding to a halt as he avoided as much as he could and withdrew into his private world of pain.
The reason I’m telling you all this is to show you the amazing power of attention. The technique is simple — distraction…
Attention is where your power is. Attention is the volume control for thoughts — as I’ve told him a thousand times.
The “cure” lasted ten days. Ten days of almost complete normality with no sign of OCD. And it took only two days to go from gibbering wreck to happy and enthusiastic using only distraction. Amazing!
Old habits die hard
And his cure would have been permanent but for the fact that ten days later after burning the candle at both ends, he had some little twinges of anxiety that triggered the old way of thinking. Slowly for a further 4 days, he ramped the whole thing back up again.
Again, this has powerful lessons for all of us. “Old habits die hard” as the saying goes. After making changes, we need to be sure to bed them in well.
It’s like riding a bike
“This OCD” I tell him, “is just like riding a bike. You’ll always be able to do it. Just DON’T GET ON THE BIKE.” Unfortunately he did — despite the most severe warnings. I talk to him for hours and hours and hours. “I can’t do this without you,” he says.
The truth is that all this talking is really unnecessary in the sense that it has only one purpose. To convince him that distraction IS the answer — to explain to him that his way can never work, and to get him to commit 100% to the simple method of distraction. Once he commits; two days. He is normal after two days. Twenty years of OCD gone.
If you stick your hand in the fire… it ALWAYS burns
So… round and round we go. As I speak he’s fallen back into the old way. Now he needs me to talk him out because it’s very foggy in there. He can’t see his own way out. I hope and pray that this time he’s learned and he won’t need to stick his hand in the fire one more time to realize… IT ALWAYS BURNS!
Thoughts are… just thoughts
The lesson for you and me is that thoughts aren’t us. They are for the most part conditioned reactions that we believe in and identify with. Once you can see thoughts as just thoughts, you have the power to remove your attention from unwanted ones.
Now you have a choice — to pay attention or not. Whether it’s because you want to stop a bad habit or stop a thought loop about a girlfriend that just dumped you, the process is the same. Distract from thoughts you don’t want (ie. ignore them) and their power is gone.
The amazing power of attention
Once you know this simple process, you’ll find a thousand ways it can serve you. Someone says something hurtful? Distract. Worried about tomorrow? Distract. Craving unhealthy food? Distract.
This one simple technique ALONE can have a massive impact on your health and happiness because you always have choice. There is always a choice of where to put your attention. You can stop reacting to everything in the same old conditioned way — the way everyone else reacts — predictably.
Master the process
Now you make your decisions consciously. You are in charge — not old habits, old ways and the same old reactions. If distraction can end 20 years of misery in only 2 days, what can it do for you?
Learn and master the incredible power of attention and you’re going to get happier and happier.
It’s been 8 years I am searching for a cure. Just to tell you thank you so much, I started the attention (distraction) method and my OCD is fading away. Many thanks!!
— Jad, Canada
Update: I received this feedback from the friend I talked about in the article:
Sometimes there’s things you don’t want but it’s a reality. But I now know thinking can bring nothing but more suffering. I don’t do OCD anymore. Thanks to you. Love you brother x
— Paul Attwell, UK
Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird
Happy Guide 
one more thing mike
Also What happens again and again and that bothers me a lot is When I am trying to coming out of anxiety various thoughts pops in that .It was all rubbish and the thought didn’t dominated when you were ignoring however this dominated today as you allowed and feeling like the thought.
However then i get the feeling i don’t need to think anything just do my work.However It feels suddenly like as If I forgot an important thought and now i felt complete anxiety guilt of forgetting an important thought for my ocd.Then tries to relive the whole situation ,force in my mind to remember and this causes more unwanted images that keeps me more anxious.Sometime i remember also.However At that time I am urged to think this way.
What type of thing is this.How should i tackle it?
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Oh I just explained the answer to this in the previous comment, you have to drop it by seeing logically, that the whole dysfunction is circular, created by anxious thoughts which create more anxiety. You have to either be clear that it has no value, that it’s not important, or set for for review, so you can do the work of ignoring all thoughts about it.
Thoughts come back with importance simply because that’s what fear does, the mind is showing you what you saw as a threat. So you need a way to remove the threat… by seeing the whole thing is just created by thinking, and there is no need to continue, or set for review. You need to have faith in ignoring. Find a way to drop it, so you can ignore everything, then the anxiety will quickly go once you stop feeding it.
Once you have DECIDED to drop it, then proceed to stay aware, and ignore all thoughts, because the DECISION is made.
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If you don’t make a decision to drop it by appeasing the fearful part, then it’s like your mind is split… you believe there is fear, something to resolve, a threat, then at the same time trying to ignore what you believe is a threat. There is another way you can resolve this split, and that is faith, by believing someone else’s clarity that there is no threat. So in this case the belief in the other persons’s clarity trumps your own belief and confusion, so you can let go. So your choices are…
1. See the dysfunction yourself, that there is no threat at all, it’s just thoughts.
2. Set it for review.
3. Have faith in someone else’s clarity that yes, it’s safe to ignore.
Then you are not fighting yourself, your whole effort is clear and consistent in ignoring any thoughts about it. And when you do that, your mind will very quickly respond to your clarity and consistency and stop giving you thoughts about it.
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Hi
One more thing .This thing keeps bothering me again and again.This thing gives me great anxiety thats often uncontrollable.
Today I was thinking of taking some medicines for my anxieties and was anxious with some thing in my mind .At that time I began to think that may be my anxieties can get corrected using some Ayurvedic medicines as this system of medicines corrects from within sometime.However as I was thinking this “I got a thought that if you know its anxiety then you can always control it “.Then couldn’t think more of medicine with that logic.Then I felt as if I am forced to think about this logic.Then I thought ok “Let’s control anxiety”.At this time felt as if my anxiety was gone.However I tried to establish though we will start with the methods micahel suggested.But couldn’t as felt just I can always control anxiety.I felt my anxiety is going away and away.Then I felt or thought that my mind is forcing me out of anxiety and want to think as I can control anxiety.and felt but I do not want to think this way.Then felt guilty a lot.I felt that I am the only one who is causing anxieties rather than believeing something useful even I can control them as I felt good after that thought.Then I felt extra anxious uncontrollable anxiety.Then I tried to establish Both thoughts in my mind that why medicines may be needed and for now i can also try to control the anxiety.However4 than lots of logic in favour disfavour.
ALso thinking I can leave it for later.and start with the methods.I can start with the suggested methods by mike.But also felt as if i am stuck in this.and all those sexual things may come.But thought its lot important to figure this thing out of my mind.I generally starts to feel like this.
It is also ocd behaviour or some other disorder that may be bothering me and I don’t know of it.
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Meditation is instant relief from feeling anxious once you get good with it. Then you can notice as soon as you START to feel anxious you can release it. You just pull your mind off.
I agree with you that it would be preferable to use natural methods first.
Logic can be used to reach the point of letting go of a thought or subject. Find a way to drop it, by seeing it has no value, and is creating a circular dysfunction through fear and anxiety which is keep you trapped. If you can’t drop it through simple logic — difficult if you are anxious because anxiety is not a state where logical thinking is clear, then set it for review… say “I will drop this whole thing for a week.” This is way to give yourself space to step out of the circle that is trapping you. THEN you calm down, THEN you see the whole thing more clearly, THEN you see you just made a big deal out of nothing. Then there is no need to review because you see clearly, you’re calm, you have no desire or wish to pick up the subject again. So simply find a way to drop it, either by logic, or by setting it for review, then ignore every thought about it “I will review next Monday.” This will work, because it appeases the anxious part of the mind, which is only there because you gave meaning, so if you can’t change the meaning, see it has no value, then set it for review. Either way, the goal is to let go of the problem. Now every thought that comes, you just remember your decision about it, so there is nothing you need to think about, no more mental resolution needed. You simply see a thought pop (because you are being aware), see it is irrelevant because you have decided, the refocus away, ignore. Simple. Repeat consistently every time a thought pops.
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Hi
What I need to is come out of all this thinking even how to get corrected I think.I am thinking more and wanting surity of methods or rather trying to be sure from inside by thinking and pondering over these.So i need to confirm once again.Is these the points I need to do?
I got these points from you that i need to do
1.Meditate every moment by making what you are doing meditation. I think also sitting and llistening meditation to improve this thing.?
2.Ignore unwanted thoughts. “Don’t care” is the right attitude for thoughts you want to disappear.Should I keep ignoring max thoughts as I become stormy again and again?
And the method distraction adds to ignoring thoughts as It worked in the testimonial I read about your friend?
3.diet and lifestyle changes.For this I may or may not be able to perform some.at this present time.
4.You told this “I am giving you the right info for what to do. Focus there. When the mind is stormy, it takes persistence in awareness, in meditation, in creating lifestyle changes to support health. These are where your effort need to be”.How these statements are related to last three points I mentioned?
Please be short and precise to confirm.and so that I can follow advice without pondering over it. and so that no confusion remains in me.
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Yes, and it’s very simple… listen for the next thought to pop, just alert, aware.
Yes.
When you are stormy, intensify awareness, RIVET your attention on what you are doing, or if possible, meditate using the listening method.
Distraction is the same as ignoring. You are basically telling the unconscious mind “I don’t care about this any more, it’s irrelevant.”
Do what you can, take steps.
It means the answers are SIMPLE, but hard to do at first, but that doesn’t mean you need new answers, it means persist in the RIGHT answers. Like training a dog to heal, he keeps running off, you keep a consistent correction, in faith that it takes a little time to get the result.
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and then I tried to establish the link between two thoughts and it kept thinking.
Here two thoughts are .For clarity here two thoughts are 1.you knew thought was not important and those unwanted just came after that.but you knew it.But I felt i am trying to feel a mental ritual so i should rather stop that.and
2. just leave everything.
But as I tried leaving I felt thinking that thought no.1 without any problem.But couldnt so try to link thought no1 an thought no 2 and feel.
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If in doubt, let it go. Your mind is chaotic. Create calm, peace, stillness by doing all the things I have suggested. As I said before, if you want your mind to settle, stop stirring, just watch it, just listen for what pops, just focus on what you are doing and notice what pops, let it go, return to peace.
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Hi Micahel
Its vaibhav here again.
Please help me. I am feeling lot of anxious.Today i talked to one of my friend about my problem.I had a specific situation where I felt in a circle despite being committed tommorrow to not give importance and ignore.However I felt as I forgot some thought that was important and as I forgot I got the urge to remember.And then I felt unwanted sexual thoughts have to be here and they are coming.Felt very guilty after that,then trying to establish How the sexual thoughts was not important.Finding ways to get out of that.Thought its habit.But then a thought came saying How can you be sure its habit problem as i was feeling guilty as I thought everything.Then to come out of this I felt “you knew thought was not important and those unwanted just came after that.but you knew it.But I felt i am trying to feel a mental ritual so i should rather stop that.and just leave and then I tried to establish the link between two thoughts and it kept thinking.
One of my friend suggested me these ways.He was aware of both things my committment and the situation of morning I explained him.
1.nothing is wrong/write.
2.I said him I felt I feel at the time of ignoring I feel wrongl way and here thinknig wrong logically.So it becomes difficult for me then he said you don’t know whats right or whats wrong in the world.I have done so much in life and all was wrong.
3.He also told me to make one of your thoughts king of the thoughts to fight with the disease.Make an aim and work towards it.But this thing made me anxious a lot as I feel pressurized with this thing.I don’t know.I don’t wnt to make a aim and work towards it for the sake of disease.Then I kept discussing with him.He told you need someone whom you believe blindly and follow.But you will not follow me as I am your friend.Find someone to make your master.But I felt he may be right about aim thing as I felt his other things he explained were good.I felt anxious.I talked to him again and again and he told me this thing.
But I felt anxious as he told that aim and king of thoughts thing.I wanted to make sure I just dont want to think of any aim just want to correct myself.My disease.Then he told me that your Its not disease.Everybody has thoughts and you are not ill.Only thing is Make an aim etc.etc.These aim making is making me anxious again and again.I don’t know why i am searching for the answer of this.I actually wanted to get corrected without making an aim.but he told only way is to make aim and I think I don’t want to make any aim right now. and make a thought king of thoughts.Just want to get in tune with the things.and don’t think about aim .But I couldn’t take nor ignore.However I want to feel why I don’t want to make an aim at present time.I got stuck into this for long and even felt anxious a lot times while discussing from him.Felt its important but don’t know whats happening and I am anxious due to this thing.
What you suggest What I need to do at this time.And why I am feeling so much anxiousness.?
And for me I had three things in my mind .1.go to therapist 2.meditate. 3.ignore .However
his thoughts I couldn’t ignore as he told them with so much surity.
And I having fear,anxiousness etc.But i felt I can’t make an aim with pressure.
Felt anxious a lot.
Please explain why this happened?and did my friend has understanding of my problem.Should I take him seriously next time?
Also I have written so much posts on your blog.Please tell me what exactly I need to do and follow as I believe you.
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The aim is to stay in awareness of thoughts that pop.
The aim is to ignore thoughts you don’t want.
Thoughts often have a sense of importance and meaning they don’t deserve simply because you gave them that quality previously. Meditation is a process of simply listening for thoughts, it’s a higher state of consciousness where YOU are not ONE with thoughts.
99% of thoughts are just static or old stuff you said was important coming back for review. What you fear, will cause repeats, that what fear does. So if you fear the chaos in your own mind you add dysfunction to it, make it worse.
Just let thoughts go by like clouds in the sky. Once you get peaceful, your thoughts will become much more helpful and trustworthy, and they come with perfect timing.
Your aim is to simply notice them, let them be, and let them go.
Your frantic search for meaning is keeping you trapped, you have not stepped OUT of thinking into awareness, so you see thoughts are yourself. When you move into awareness, the meaning of thoughts does not need second guessing.
Meditate every moment by making what you are doing meditation. Ignore unwanted thoughts. Your reaction to what comes creates what happens next, the mind runs on meaning. “Don’t care” is the right attitude for thoughts you want to disappear.
I strongly suggest you read Happy Guide, because everything affects everything else. You want a highly functioning brain, and that depends on many things like your diet and lifestyle.
The anxiety is there because you don’t know what to do. I am giving you the right info for what to do. Focus there. When the mind is stormy, it takes persistence in awareness, in meditation, in creating lifestyle changes to support health. These are where your effort need to be.
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