I often write about my friend who has “OCD” — obsessive compulsive disorder. Because the issues he faces are the same ones we all face.
His are just more extreme, more obsessive but they’re the same. Just two days after giving his full effort to just one simple technique he called me…
“I’m cured,” he said.
This was after months of severe anxiety states. He was shaking a lot of the time, sweating heavily at night. His thoughts were racing constantly and he couldn’t control them.
He had to stop work several times and his life was grinding to a halt as he avoided as much as he could and withdrew into his private world of pain.
The reason I’m telling you all this is to show you the amazing power of attention. The technique is simple — distraction…
Attention is where your power is. Attention is the volume control for thoughts — as I’ve told him a thousand times.
The “cure” lasted ten days. Ten days of almost complete normality with no sign of OCD. And it took only two days to go from gibbering wreck to happy and enthusiastic using only distraction. Amazing!
Old habits die hard
And his cure would have been permanent but for the fact that ten days later after burning the candle at both ends, he had some little twinges of anxiety that triggered the old way of thinking. Slowly for a further 4 days, he ramped the whole thing back up again.
Again, this has powerful lessons for all of us. “Old habits die hard” as the saying goes. After making changes, we need to be sure to bed them in well.
It’s like riding a bike
“This OCD” I tell him, “is just like riding a bike. You’ll always be able to do it. Just DON’T GET ON THE BIKE.” Unfortunately he did — despite the most severe warnings. I talk to him for hours and hours and hours. “I can’t do this without you,” he says.
The truth is that all this talking is really unnecessary in the sense that it has only one purpose. To convince him that distraction IS the answer — to explain to him that his way can never work, and to get him to commit 100% to the simple method of distraction. Once he commits; two days. He is normal after two days. Twenty years of OCD gone.
If you stick your hand in the fire… it ALWAYS burns
So… round and round we go. As I speak he’s fallen back into the old way. Now he needs me to talk him out because it’s very foggy in there. He can’t see his own way out. I hope and pray that this time he’s learned and he won’t need to stick his hand in the fire one more time to realize… IT ALWAYS BURNS!
Thoughts are… just thoughts
The lesson for you and me is that thoughts aren’t us. They are for the most part conditioned reactions that we believe in and identify with. Once you can see thoughts as just thoughts, you have the power to remove your attention from unwanted ones.
Now you have a choice — to pay attention or not. Whether it’s because you want to stop a bad habit or stop a thought loop about a girlfriend that just dumped you, the process is the same. Distract from thoughts you don’t want (ie. ignore them) and their power is gone.
The amazing power of attention
Once you know this simple process, you’ll find a thousand ways it can serve you. Someone says something hurtful? Distract. Worried about tomorrow? Distract. Craving unhealthy food? Distract.
This one simple technique ALONE can have a massive impact on your health and happiness because you always have choice. There is always a choice of where to put your attention. You can stop reacting to everything in the same old conditioned way — the way everyone else reacts — predictably.
Master the process
Now you make your decisions consciously. You are in charge — not old habits, old ways and the same old reactions. If distraction can end 20 years of misery in only 2 days, what can it do for you?
Learn and master the incredible power of attention and you’re going to get happier and happier.
It’s been 8 years I am searching for a cure. Just to tell you thank you so much, I started the attention (distraction) method and my OCD is fading away. Many thanks!!
— Jad, Canada
Update: I received this feedback from the friend I talked about in the article:
Sometimes there’s things you don’t want but it’s a reality. But I now know thinking can bring nothing but more suffering. I don’t do OCD anymore. Thanks to you. Love you brother x
— Paul Attwell, UK
Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird
Happy Guide 
Hello James and Michael
I am suffering from clss 11 and its 3 years now
At first i dont know what was happening. First year i was thinking that it’s not a problem
But then i realize i can’t study and i can’t control my mind.. I think what i fear the most and i have thoughts which i cant say to anyone. I will do smethng wrong.. Hurt somebody or i will do something which i fear. But the worst thing i always think about dirt.. I wash my hands 25 times a day.. Then also i think they are dirty. Thw worst thing is that this thing is increasing. Now i have habit of rechecking things many times. I waste many time doing this. Everyday or in few days, i have suicidal thoughts. I have told my parents they just think its not a problem they just told me to ignore it or i can say here nobody knows about it. Then i searched on web, i was happy to know that its was “ocd”. Since then I am trying to get over with it. I am reading novels, and trying to think positively but it is not doing much help. Everytime i am sad. I cant feel good even when something good happens to me. I always have negative thoughts about everything. It is affecting my life . I m very stressed and depressed. I have lost confidence in myself like i think i can’t do anything becaues of ocd. My grades are going down. Please Help me, i dont want unwanted thoughts and i want to be happy. I dont want to waste my time doing unwanted rituals. Please tell me what to do..
LikeLike
Hi Mini, it’s completely normal to have these kinds of thoughts, and to develop these kinds of habits, as a result of being anxious. Our mind deliberately “shows” us what we fear, in order to protect us from possible danger. It’s a survival mechanism in our minds, that evolved to protect us from real dangers such as lions. I don’t know your situation but a likely cause for your anxiety is pressure to get good grades and “achieve”. If so, please read these articles and get back to me. :-)
https://happy.guide/2016/10/09/if-youre-happy-youre-successful
Best wishes,
James
LikeLike
Thank you..
I think you are right about my situation and it is normal to have these kind of thoughts. I am happy about this. I will do meditation and other things. By reading those articles, i came to know that i am almost like ashok. Somewhere i just want to achieve and in that pressure i become worried. By reading that article i realized that i always used to thought that by being successful i can be happy. But i was wrong . Now i will change my thinking. I think your articles helped me alot.But i have a query, if all this is normal then why i am confused with everything, i know what i am doing is not necessary and is waste of time but i can’t stop myself?? I can’t think that everything is right .Why this happens to me? Like rechecking of things and all
LikeLike
It’s wonderful that you now have a new mindset!
These behaviors arise out of our state. Anxiety produces anxious thoughts, and often habits. Anxiety is a “fight or flight” state — a state designed to save us from a lion. In that state, our thinking can become very confused, irrational, and result in strange habits and compulsions. To break the new habits, like rechecking of things, just do exactly the same as breaking any other habit like biting your nails. You catch yourself doing it (you notice it) and stop (distract), with no emotional reaction, just calm.
In short, now you know the cause of what was happening to you, you can just relax about the whole thing and ignore all of the new habits. They will drop away quite quickly if you ignore them with no emotional reaction. Same with the anxiety — just ignore it, don’t worry about it and will drop away. :-)
Best wishes,
James
LikeLike
Hi michael .
I hv been suffering through extreme anxiety nd stress due to perceived negative aspect of life . I have gone in to another world of thoughts where i m not able to study nd achieve anything in my life .basic root of my negative world is fear of doing wrongs in life bcs of dat we have to suffer . I hv been idle in my life since 3-4 years . I feel helpless now . I hv not achieved anything . Pls suggest me what do i need to do. Can you help me anyway ?? I hv read out previous commnts of urs . I think you can let me overcome dis hell in my life . Pls help me.
LikeLike
Hi Shef,
The most important thing is to get back to feeling good first. Only then can you make good decisions about your future and be able to study well (if that’s what you choose to do).
Unfortunately we’re born into a world where we’re (sometimes subconsciously) told that “success” is what life is all about — to make a mark, have an impact and make people proud. This can cause a lifetime of suffering, and of not feeling “worthy.” There’s more about not believing the common idea of “success” in these articles:
In the long run, I highly recommend reading the book. It will show you how to come out of your world of thoughts, and put the causes of health and happiness in place. From THAT state, where you’re feeling good for no reason again, you’ll be able to make clear, natural life choices. But don’t try to put the cart before the horse. Use the guide to feel good FIRST, then see what you do :-)
https://happy.guide/book
Best wishes,
James
LikeLike
Thank you so much… I think you saved me.
LikeLike
You’re very welcome Anthony :-)
LikeLike
Hi james n mike,i hv a query that how is this possible that without thinking or worrying,anxiety is present?
LikeLike
Hi Kush. Anxiety keeps us sharp and alert in the face of perceived danger. It’s part of our human survival mechanism. Check out this article, particularly the “attitude” section near the top:
Best wishes,
James
LikeLike
Hi james,the reason for my query is that i’ve been suffering from sensorimotor ocd,since 7 years,actually i should say “ocd” for first 4 years,but since 3 years ,i hv no sensorimotor thoughts of breathing,eye contact etc.,i dont obsess still my system of breathing is same way as in ocd,very rarely i feel normal for about 1 hr. then its again the same thing,i am again mentioning u that there is no thinking of thoughts,but due to anxiety it remains 24/7,thats why i was asking the question i mentioned previously.
LikeLike
Anxiety is an after-effect of perceived danger. If you’ve given lots of attention/importance to things that should have had no attention, then you’ve communicated to your subconscious “this is a problem, this is an issue, this is something that needs resolving” — in short, this is potentially dangerous in some way. It’s all part of our survival mechanism. Attention (and especially attention combined with emotion) is how we tell our brains what is relevant, what is important, what is dangerous. Anxiety keeps us sharp and alert to that perceived danger.
So although you may have got to a place where you are ignoring triggers / urges (which is wonderful!) that little mechanism in your brain may still feels that there is something important, relevant, dangerous even, about what you have been paying attention to for so long. It doesn’t yet know that the “danger” has passed — not surprising because these things become habits which we can then repeat for years.
So “in the moment” the answer is always to ignore the trigger, the thought, the urge. Ignore the anxiety. Ignore any “backlash” from your mind. A regular meditation habit will make this easier and easier. When you persist with this approach, everything will settle down and you will get back to a peaceful mind.
The long term answer is always to create a relaxed, peaceful, healthy way of life. Remove causes of stress and anxiety. Because these problems arise out of your state — your overall biochemical condition. The book tells you exactly how to create the conditions for health and peace of mind in the shortest possible time.
Doe this make sense? Let me know if anything isn’t clear.
LikeLike
Thnx so so much james!
LikeLike
No worries Kush!
LikeLike
HI Mr James. This is DK this side. I m suffering from OCD from my childhood. Now I m turned in to 30. Unwanted thoughts, too much worry, always thinking about sex, always unhappy, uneasiness. Tell me what to do SIR.
LikeLike
Hi DK, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have a question about the article?
LikeLike