Ahsan asks…
“The progress is ok, but I need a finishing touch to really end this. By finishing touch I mean a killer to really end the whole of it. The thoughts are an “on and off” kind of situation and sometimes I am able to ignore but sometimes they still bother me.
It’s happened before that I think I have found a solution and then these thoughts get back again. The problem is that I am still feeling uncomfortable. I want to feel free, relaxed and light but there is still a kind of mental barrier.”
Please, please understand that this progress is immensely important. You should be overjoyed at this progress.
There is no killer other than “no importance — distract”, provided any supporting beliefs have been deconstructed — which is the case with you, since you know these thoughts are silly.
This simple method IS the killer but please, please be patient, consistent and calm about applying it…
KNOW that this method will result in the end of these unwanted thoughts that have plagued you for so long and that this knowledge and feeling will give you the calmness you need.
On and off is wonderful. Much easier to deal with on and off. When they come, simply notice the thought forming, give no importance and distract, remove attention back to what you were doing…
Relax, seriously. DIRECTION is everything and progress means the right direction. If you get frustrated, that is more attention. If you get disturbed that is more attention and you risk ramping the whole thing up again.
Stay calm and faithful, apply the method with absolute consistency and you will see the end of this — the forgetting of unwanted thoughts.
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Michael Kinnaird is the author of Happy Guide, the result of a 20 year exploration into what works for health and happiness.
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mike, could u plz elaborate about the humming method and i didnt understand what u meant by Focus on the vibration, the sounds. If you religion has chants you can use those. i didnt understood what it meant plz elobrate it a bit
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Hi Ahsan,
You have already experience the cause and effect of ATTENTION. When you’ve used this method, it leads to diminishing unwanted thoughts. Trust THAT, see the cause and effect. Attention is the volume control for thoughts.
It’s very easy to say ignore and that is lucky for you because if it was difficult to explain the method, you’d be doomed. With the problem being soooooo complex, it’s a very good thing that the solution is simple.
There are only two ways I can think of that will ensure you follow through — 1. you SEE how it all works yourself and then it’s a no brainer, you just do it. Or 2. You simply have faith in what I’m telling you AND your own experience of cause and effect.
Faith is rewarded by experience… as you have seen. What is happening is that you are giving your best effort and getting good results but then the thoughts win over again, having the disturbing qualities attached, as they do.
It does get easier and easier if you persist. When you start to get frustrated that they are STILL THERE, it’s attention, you start thinking, problem making, getting anxious and the whole thing ramps ups again.
Imagine this whole problem you have as a complex web/maze of interacting thoughts and feeling all related to this one subject. We’re going to put a fence around the maze and stick a no entry sign at every entry point (trigger).
To do this, you simply notice/become aware of attention to ANY thought OR feeling related to this subject and DIVERT attention away. Have a consistent diversion and it becomes a NEW habit.
You have to drop the whole problem, give it up, let it go.
The solution to a happy life is Happy Guide, WHEREVER you are starting from. The WHOLE thing is the solution… not just the break bad habits chapter and the live in the moment chapter, which you could do with reading about 100 times until it’s so crystal clear you can repeat it verbatim.
All the six elements are powerful influencers of MOOD. It’s this background mood which has a lot to do with the quality of thoughts AND the meaning we attach to them.
Do it ALL to get the best result.
You have built a complex maze of thought habits and these thoughts have a QUALITY or MEANING that you have given them in the past — stress, importance, distubance, anxiety.
Reprogram when they come by an attitude of INDIFFERENCE. If you feel disturbed, see that is just the feeling triggered by the thought. And that feeling is only there because you told your mind “This is something to FEAR.”
Reprogram — NO IMPORTANCE.
See all this as true. SEE it OR just trust me… either will work. The method is simple, easy to say and utterly effective IF APPLIED consistenty and with 100% clarity and committment.
This attitude will send the CLEAREST of messages to your unconscious mind. This is trash, it means zero to me, you can stop telling me about it.
Drop the whole problem. No attention, no importance, clear decisive, effective.
Mike
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Ahsan,
Use the humming method in the Live in the Moment chapter to drown out unwanted thoughts. This can help. Focus on the vibration, the sounds. If your religion has chants you can use those. Don’t forget when praying to do it in a meditative way. This will raise your general abiity to “step back” and not be sucked in by thoughts.
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hi mike,
i have tried extremly hard to give no attention and ignore these thoughts but the problem i am feeling is that they are not letting me relax and are bothering my concentration in what ever i am doing i know its easy to say that just ignore but i am so much into them that i cant go with logic and i am again feeling extremly disturbed i thought i should not email you the same problem again but as u know i am help less and really getting rest less and worried that when would this problem get solved and when should i able to live a normal life
and the main problem which i feel is that these thoughts are about religion had my ocd been about any thing else i am sure i would have able to control it , plz help me and tell me some other solution , mike plz dont get fed up from me u can help me , plzzzz
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Hi Ahsan,
I won’t get fed up but it can be frustrating going over the same ground when what REALLY needs to happen is the consistent application of a very simple but incredibly effective and powerful technique.
You have experience now with this method and you know that when applied with full effort, always leads to improvement and progress.
What I’m saying is that direction is everything. Progress is very rarely a simple line from here to there. Instead we tend to go around in circles for a while until the cause and effect relationships become very clear.
BUT if you had complete faith in what I’m saying, it WOULD BE a straight line. The thoughts would die away and disappear very quickly.
Thoughts become thought habits and old thought habits have DEEP GROOVES and many triggers. That’s why you need to send your unconscious mind the most CLEAR and consistent message.
“This is NOT IMPORTANT,” and remove attention. Apply it over and over and over again, simply, calmly, confidently.
In this way, all triggers are reprogrammed by this new habit which at first only has a shallow groove. But persist and be consistent and the new habit soon becomes very firmly established.
My frustration is seeing it soooo clearly and trying to get that clarity across to what is a disturbed mind. But have you ever known me once to say something different? The message is clear and precise because it needs to be, to be effective.
This method will result in the FORGETTING of unwanted thoughts. Have FAITH in that, trust what I’m telling you and give your 100% effort to “no importance, distract.”
Change that inconsistency to consistency in applying this. It only needs your consistent best effort.
If you’re inconsistent you really CONFUSE your unconscious mind. One minute you say it’s not important, the next it’s important again — in fact, the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life. This will lead to very slow progress.
Ahsan, ponder what needs to be done until it’s totally, absolutely CRYSTAL CLEAR and your decision to follow through with this is UNSHAKABLE.
Then FOLLOW THROUGH, totally, with 100% committment and clarity and that is the fastest and most effective way to rid yourself of this nightmare.
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yes mike ,
i understand what should i do and how to do it but still sometimes i let these thoughts disturb me i dont know why i know now u might get fed up of me but that is why im suffering from ocd , there is a great inconsistency in me
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