Ahsan asks…
“The progress is ok, but I need a finishing touch to really end this. By finishing touch I mean a killer to really end the whole of it. The thoughts are an “on and off” kind of situation and sometimes I am able to ignore but sometimes they still bother me.
It’s happened before that I think I have found a solution and then these thoughts get back again. The problem is that I am still feeling uncomfortable. I want to feel free, relaxed and light but there is still a kind of mental barrier.”
Please, please understand that this progress is immensely important. You should be overjoyed at this progress.
There is no killer other than “no importance — distract”, provided any supporting beliefs have been deconstructed — which is the case with you, since you know these thoughts are silly.
This simple method IS the killer but please, please be patient, consistent and calm about applying it…
KNOW that this method will result in the end of these unwanted thoughts that have plagued you for so long and that this knowledge and feeling will give you the calmness you need.
On and off is wonderful. Much easier to deal with on and off. When they come, simply notice the thought forming, give no importance and distract, remove attention back to what you were doing…
Relax, seriously. DIRECTION is everything and progress means the right direction. If you get frustrated, that is more attention. If you get disturbed that is more attention and you risk ramping the whole thing up again.
Stay calm and faithful, apply the method with absolute consistency and you will see the end of this — the forgetting of unwanted thoughts.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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Hi Ahsan,
The fear is all over you because the primitive part of your mind that deals with these things is just wanting you to PAY ATTENTION to the thing YOU told it to FEAR!
Just SEE it as an old pattern, no longer useful. Notice the fear and have indifference to the fear — because you RECOGNIZE what that fear is and you see it as rubbish.
It’s like if I live in an area where there are lions and I live in fear of the lions. I think about how to avoid them constantly and carry weapons all the time.
Then a ranger who I have absolute faith in tells me…
At first, I still worry. Why? It’s HABIT. I have associated smells, actions, sights, behavior with fear about lions.
But each time the fear comes I SEE it as OLD. Now… THERE ARE NO LIONS. I simply remember the current reality. And although the fear lingers because that’s what emotions do, I just ride it out, I just ignore it.
Ahsan, you are making great progress and you get to the point of relief and you think “Yes, I have found a way that works.” And then when thoughts are triggered again, you don’t remember the new conditions… you get sucked in to fearing again which ramps the whole thing back up.
Here is an iron clad guarantee for you. 100% guaranteed to work. Remember this and appy it as I say and you will get what you want…
—
THE FORMULA:
“From NOW and FOREVER more, whenever I am aware of ANY thought or feeling relating to this subject, I give it no importance and RIVET my attention elsewhere.”
—
It doesn’t matter if you get relief and then in two weeks a little thought comes back. Apply the formula with 100% accuracy and these things will STOP COMING.
Even if you are aware “Hey, I haven’t thought about my unwanted thing for two weeks” THAT IS ATTENTION and you immediately distract.
BEWARE subtle forms of attention. In your mind a thing is either THERE or it ISN’T.
You can’t be aware it’s not there — because then it IS there… in your mind. There is ATTENTION to the subject.
ANYTHING related gets the same treatment… no importance, distract. FROM NOW until FOREVER. Now that is SIMPLE and guaranteed to get what you want… That there is no longer any AWARENESS of anything to do with this.
Now read the formula 100 times. Heck, write it DOWN 100 times… more if need be ’til you are sooooo crystal clear about what to do.
Then NEVER EVER go against the formula. Apply with 100% consistency, no matter how frequently or how intensely the unwanted thoughts comes.
The greater the intensity, the greater your WILL is to hold attention AWAY.
DO IT and you will be rid of this forever.
Write it… 100 times… don’t just read these words…. write it 100 times and then BEGIN IT. DO IT absolutely and resolutely.
Job done.
Do it and see.
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Hi Mike,
You write in the formula: “ANY thought of feeling relating to this subject” does that mean I’m not allowed to even think of the method and how I would deal with them if them come back, I just “give no importance-distract” naturally and quickly when they pop up ?
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There’s no need to think about the method. Now you know it, all you need to do is apply it. That is, Awareness > Thought pops > No importance / distract.
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Oh, and you definitely don’t want to be pondering what you would do with an unwanted thought if it comes back. That’s just giving it attention, indirectly. It’s giving it importance.
If I’m trying to stop thinking about pink elephants, I can’t do that by pondering what I would do if I thought of a pink elephant. All that does is make me think of a pink elephant :-)
Something either has your attention or it doesn’t. All you need to do is remove attention from the thought, when it pops. Don’t look for it, don’t anticipate it. Just notice it when it pops, and remove attention (ie. no importance/distract).
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thnx mike,
i know it works but the problem is how long can i ignore these thoughts , the best is to ignore but still there should be a way that i get rid of these thoughts coming into my mind as you said that u cant tell ur mind to stop tjinking about it , the real problem is that despite ignoring i get mentally disturbed and there is fear all over me , and these thoughts are hurting me so much that i fear that i just dont waste my life because of these , some times i feel so better when i read ur mails and think that why i am still getting bothered by these thoughts , mike i would not like to go to a psychologist as i have not told my family about this problem and cant tell them , mike i am getting more and more desperate to get rid of them , even if i dont get rid of these thoughts i want something that i dont get disturbed and feel relaxed and feel comfortable because i felt better and they come back
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Hi Ahsan,
Why despair for the future when you have already proved this works?
It’s incredibly difficult to do at first because these are powerful habits — subtle and powerful and we are not used to standing back and observing our thoughts — our attention is “sucked in.” And you have given tremendous importance and fear to these ideas.
So they come back frequently and intensely. At first, that’s hard to deal with which is why you need exceptional clarity.
It like I say to you “Ahsan, I am going to sit you on this chair in front of this door. When I open the door, hell will be unleashed… all kinds of weird, seductive, strange and distrubing things will come. Just do hothing, stare at this dot on the wall to keep sane. If you don’t, these things will drag you in and you’ll be lost, you’ll be dragged into the nightmare.”
I know it’s hard. I have spent hundreds of hours talking around severely disturbed people because when you’re IN the nightmare, it’s all so confusing and dark and hopeless.
But if you would only trust me and give your best effort to removing ATTENTION, the nightmare goes very quickly — the worst of it anyway, and after that, just stick to the program and they die away completely.
If you can’t do it on your own Ahsan, it may be best to get psychological help locally… someone who can spend the time with you to talk you around.
But this works, as you’ve seen yourself.
I suggest you read all the emails I sent you, and this post over and over and get REALLY clear. Then decide to do it. Make the decision that whatever “comes through the door” related to this subject, gets NO ATTENTION.
To do that you must distract because you cannot tell your mind not to think about something.
I hope this helps Ahsan. Don’t despair for the future. I have seen people on the verge of needing hospitalization turn into sane human beings in only a few days with this method.
If you get anxious… RUN. Get rid of that adrenaline.
You have zero chance of controlling thoughts when you’re pumped full of adrenaline.
Mike
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hi mike,
after all the hard work its so unfortunate that these days my problem is getting even more worse and i am really feeling bad, mike now how do i live my future life , i am just 23 and my whole is ahead of me what should i do , i have tried to ignore and give no importance but i am not getting rid of them , mike its really a very difficult problem
now what should i do , plz help me
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Hi Ahsan,
It’s about consistently removing attention. You need a consistent distraction. If thoughts are on and off it’s much easier to spot an arising thought and divert.
If thoughts are all over you can drown it out by filling your mental space… by humming a continuous note and focusing on the vibration… in your head, in your chest and the sound of the note. This is removing attention.
If your religion has chants… this will also work in the same way.
See the “Live in the Moment” chapter to refresh your mind on the reason and the methods for living in the moment.
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